OT - The Bachelorette and the Narcissist
 

Yes, I'm watching this season of the Bachelorette!

Love or hate this show, it is an interesting view of human nature and reactions.

This season there is a true narcissist on the show. If you are interested in seeing how this dynamic works, this is actually a really good example.

Watch how things get twisted, how he can never take responsibility for anything, how he changes the story from what he actually says and we saw him say to something he knows is acceptable to others. Also notice how, later on, he has to stop and think about how he - wants to put something so people can "understand" (that's a huge red flag).

So misunderstood lol

Yes, not for you definitely.

Some people have never really seen one up close and personal. Yes, a lot is set up in these programs, that's a given, but the narcissistic is real enough to be interesting I think to those that might not have experienced that.

Also interesting that everyone around could see it except for the person involved. Well I mean she knew something wasn't quite right,

Enough said! Don't want to give it away lol

trailmix…..I confess that I have been watching it. And, yes, I KNOW that it is a very much set up by the producers. In fact, I consider it a very cruel show...to play with real human emotions for "entertainment"....and, YET...I watch it like so many others. I think the reason why, is, that, we humans are naturally wired to be interested in other humans and human relationships....no matter where we see it...
And, I think that human romantic relationships have a very high level of interest to us....I believe, because those are so central to our human biologic experience....it makes the world go round...lol....

Lol...I know several people who watch it, secretly, but won't admit it, publicaly.

Yeah, that guy was a real control freak....and, yet, she was sooo attracted to him, while he was driving her "crazy"......

I'll tell you how I stopped caring about the narcissist. I had a very close relative to confide in. Luckily when he left my city I spoke to him online a lot, I say luckily because I would share much of it with this other person.

So he would say blah blah blah lying-bunch of self serving ego building garbage and she would say well you know that's - a lying bunch of self serving garbage!

Luckily for me I actually had an ahha moment, yes it happened that fast (may have been on it's way for weeks) where it actually felt like a physical as well as a mental shift. Everything I saw/heard him say from then on - I could finally SEE the manipulation and what garbage it was.

That's how I got away. Shortly after that I went NC. The reason for that decision was I thought, this person in no way has my best interests at heart and why on earth does he have access to me at all? This is someone who could potentially hurt me. That was the end of that.

The letter she wrote to you is nothing but manipulation, no more, no less. She would like nothing more than for you to return, she's not done with you, in fact she probably would have done this for years and years if you hadn't left.

https://i.postimg.cc/TPGQWz9k/bachelorette-eyes.png

Interestingly, after I left a relationship with a narcissist and reviewed photos, I noticed his eyes were not "normal". They were not warm or happy or nice, they were smirking/cold often.

These are the cropped pictures of four of the bachelor's this year - not purposefully made to look any particular way, I took them from an article written before the show actually started.

Can you tell who the deemed narcissist is just from looking at their eyes?

#4

*ets, I didn't read the whole thread, and I have never seen the show, so I hope I'm not stepping in "it."

Or maybe #1.

So, I guess no. I can't guess. :lmao

Perhaps this is why I made such poor choices in men.

For what it is worth.....I have heard so many partners describe that when their mate went into some kind of rage...they could actually see the eyes changing.....
Of course, the eyeball has no expression of it's own---It is just like a large marble.....
....the "expression" is created by the muscles surrounding the eyes...and, those muscles are controlled by the emotions in the brain, and carried to the muscles via the nervous system.....

my bet is on #2.
#4 just looks flat out psycho

i will say tho, #1 has that total cute devilish look - my total weakness.
think young brad pitt in thelma and louise. dancing crinkly eyes, beautiful smile, pretty face, fun, sexy and robbing you blind. yup, sign me up. sigh.

I will reveal who it is later on this evening.

Yeah. Twinkly. He was my first guess. I've made spectacularly bad choices in the pursuit of that mischievous twinkle.

And really, if some of these guys are already eliminated, who's to say that they aren't also narcissists. Or Borderline. Or sociopaths or psychopaths. I'm thinking they at the very least may have a screw loose if they're on Bachelorette, right?

I'm betting it's no. 4. They remind me of the Narcopath in my life.

Well you guys got it, Luke is number 4!

He is lol - As for the first guy, harmless enough, rather kooky really.

I knew it. x