1st meeting tonight

Old 11-23-2004, 12:47 PM
  # 1 (permalink)  
Thread Starter
Join Date: Nov 2004
Location: East Coast
Posts: 25
1st meeting tonight

Hi Everyone,

Well, I finally called around and found an ALANON meeting for tonight about 30 miles away. I as so nervous. What if I see someone I know? My AH is in a 28 day recovery program about 5 hours away and he's only been there for
4 days.

I am a complete wreck. I have become agoraphobic. I need a gallon of milk and am afraid to go to the grocery store for fear someone might ask how AH is doing, where is he, what's wrong.......

He's a physician and has had to close his practice for the month. Plus he was out for a month prior due to hospitalization from pancreatitis. Neighbors, friends, patients, etc are calling my house looking for him. I feel like I need to put on a disguise when I go out.

How could he leave me in this predicament?

Maybe I will get something from the meeting tonight if I don't change my mind at the last minute.

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Old 11-23-2004, 12:54 PM
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Join Date: May 2004
Location: England
Posts: 3,410
Please don't change your mind - you sound like you could need some people to lean on for just a while.

This is not your shame, Sandy. Your husband's difficulties are not your fault. They are not a reflection of you.

Now is the time to do something for YOU. Check out my post to Buster a bit further down about meetings, so that you know what to expect.

I wish I was on the other side of the "Pond", so that I could go with you and hold your hand.

Take care of yourself.


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Old 11-23-2004, 04:34 PM
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Join Date: Nov 2004
Location: a state of insanity
Posts: 37
Sandyr, I wish I had enough guts to go by myself. I know it would do me a world of good. Would you let me know how it goes, what to expect and such. You're my hero!

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Old 11-23-2004, 04:41 PM
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Join Date: Aug 2004
Posts: 30
a meeting is the perfect remedy. although it won't solve your problems, it will help you see the root of your problems, break them down, and have the strength to stomp em out. try going to meetings regularly and i bet things will clear up in your head!
be strong!
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Old 11-23-2004, 05:42 PM
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Join Date: Jun 2003
Location: Minnesota
Posts: 407
Sandyr -

What if you see someone you know? They wouldn't be there if they weren't in the same boat you are. You might be surprised at who attends Alanon. Think of it this way - if you see someone you know and like, you have a friend who feels just like you do and can be a great support system for you. Hope that you went. It really does help.

Hugs, Jo
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Old 11-23-2004, 05:55 PM
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Join Date: Feb 2002
Location: Cleaverville
Posts: 2,898
Sandy and fancy...please go. I it is not so different than this place. You will find people who are doing exactly what you are doing. But when you look into someone's eyes and hold the hand next to you in the final prayer it is so different.

There will be a lttle cardboard stand up on the table that tells you "what is said here stays here"...believe it. Even if you run into someone you know they will never tell what you share.

Anyway...find a way to go...

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Old 11-23-2004, 07:09 PM
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Nov 2004
Location: East Coast
Posts: 25
OK, I just got back home and the kids are in bed as I sit down to write this.

I pulled into the parking lot of the church where I was told to go. I couldn't believe my eyes at all the cars! I could hardly find a parking space. My first thought was that this town must be full of alcoholics! There were people loitering everywhere. I headed up to the church and saw people all over the sorts of people. They looked like they were having a big party.

I turned around and headed back to my car. But in my despiration, I stopped a woman in the parking lot and asked her what was going on here tonight. She hesitated and then said, "Well it looks like they are having some kind of church function...and there's a NA meeting in that building and a AA meeting over there in that building. That's where I'm going. Do you want to come with me?"

I nodded my head and whispered that I was really looking for Alanon. She said, "Follow me. We'll find it." We didn't find the meeting, but she and another alcoholic woman and I had our own meeting. Boy, I feel 50 lbs lighter!

Angels of god! I'm going back next Tuesday and try again.

Thanks for your kind words,
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Old 11-23-2004, 07:18 PM
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Location: By The Lake
Posts: 59,547
Life takes us to where we're supposed to be, Sandy, and you ended up there tonight. It may not have been the meeting you had hoped for, but I'll bet it's one you'll never forget.

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Old 11-23-2004, 08:02 PM
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Join Date: Nov 2004
Location: East Coast
Posts: 25

I do believe "what is said here stays here". I work in my husband's clinic and we have the same philosophy. I have been trained well not to open my mouth.

I went to my sister's house to pick up the kids and she asked who was there. She said she probably knows some of the people (she and her husband own a bar). She could tell by the look I gave her that she shouldn't have asked that.

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