Oh my god

Old 07-20-2019, 08:57 AM
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Oh my god

Now he’s vowing to do everything to fix this. He will do whatever it takes. We can be happy again. He’s hit bottom. I just can’t. It’s different every day!
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Old 07-20-2019, 11:15 AM
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Dazed, it's time for you to do your imitation of a compass. Keep your needle pointing to true north, regardless of what bumps and twists the world around you takes.

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Old 07-20-2019, 11:19 AM
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Quit engaging him. He will say anything to get status quo back.

Tell him to contact you after a full year of recovery and you will consider it then, but that meanwhile divorce goes forward. He will show true colors. Drunks don't like the effort starting over takes. Easier to keep you enabling.
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Old 07-20-2019, 11:50 AM
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What is said in the mornings hardly ever matches what happens around late afternoons.

It’s back to deciding what you want and accepting what you can control, yes?
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Old 07-20-2019, 11:58 AM
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Originally Posted by Hawkeye13 View Post
Quit engaging him. He will say anything to get status quo back.

Tell him to contact you after a full year of recovery and you will consider it then, but that meanwhile divorce goes forward. He will show true colors. Drunks don't like the effort starting over takes. Easier to keep you enabling.
I have told him divorce moving forward. He says ok he will still do whatever it takes. Now a few hours later he’s back to on his way out. Good god.
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Old 07-20-2019, 11:58 AM
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When your focus is 100% on the addict — you will continue to go mad... & YOUR life will spiral out of control. Nothing good will come from walking back onto his rollercoaster. Ask for 1 year of sobriety minimum and ask a friend to crash on their couch! Obsession leads to heartbreak!!!
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Old 07-20-2019, 12:21 PM
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Dazed...of course, he is a spinning top....he is an alcoholic.

The time has finally come it seems...for the both of you to stop "talking the talk"....
And, begin "walking the walk".....

talk is cheap...
Action is what counts....
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Old 07-20-2019, 12:23 PM
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Originally Posted by Dazedandconfus View Post

I have told him divorce moving forward. He says ok he will still do whatever it takes. Now a few hours later he’s back to on his way out. Good god.
There's the true colors. You do need to get out of the house and hearing range. I suggest if any contact is necessary before he leaves, it should be via email or text. His verbal garbage is piling up.
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Old 07-20-2019, 12:24 PM
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as long as you sit there as his audience of one, the SHOW will go on.
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Old 07-20-2019, 12:27 PM
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Originally Posted by Ariesagain View Post
What is said in the mornings hardly ever matches what happens around late afternoons.

It’s back to deciding what you want and accepting what you can control, yes?
I get it. I have set my boundaries. Divorce moving ahead. I’m putting my emotional health first. He’s scared sh******. His own family won’t talk to him.
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Old 07-20-2019, 12:41 PM
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Originally Posted by Hawkeye13 View Post
There's the true colors. You do need to get out of the house and hearing range. I suggest if any contact is necessary before he leaves, it should be via email or text. His verbal garbage is piling up.
noted. Thank you hawkeye
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Old 07-20-2019, 12:41 PM
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Originally Posted by AnvilheadII View Post
as long as you sit there as his audience of one, the SHOW will go on.
out of range now. Thank you❤️
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Old 07-20-2019, 12:43 PM
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Originally Posted by dandylion View Post
Dazed...of course, he is a spinning top....he is an alcoholic.

The time has finally come it seems...for the both of you to stop "talking the talk"....
And, begin "walking the walk".....

talk is cheap...
Action is what counts....
yep. I’m giving myself another day to recover. I was literally on the suucide hotline last night. I never want to feel like that again. After another day I go back to living. He’s got some figuring out to do...doesn’t he now?
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Old 07-20-2019, 12:44 PM
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Originally Posted by LifeChangeNYC View Post
When your focus is 100% on the addict — you will continue to go mad... & YOUR life will spiral out of control. Nothing good will come from walking back onto his rollercoaster. Ask for 1 year of sobriety minimum and ask a friend to crash on their couch! Obsession leads to heartbreak!!!
amen to that. Out of range, in protection status and boundaries set. ❤️
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Old 07-20-2019, 12:46 PM
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Originally Posted by honeypig View Post
Dazed, it's time for you to do your imitation of a compass. Keep your needle pointing to true north, regardless of what bumps and twists the world around you takes.

compass pointed squarely in MY direction now. I owe all you guys a huge debt of gratitude. ❤️
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Old 07-20-2019, 12:53 PM
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Sometimes it’s all such a blur that it’s good to be able to go back and see what you’ve been through..here’s the link to all your threads, just in case you need to remember...

https://www.soberrecovery.com/forums...archid=8640890

Wishing you strength and peace of mind...

P.S. Your dog is okay, yes?
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Old 07-20-2019, 12:55 PM
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Originally Posted by Ariesagain View Post
Sometimes it’s all such a blur that it’s good to be able to go back and see what you’ve been through..here’s the link to all your threads, just in case you need to remember...

https://www.soberrecovery.com/forums...archid=8640890

Wishing you strength and peace of mind...

P.S. Your dog is okay, yes?
bless u for asking. She is comfy, full and sleeping. ❤️
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Old 07-20-2019, 01:03 PM
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So glad to hear you have exited the road show for now.

For the love of all things holy, how long does it take him to pack. When is he leaving, beginning of August? Any way to move that up? You can't put up with this for another week and a half.

Do you have anywhere you can go until then? Perhaps an Air BnB for a week at least. I know the costs of escaping are piling up and that may not be doable. How about a women's shelter? Might be an idea to give them a call?

You are doing really well by the way, hang in there.
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Old 07-20-2019, 01:16 PM
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Originally Posted by trailmix View Post
So glad to hear you have exited the road show for now.

For the love of all things holy, how long does it take him to pack. When is he leaving, beginning of August? Any way to move that up? You can't put up with this for another week and a half.

Do you have anywhere you can go until then? Perhaps an Air BnB for a week at least. I know the costs of escaping are piling up and that may not be doable. How about a women's shelter? Might be an idea to give them a call?

You are doing really well by the way, hang in there.
thank you trail mix! The default divorce will be heard around the 7th? I think. The house is mine so he is under tenant laws, that would give him 45 days from then legally. He wants 90 dats. I’m leaving it at 45. He is waiting to see what his work does. If they offer him a job in another state, he will go there. If he can keep his job here, he will stay here, but not with me. He’s pleading for some hope...if I show improvement can I stay? Some hope please? It’s pathetic. Divorce moving forward and a 45 day window to leave. That gives me full legal protection and rights. I wish him the very best, I really do, but I wish myself the very best too. 😀
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Old 07-20-2019, 01:19 PM
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By the way, I told him he needed to pay me back for all the hotels I had to go to, he wrote the check. 😀
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