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ABF in psych hospital My ABF was Baker Acted Wednesday evening for threats of self harm. Generally in our area the psych hospital only keeps people 72 hours. He gave permission for the intake lady to talk to me and she called to get history from me yesterday. She asked if he would be coming back to my house once discharged and I hesitated and asked what the alternative was, she replied not any good alternative, I asked if they plan on keeping him longer than 3 days, and told her he’s on the waiting list for in patient rehab in the next county, estimated bed availability 8/1/19. She said it was up to the doctor. Now I’m struggling with should I visit today or not. I’m not sure he’d want to see me, but I’m sure he wouldn’t turn me away, I know I’d hate to be in a psych hospital and not get any visits from anyone. Any thoughts? |
Originally Posted by Schne
(Post 7230107)
My ABF was Baker Acted Wednesday evening for threats of self harm. Generally in our area the psych hospital only keeps people 72 hours. He gave permission for the intake lady to talk to me and she called to get history from me yesterday. She asked if he would be coming back to my house once discharged and I hesitated and asked what the alternative was, she replied not any good alternative, I asked if they plan on keeping him longer than 3 days, and told her he’s on the waiting list for in patient rehab in the next county, estimated bed availability 8/1/19. She said it was up to the doctor. Now I’m struggling with should I visit today or not. I’m not sure he’d want to see me, but I’m sure he wouldn’t turn me away, I know I’d hate to be in a psych hospital and not get any visits from anyone. Any thoughts? |
I don’t intend to keep him, he needs to find an alternate place to live, he lined up the inpatient rehab, bed isn’t available until 8/1. I’m really torn should I visit or not, I’m leaning towards “no” . |
I thought you kicked him out some time ago after he left rehab and started drinking again? First, try not to assume his feelings are the same as yours would be. I see this over and over here...the partner bending over backwards to treat the alcoholic the way they would want to be treated. The Golden Rule is a beautiful thing, but nine times out of ten all it does is give the alcoholic another loophole to drive a truck through. Second, please please don’t let him back into your home after this. You’ll be stuck trying to wrangle a possibly detoxing and probably relapsing person coming off psych drugs...you’re not qualified to do that and they shouldn’t be asking you. You’re not married. You have no legal responsibility to him. If you go to visit him you’re going to be buying another ticket on the roller coaster. Wishing you strength and clarity. ETA: If you let him stay with you, I’d bet my car somehow that 8/1 rehab slot will magically disappear. |
follow your gut instinct. he can sit and think or you can get sucked into a line of BS. |
Thanks! I think I will not visit like my gut tells me”not visit” and enjoy my time alone, and go shopping instead, retail therapy for me. |
Rehab or no rehab Aug 1 he’s out, otherwise I planned on paying to evict him, I am completely done, I never agreed to take him once discharged, I asked for alternative placement. |
Originally Posted by Schne
(Post 7230119)
Rehab or no rehab Aug 1 he’s out, otherwise I planned on paying to evict him, I am completely done, I never agreed to take him once discharged, I asked for alternative placement. |
i don't "visits" are appropriate for things like Detox or Psychiatric Holds. both are short term and intensive. not a time for cards and flowers. it's best if we work hard not to make everything THEY are going thru something that WE need to SHARE in. let him do him. take care of you. |
Good for you. Not your circus not your monkeys. |
Excellent decision. Be ready and be careful not to let him in when he shows up at your door. |
They are going to push, and they will push hard for you to let him come to your home. Absolutely stick to your boundaries. Remember, he is the patient so they are only concerned about his wellbeing, not yours. Retail therapy sounds excellent! |
I live in a rural county and the psych hospital is in the next county up, I did not agree to accept him at discharge. I asked for alternate placement for him. |
Update He called me and they lifted the Baker Act and stuck him in detox. He asked if he could come home when done, I said I didn’t have answer that he would like, but we’d have to have a decent conversation about it, the line was very noisy, too loud of background noise to communicate. I said I was not happy and I was not going to put myself in the line of fire anymore. I guess I need to tell him while he’s in detox that he can not come back here, that the August 1st date of leaving the house has been moved up to now. |
I'd tell him to ask about sober living places while he is in detox. |
Yes. He is actually in a good place to get the help he needs now. As Suki mentioned, a sober living facility would be ideal. |
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