why do they forget us so easily?
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why do they forget us so easily?
It seems that alcoholics forget those who love them, and all too easily too!
In my case, my fiance seems to be doing great without me, and only after few months of separation too!? And we used to be really close in all kinds of ways (or so I thought).
So im wondering- do they think about us at all, or are they ready immediately to move on and find the next 'victim' so to speak!?
It feels so cruel somehow to think how years of life with someone can just be gone in a split second and they dont even blink!?
In my case, my fiance seems to be doing great without me, and only after few months of separation too!? And we used to be really close in all kinds of ways (or so I thought).
So im wondering- do they think about us at all, or are they ready immediately to move on and find the next 'victim' so to speak!?
It feels so cruel somehow to think how years of life with someone can just be gone in a split second and they dont even blink!?
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fiona, he is in a relationship with alcohol. He was with you too and that's nice, but you and everything else comes after alcohol. He hasn't lost his main relationship and in fact you were a threat to his relationship.
It really doesn't make sense unless you are an addict. It does not seem reasonable that someone would forsake a real honest to goodness person/relationship for some vodka, but it happens every day. Men and women leave their spouse their children and babies every day of the week to pursue their drug of choice.
So you probably think, well that's CAN'T be, no person would do that, no person in their right mind!
Well they aren't in their "right" mind, they are thinking through a veil of alcohol. Have you ever gotten drunk? Ever had 10 drinks or 5? If you have, think about being like that every day. How is that going to even work. Could you maintain relationships? Care about them as in really truly care? Would you be concerned for the other person and their well-being? Think about your future together?
Add on top of that being an alcoholic, the biggest concern is, is there enough alcohol left and where/when can they get more.
Addiction, Lies and Relationships
"As the addictive process claims more of the addict's self and lifeworld his addiction becomes his primary relationship to the detriment of all others. Strange as it sounds to speak of a bottle of alcohol, a drug, a gambling obsession or any other such compulsive behavior as a love object, this is precisely what goes on in advanced addictive illness.
This means that in addiction there is always infidelity to other love objects such as spouses and other family - for the very existence of addiction signifies an allegiance that is at best divided and at worst -and more commonly- betrayed. For there comes a stage in every serious addiction at which the paramount attachment of the addict is to the addiction itself. Those unfortunates who attempt to preserve a human relationship to individuals in the throes of progressive addiction almost always sense their own secondary "less than" status in relation to the addiction - and despite the addict's passionate and indignant denials of this reality, they are right: the addict does indeed love his addiction more than he loves them".
It really doesn't make sense unless you are an addict. It does not seem reasonable that someone would forsake a real honest to goodness person/relationship for some vodka, but it happens every day. Men and women leave their spouse their children and babies every day of the week to pursue their drug of choice.
So you probably think, well that's CAN'T be, no person would do that, no person in their right mind!
Well they aren't in their "right" mind, they are thinking through a veil of alcohol. Have you ever gotten drunk? Ever had 10 drinks or 5? If you have, think about being like that every day. How is that going to even work. Could you maintain relationships? Care about them as in really truly care? Would you be concerned for the other person and their well-being? Think about your future together?
Add on top of that being an alcoholic, the biggest concern is, is there enough alcohol left and where/when can they get more.
Addiction, Lies and Relationships
"As the addictive process claims more of the addict's self and lifeworld his addiction becomes his primary relationship to the detriment of all others. Strange as it sounds to speak of a bottle of alcohol, a drug, a gambling obsession or any other such compulsive behavior as a love object, this is precisely what goes on in advanced addictive illness.
This means that in addiction there is always infidelity to other love objects such as spouses and other family - for the very existence of addiction signifies an allegiance that is at best divided and at worst -and more commonly- betrayed. For there comes a stage in every serious addiction at which the paramount attachment of the addict is to the addiction itself. Those unfortunates who attempt to preserve a human relationship to individuals in the throes of progressive addiction almost always sense their own secondary "less than" status in relation to the addiction - and despite the addict's passionate and indignant denials of this reality, they are right: the addict does indeed love his addiction more than he loves them".
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Fiona.....In your last thread, you said that, when you checked on him,,,to see if there was any progress in his thinking...that he was doing even worse......Yet, you say that he is "doing great without you"....which is it?
How do you know that he has forgotten about you? Just because when they had to make a decision between the thing that allows them to make it from day to day...and a loved one....doesn't mean they have forgotten about you....
I imagine that you are not so much worried about his memory....(he doesn't seem to have full blown dementia)….as, you are worried that he was not loyal to the future plans, that you had counted on....
He had to make a decision...because you couldn't/wouldn't live with the alcoholism, any longer.....
Besides, he has the alcohol to take the edge off of any feeling that he may be having....
Whereas you are going it, without the alcohol...so, you are feeling the feelings straight up....(no ice)…
It is something that is known by those who have close contacts with alcoholics who have chosen to get into genuine recovery---they are often overwhelmed by the losses that they have had at the hands of the alcoholism....once they put the bottle down and start really facing their emotions.
How do you know that he has forgotten about you? Just because when they had to make a decision between the thing that allows them to make it from day to day...and a loved one....doesn't mean they have forgotten about you....
I imagine that you are not so much worried about his memory....(he doesn't seem to have full blown dementia)….as, you are worried that he was not loyal to the future plans, that you had counted on....
He had to make a decision...because you couldn't/wouldn't live with the alcoholism, any longer.....
Besides, he has the alcohol to take the edge off of any feeling that he may be having....
Whereas you are going it, without the alcohol...so, you are feeling the feelings straight up....(no ice)…
It is something that is known by those who have close contacts with alcoholics who have chosen to get into genuine recovery---they are often overwhelmed by the losses that they have had at the hands of the alcoholism....once they put the bottle down and start really facing their emotions.
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Their focus on alcohol is like juggling...
If you've ever juggled, your focus is on the ball in the air (the alcohol). It's not that he's forgotten you, you're one of the many balls in his hands, caught under an armpit. But right this minute he cannot see you. He cannot see the love he's losing, his future, his health. All he sees is that one ball.
We have a habit of comparing our relationship with an alcoholic like a healthy, normal relationship. It's not, they don't start the same way (though it may appear that way) and they certainly don't end the same way.
He hasn't chosen alcohol over you. He's chosen alcohol over NO ALCOHOL. (I'm borrowing this from some very wise person on here, it deserves to be repeated) and tattoed on my butt!
My ex tried to get back with me, it was lovely, tears kissing...thought hed been in AA for nearly a year. He'd split with the chick he was seeing. Then he admitted...by text..he was still drinking. I said no farking way...quit...quit...quit...
So he went back to the same chick (probably promised to moderate his drinking or wotever it took to appease the enabler).
He very blatantly chose alcohol over no alcohol. It was heartbreaking. It was like watching him die right before me when he told me. It hurts..it helps to know that its a disease. I actually take a degree of solace in the fact that he's an untreated alcoholic. He's got a mental illness...I mean I'm a drop-dead gorgeous, peroxide blonde with the physique of a marathon runner. I make beautiful babies, surf, climb..write sci-fi and I bloody funny...sometimes.
You'd have to be ****** mental!!!!
We have a habit of comparing our relationship with an alcoholic like a healthy, normal relationship. It's not, they don't start the same way (though it may appear that way) and they certainly don't end the same way.
He hasn't chosen alcohol over you. He's chosen alcohol over NO ALCOHOL. (I'm borrowing this from some very wise person on here, it deserves to be repeated) and tattoed on my butt!
My ex tried to get back with me, it was lovely, tears kissing...thought hed been in AA for nearly a year. He'd split with the chick he was seeing. Then he admitted...by text..he was still drinking. I said no farking way...quit...quit...quit...
So he went back to the same chick (probably promised to moderate his drinking or wotever it took to appease the enabler).
He very blatantly chose alcohol over no alcohol. It was heartbreaking. It was like watching him die right before me when he told me. It hurts..it helps to know that its a disease. I actually take a degree of solace in the fact that he's an untreated alcoholic. He's got a mental illness...I mean I'm a drop-dead gorgeous, peroxide blonde with the physique of a marathon runner. I make beautiful babies, surf, climb..write sci-fi and I bloody funny...sometimes.
You'd have to be ****** mental!!!!
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Milano.....lol.
I think you give a good example of the "decision".
LOl...I hear you...that you would be a great catch for anyone.....except an alcoholic...I mean---how can you compete---can you make all of life's problems go away with one sip?.....can you?
I think you give a good example of the "decision".
LOl...I hear you...that you would be a great catch for anyone.....except an alcoholic...I mean---how can you compete---can you make all of life's problems go away with one sip?.....can you?
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Originally Posted by dandylion 
Milano.....lol.
I think you give a good example of the "decision".
LOl...I hear you...that you would be a great catch for anyone.....except an alcoholic...I mean---how can you compete---can you make all of life's problems go away with one sip?.....can you?
I think you give a good example of the "decision".
LOl...I hear you...that you would be a great catch for anyone.....except an alcoholic...I mean---how can you compete---can you make all of life's problems go away with one sip?.....can you?
Would you rather waste 2020 wondering can you get back/sober up/ your ex or spend 2020 in the arms of a non-addict who is out there right now wishing he could meet somebody just like you?
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it's not that some people (alcoholic or not) don't ENGAGE in relationships, they just don't pound the tent stakes in very far. this is handy when the "evacuation" order comes - which often looks like a partner pulling their covers ON their addiction and no longer being willing to tolerate the behavior. i've heard it referred to as the "hefty bag" rule - be ready to GO with what you can fit in a couple hefty bags and hit da road.
while it SEEMS very, very personal, it is not. it's what they do. it's one of the ways they PROTECT their addiction. from work, friends, family, truth, the police - anything that could possibly interfere. trust me, nothing wrecks a good spinner than having to go to work....in two hours......cuz you been up all night.
a lot of addicts do really TRY to be IN a committed relationship...they aren't THAT defective....it's that....well, relationships are complicated and require commitment and honesty, like all the damn time, and good lord can everybody just shut up and stop bothering me, i just want a damn BEER! it becomes situational...sure i'll play along, unless it no longer CONVENIENT to ME.
while it SEEMS very, very personal, it is not. it's what they do. it's one of the ways they PROTECT their addiction. from work, friends, family, truth, the police - anything that could possibly interfere. trust me, nothing wrecks a good spinner than having to go to work....in two hours......cuz you been up all night.
a lot of addicts do really TRY to be IN a committed relationship...they aren't THAT defective....it's that....well, relationships are complicated and require commitment and honesty, like all the damn time, and good lord can everybody just shut up and stop bothering me, i just want a damn BEER! it becomes situational...sure i'll play along, unless it no longer CONVENIENT to ME.
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Originally Posted by AnvilheadII
it's not that some people (alcoholic or not) don't ENGAGE in relationships, they just don't pound the tent stakes in very far. this is handy when the "evacuation" order comes - which often looks like a partner pulling their covers ON their addiction and no longer being willing to tolerate the behavior. i've heard it referred to as the "hefty bag" rule - be ready to GO with what you can fit in a couple hefty bags and hit da road.
while it SEEMS very, very personal, it is not. it's what they do. it's one of the ways they PROTECT their addiction. from work, friends, family, truth, the police - anything that could possibly interfere. trust me, nothing wrecks a good spinner than having to go to work....in two hours......cuz you been up all night.
a lot of addicts do really TRY to be IN a committed relationship...they aren't THAT defective....it's that....well, relationships are complicated and require commitment and honesty, like all the damn time, and good lord can everybody just shut up and stop bothering me, i just want a damn BEER! it becomes situational...sure i'll play along, unless it no longer CONVENIENT to ME.
while it SEEMS very, very personal, it is not. it's what they do. it's one of the ways they PROTECT their addiction. from work, friends, family, truth, the police - anything that could possibly interfere. trust me, nothing wrecks a good spinner than having to go to work....in two hours......cuz you been up all night.
a lot of addicts do really TRY to be IN a committed relationship...they aren't THAT defective....it's that....well, relationships are complicated and require commitment and honesty, like all the damn time, and good lord can everybody just shut up and stop bothering me, i just want a damn BEER! it becomes situational...sure i'll play along, unless it no longer CONVENIENT to ME.
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So im wondering- do they think about us at all, or are they ready immediately to move on and find the next 'victim' so to speak!?
My husband told me he didn't miss me at all, he didn't even think about me. That was when I first moved out. He told me a few weeks ago he didn't think about anything else. Which is it? I don't know.
He got a new girlfriend pretty quickly and she complained to me and very publicly that she was sick of listening to him go on about me.
She died a few weeks ago. So now who does he think about? Me? Her?
The fact is he doesn't want to think about any of it. That is why he drinks. I saw him yesterday, sitting outside the bar. He gave me a wave with a big, stupid grin on his face. He didn't look like someone that was thinking at all, about anything. To the casual onlooker he's just a guy in a bar having a good time. I know what he's been through in the last year and I also know what he's got coming in the next few months. His life is a total mess.
If I was him I would probably look for some means of escape from my own head too. It's too much to think about and he's doing the only thing he knows to make the thinking stop....... drink
Although it's very hard to accept, I have to let him get on with what he's doing. I think thinking is potentially very dangerous for him just now. I will have to watch and wait till he is ready to think and is in a place where he can ask for the support he needs. Trying to force anything now could cause him harm.
He will either find the inner strength he needs to face his demons or he won't.
I have spent 18 years trying to help him because I wanted to, even though I knew I couldn't help him. Suddenly, I don't even want to help him. And I don't even care if he's thinking about me or not.
The journey of loving an addict is not a short or easy one. But if we allow ourselves, there is a lot to learn on the way.
Wishing you strength Fiona
My husband told me he didn't miss me at all, he didn't even think about me. That was when I first moved out. He told me a few weeks ago he didn't think about anything else. Which is it? I don't know.
He got a new girlfriend pretty quickly and she complained to me and very publicly that she was sick of listening to him go on about me.
She died a few weeks ago. So now who does he think about? Me? Her?
The fact is he doesn't want to think about any of it. That is why he drinks. I saw him yesterday, sitting outside the bar. He gave me a wave with a big, stupid grin on his face. He didn't look like someone that was thinking at all, about anything. To the casual onlooker he's just a guy in a bar having a good time. I know what he's been through in the last year and I also know what he's got coming in the next few months. His life is a total mess.
If I was him I would probably look for some means of escape from my own head too. It's too much to think about and he's doing the only thing he knows to make the thinking stop....... drink
Although it's very hard to accept, I have to let him get on with what he's doing. I think thinking is potentially very dangerous for him just now. I will have to watch and wait till he is ready to think and is in a place where he can ask for the support he needs. Trying to force anything now could cause him harm.
He will either find the inner strength he needs to face his demons or he won't.
I have spent 18 years trying to help him because I wanted to, even though I knew I couldn't help him. Suddenly, I don't even want to help him. And I don't even care if he's thinking about me or not.
The journey of loving an addict is not a short or easy one. But if we allow ourselves, there is a lot to learn on the way.
Wishing you strength Fiona
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[QUOTE=AnvilheadII;7228784]"it's not that some people (alcoholic or not) don't ENGAGE in relationships, they just don't pound the tent stakes in very far. this is handy when the "evacuation" order comes - which often looks like a partner pulling their covers ON their addiction and no longer being willing to tolerate the behavior. i've heard it referred to as the "hefty bag" rule - be ready to GO with what you can fit in a couple hefty bags and hit da road.
while it SEEMS very, very personal, it is not. it's what they do. it's one of the ways they PROTECT their addiction. from work, friends, family, truth, the police - anything that could possibly interfere. trust me, nothing wrecks a good spinner than having to go to work....in two hours......cuz you been up all night. "
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Wow that is so IT! I am wondering tho, it seems like they have this KNOWING deep down that they are not good fit for any relationship. As why would they keep everyone at arms length like that otherwise. It is so mind boggling, as they (at the same time) are trying to work it out with people!?? But its almost as if they are AWARE of the fact that it can never work out to begin with- them being in the place they are in in their head!?
while it SEEMS very, very personal, it is not. it's what they do. it's one of the ways they PROTECT their addiction. from work, friends, family, truth, the police - anything that could possibly interfere. trust me, nothing wrecks a good spinner than having to go to work....in two hours......cuz you been up all night. "
************************************************** *******
Wow that is so IT! I am wondering tho, it seems like they have this KNOWING deep down that they are not good fit for any relationship. As why would they keep everyone at arms length like that otherwise. It is so mind boggling, as they (at the same time) are trying to work it out with people!?? But its almost as if they are AWARE of the fact that it can never work out to begin with- them being in the place they are in in their head!?
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@Dandylion, I said he is doing 'great without ME', not in general, tho...Sadly! He is doing fine in a sense that he doesnt wanna get back together-obviously. But he isnt even close to thinking about getting help, so in that sense, its even WORSE than I though (for like i said, i was hoping in the back of my mind how our separation would prompt him to realise he has an issue). A bit naive of me, I know. Especially because I wasnt there head over heels in love with him and with rose colored glasses alright, but simply trying all that time to figure out whether we can work it out as a mature couple or not. So, once I realised why not (and it took awhile, as he was putting his best face forward for quite some timenalright), I have raised my concerns, and that was pretty much IT and enough for him to give up on us entirely.
Milano58 exactly like you said, we just got caught in the crossfire. I am angry however, for feeling deceived in a way, of course. As I didnt know of his problem, and I didnt consider myeself as being codependent, but I did waste few years now alright (and best years of my life too) trying to figure it all out with him. So it took awhile, especially as I never had anyone with the same issues in my life before, so didnt even know what to expect/what was going on exactly...
Damn, that time wasting lol....But anyway, whats worst, I cant even blame him, as he is affected by it as much as me (and much much more, for that matter)!?
Its so hopeless, its almost like the life is mocking at us all decent people for actually wanting to create a normal life for ourselves. I keep on wondering why did this have to happen in the first place.....
I still hope I can get over it one day (sooner than later) and go back to where I used to be in my life. Although at this point, I feel like it will never be the same again and how something really precious died inside of me with this experience.
Milano58 exactly like you said, we just got caught in the crossfire. I am angry however, for feeling deceived in a way, of course. As I didnt know of his problem, and I didnt consider myeself as being codependent, but I did waste few years now alright (and best years of my life too) trying to figure it all out with him. So it took awhile, especially as I never had anyone with the same issues in my life before, so didnt even know what to expect/what was going on exactly...
Damn, that time wasting lol....But anyway, whats worst, I cant even blame him, as he is affected by it as much as me (and much much more, for that matter)!?
Its so hopeless, its almost like the life is mocking at us all decent people for actually wanting to create a normal life for ourselves. I keep on wondering why did this have to happen in the first place.....
I still hope I can get over it one day (sooner than later) and go back to where I used to be in my life. Although at this point, I feel like it will never be the same again and how something really precious died inside of me with this experience.
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Fiona....sounds like you are having a "glass half empty" train of thought, right now.....
If you look at it from the other perspective....this leaves room for you to have something more precious in your life....after your grieving....
A General Truth----It is quite possible for a person to function beautifully, and independent is some areas of their lives...like work, education, community involvement, hobbies and talents, etc....and, yet, face difficulties in their most intimate relationships....
There is nothing like the demands and responsibilities of an intimate relationship to bring all of our chickens home to roost. It will unearth our fears and insecurities and weaknesses, and secrets.....that we can keep secret from the others in our more distant relationships...and, bring them forward, to the front and present....
We see it all the time. For, example there is nothing like a relationship to cause an alcoholic to nosedive into relapse....or trigger an easy going, pleasant woman to becoming a raging control freak.....
Intimate relationships demand the best of us and the most of us.....
Anyone who doesn't have their stuff together...all of their stuff....is in for a hurting when committing to an intimate relationship....
I know that sounds harsh,,,but, that is the way of life....and, life sure hasn't cut me any breaks, along that line, either...lol.....
If you look at it from the other perspective....this leaves room for you to have something more precious in your life....after your grieving....
A General Truth----It is quite possible for a person to function beautifully, and independent is some areas of their lives...like work, education, community involvement, hobbies and talents, etc....and, yet, face difficulties in their most intimate relationships....
There is nothing like the demands and responsibilities of an intimate relationship to bring all of our chickens home to roost. It will unearth our fears and insecurities and weaknesses, and secrets.....that we can keep secret from the others in our more distant relationships...and, bring them forward, to the front and present....
We see it all the time. For, example there is nothing like a relationship to cause an alcoholic to nosedive into relapse....or trigger an easy going, pleasant woman to becoming a raging control freak.....
Intimate relationships demand the best of us and the most of us.....
Anyone who doesn't have their stuff together...all of their stuff....is in for a hurting when committing to an intimate relationship....
I know that sounds harsh,,,but, that is the way of life....and, life sure hasn't cut me any breaks, along that line, either...lol.....
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Originally Posted by fionamccarthy
I still hope I can get over it one day (sooner than later) and go back to where I used to be in my life. Although at this point, I feel like it will never be the same again and how something really precious died inside of me with this experience.
You asked how he can move on so easily and in addition to what everyone wrote, I'd add that the nature of active alcoholics is to always be looking outside themselves for sustenance. The life is one of an emotional vampire, really, since an active alcoholic is not able to generate emotional vitality on his own for very long. He needs others to constantly feed his emotional needs. This is why it's very important that those of us who love an active alcoholic understand that we need to learn how to better sustain our own vitality. You really do not want to go back to who you were before you knew him. You want to learn from this and become a more self possessed woman with her own agency. All of this isn't about him so much as it's about asking yourself who you want to be.
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Many, many people think they will break up and that will be the point the other person decides to get their act together. It does not happen that way very often.
I always knew that my XAH would move on VERY quickly. To the point I even forewarned my children so they would not be hurt by that.
I explained it in this way. Your father is not an independent person. Some people have a need within themselves to be with someone all the time. They are not OK being on their own. And this is SO true.
In my mind her is what I also meant.
I was mommy to my XAH and took care of everything for him and ran our household completely. There is no way he can be on his own without someone else taking care of him. Sure enough, he got remarried VERY quickly and his current wife runs him and their household. It's just who he is.
I don't take offense to it because some people are just built this way. It does not negate any good they had with you, nor does it even have anything to do with you really.
That is just my two cents.....
I always knew that my XAH would move on VERY quickly. To the point I even forewarned my children so they would not be hurt by that.
I explained it in this way. Your father is not an independent person. Some people have a need within themselves to be with someone all the time. They are not OK being on their own. And this is SO true.
In my mind her is what I also meant.
I was mommy to my XAH and took care of everything for him and ran our household completely. There is no way he can be on his own without someone else taking care of him. Sure enough, he got remarried VERY quickly and his current wife runs him and their household. It's just who he is.
I don't take offense to it because some people are just built this way. It does not negate any good they had with you, nor does it even have anything to do with you really.
That is just my two cents.....
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Dandylion this is not my first longterm relationship, so i was always ready to plunge in completely and be there in both good and bad alright and work for it. So i do know very well what it takes to be in a relationship alright, and a decent one too...
Hopeful thanks, i suppose we can always learn something more about ourselves, even if i do generally believe this only took a lot of my time (mainly) rather than teaching me something crucial about myself. However, what I did learn from it alright is how to protect my own time and energy even more so, and not helping people out simply because they need it.
We are all different, but we do find ourselves here in a similar situation due to someone who is deeply affected by a disease. I suppose no one is to blame in the end, as if we all knew from the start about someone being an alcoholic, we would certainly not go down that path. At least I know for sure I wouldnt.
Thanks everyone for your opinions-it surely adds lot of different perspectives into the picture, and even if I cant relate to everyones story or thoughts about all the issues, I can sure appreciate everyones perspective and thank God this forum exists, as we can let off some steam and feel understood for what we are going through.
Hopeful thanks, i suppose we can always learn something more about ourselves, even if i do generally believe this only took a lot of my time (mainly) rather than teaching me something crucial about myself. However, what I did learn from it alright is how to protect my own time and energy even more so, and not helping people out simply because they need it.
We are all different, but we do find ourselves here in a similar situation due to someone who is deeply affected by a disease. I suppose no one is to blame in the end, as if we all knew from the start about someone being an alcoholic, we would certainly not go down that path. At least I know for sure I wouldnt.
Thanks everyone for your opinions-it surely adds lot of different perspectives into the picture, and even if I cant relate to everyones story or thoughts about all the issues, I can sure appreciate everyones perspective and thank God this forum exists, as we can let off some steam and feel understood for what we are going through.
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and not helping people out simply because they need it.
simply because WE think they NEED it. important distinction. a person can be running what looks to others like a crap life, no ambition, no goals, choice of attire, spending habits, hygiene, substance abuse. but it is still THEIR life. and unless and until THEY decide what they might want to change in their own lives, the rest is just conjecture at best and control at worst.
simply because WE think they NEED it. important distinction. a person can be running what looks to others like a crap life, no ambition, no goals, choice of attire, spending habits, hygiene, substance abuse. but it is still THEIR life. and unless and until THEY decide what they might want to change in their own lives, the rest is just conjecture at best and control at worst.
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Well, they do objectively need help. No one can deny it.
But I definitely get what youre saying, yes. I simply have to give myself more of that energy that I was giving to him so generously, and out of thinking how I dont really need it as i have plenty...But after awhile, makes you wonder...
But I definitely get what youre saying, yes. I simply have to give myself more of that energy that I was giving to him so generously, and out of thinking how I dont really need it as i have plenty...But after awhile, makes you wonder...
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Also, it IS their life indeed. But if someone is in a relationship with you, its your life too. I always loved this saying 'live and let live'. However, when someone touches my privacy, I really take that personally. Huh, that goes that anger again lol. In the last few days, I get the bouts of it...But anyway, this TOO shall pass!
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