pizza67

Dazedandconfus

pizza67

Dazedandconfus

mylifeismine

I have been where you are and it was pure misery.

https://outofthefog.website/what-to-...3/medium-chill

This helped me alot, along with alanon, SR, my higher power,
counseling, and lots of reading and educating myself about
the family disease of alcoholism. There is a great deal of info
on here to help you

You may need to read medium chill a few times to wrap
your brain around it, I did.

AnvilheadII

you might need to start thinking more long term....this situation is devastatingly unhealthy for you and even more so for the children.

he can do whatever he wants.
you don't have to LIVE with it.

do you have family/friends nearby?

LovePeaceSushi

Pizza, how old are your kids?

If you did leave for the evening, would you be afraid of him doing damage to your home or belongings?

trailmix

Abuse affects people differently, this is your reaction, fear. Even when you aren't feeling "regular" fear, your pulse isn't racing, no adrenaline spike etc, you have underlying fear, like being frozen in the spot.

Whenever you "wish" you could do something entirely reasonable (like hop in the car and take the kids for ice cream and then to the park) or all go for a walk and enjoy the summer and feel you can't, alarm bells should be going off in your head.

I know you probably think this isn't really affecting you all that much? You're tough, you can handle this, you can get angry, you can defend yourself.

While I'm sure you can defend yourself, where you are right now is very mentally unhealthy for you.

When you read the stories of other women/men here at SR, stuck in abusive relationships, do you think they were/are all weak willed? No, they are like you, great people attempting to have some kind of normal life. What they got was years of abuse, years of fear, years of someone undermining their self worth little by little.

That's why we celebrate when someone breaks free from it. Not because they left "some alcoholic" or because they finally "got their act together" but because it's so HARD to do. If you hadn't been through years of abuse, do you think you would be sitting there right now? If this was night - 10 - of your relationship (thinking of all you have been through), would you be standing there wondering why you are still standing there?

I bet you would be running for the door.

dandylion

pizza....after reading all of your past threads....It looks to me that you are living in an abusive situation....I know that I have mentioned this to you, before....
Emotional abuse is just as damaging as physical abuse....and the effects are accumulative.....to yourself and the children, as well....

I think that you are fearful of him for a reason...very good reasons.
I suggest that you think of getting more support and help than you are getting....this is to hard to manage just by yourself.....

I suggest that you talk to a worker in the Domestic Violence support system....
You can talk to them completely in confidence...and, you don't have to do anything you don't want to do or are not ready to do...but, they do have resources to help you and are very, very kind and understanding.....this is their work....
I am giving you the following n umber, so that they can put you in touch with your local organization....
I think it is smart to take the help that is available to you....they can provide a variety of help...from counseling to legal advice to financial and housing assistance....and, can provide a safe place to go with the kids, should you need/want it.....
****Don't let the title discourage you...there doesn't have to be actual physical violence going on...there are so many types of abuse...and, I think you do qualify for help....

Domestic Violence HotLine 1-800-799-7233