Letting go
 

The past couple of weeks have been quite harrowing. My father called 911 Thursday before last and had himself admitted to the hospital. His blood alchohol level was 125.00 this time. He was severely dehydrated and sodium was drastically low. They kept him 24 hours. He went home, and caused a big stink in the family because of the things he said and did that night. Fortunately or unfortunately, I lost it completely. Panic attack, angry attack and all. Not very pleased with myself, but not alot I can do to change yesterday, huh? Well, long story short, I began to finally care about me for a change. I "had" to see the Doctor as I had a running panic attack from Friday until Monday. Doctor wasn't real pleased with me either. But, a very big help. He gave me Paxil. I'm hoping that the nausea goes away so that I can continue as it is really helping my disposition. As to my Dad, he decided finally that he did not want to be alone anymore and went to one of our local retirement villages, signed up, and may move in after Wednesday. I refused to help with anything. Said "if this is what you really want...go for it!" He seems real pleased with himself. But, the fact is that I'm real pleased with myself. I have never been able to let go like that before. It feels good for a change. Listening in on all the conversations here has really helped. You are all a blessing to me. Please know that I am saying a prayer for all of my internet al-anon friends everyday! God be with you all.
LOLLY :)

lolly,

I was just thinking of you and wondering how you are. I'm glad you posted.

I have been on prozac for a couple of weeks. The side effects are much better now.

You are really doing well handling the situation with your father. Take care of yourself.


Keep up the good work,

Hugs,

MG

(((((LOLLY))))))))

Just wanted to let you know that I am praying for you and your family...

Of course, I knew this was too good to be true. He called this evening and told me that he was "so damned lonely all day". I said why did he not go to the parade downtown? He claims he forgot. Probably did. He added that although he had not heard from anyone all day that he did go to town this morning and get some beer. I know where that leads.:mad:

Well, unfortunately there is no meeting tonight as usual. 4th of July and all. Won't be one Saturday either. I am going to try to call one of my group. Just need to talk it through. I know I can't change it, can't cure it and didn't cause it. But, dog-one it! I am so disappointed...again. I'm going to go up to my in laws and visit my baby neice. She is such a joy and I could use that smiling face right now.

Know that I pray for you all every night!

Lolly

Hi Lolly

I know the heartache of watching with sadness and disappointment as they continue their journey.

But I also see a strength in you, and know that you will move forward, one baby-step at a time in YOUR recovery.

I too had panic attacks and anxiety attacks on a regular basis. I though my heart would just give out. And I tried medication for a while, but it didn't work well for me (bad side effects). But it helps most so don't misunderstand what I am saying.

For me, as I really worked my program, and learned to live it every day, the attacks lessened and now are fairly rare (and I do have medication that I can take when they are really bad).

But that took me a long long time. And as you continue your recovery, I know that you will find the peace that follows, too.

You are in my prayers.

lolly,

I'm praying for you and your father too. Kids do have a way of brightening up a day.

I hope you enjoy the rest of your day.


Hugs,

MG

I'm sorry...no meeting because of the 4th? I have gone to meetings on CHRISTMAS DAY...that is when we need them the most...isn't it alway the holidays that bring out the best in them? Did you check??

Actually, they post it in the newspaper here. Small town and all. That is really nice of them. It is a community service, so they do not charge for the space. Anyway, I checked again to make sure that I was not wrong. Unfortunately, I was right. However, I made the best of my day today. Spent it caring for my niece and nephew at mother in law's pool. They had a ball, and so did I. Such joy in small people! lol

I hope your day was equally great! And if not, I wish you well for your tomorrow.

Know that I pray for you every night.

Lolly