Small steps
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jul 2018
Posts: 45
Small steps
It isn't much, but it's something. I haven't answered any texts from the ABF in two days. And my ex-husband, who uses me like an ATM asked to borrow money again, which would be around $700 in two months. I said no. I've never done that before. I feel guilty, but I'm tired of teaching people to treat me this way.
I'm doing counseling, reading anything I can get my hands on about healing and boundaries, and watching a wonderful therapist who had things on YouTube about how to deal with things and working to better yourself.
I dream of a day when I'll be happy and at ease with myself, my decisions, and my feelings.
Right now I don't trust those who have been close. I've allowed them to use me or ignore my boundaries for too long. I am grateful for this forum to read and also share, to purge things like this .
Thank you all!
I'm doing counseling, reading anything I can get my hands on about healing and boundaries, and watching a wonderful therapist who had things on YouTube about how to deal with things and working to better yourself.
I dream of a day when I'll be happy and at ease with myself, my decisions, and my feelings.
Right now I don't trust those who have been close. I've allowed them to use me or ignore my boundaries for too long. I am grateful for this forum to read and also share, to purge things like this .
Thank you all!
Member
Join Date: Sep 2017
Location: Southern US
Posts: 510
Congratulations, and good for you!!!!!
I have a feeling the more you do it, the better you will feel. The better you feel, the more you will continue to respect yourself and set boundaries. Small steps can lead to leaps and bounds!
I have a feeling the more you do it, the better you will feel. The better you feel, the more you will continue to respect yourself and set boundaries. Small steps can lead to leaps and bounds!
Member
Join Date: Nov 2016
Posts: 8,637
That's great codependy, really! That's how you start. No, it's not easy, it goes against how you have always been. It is actually easier initially to answer that text or lend that money but you are the one that has to then deal with the repercussions.
You will get better at this in that you won't feel that misplaced guilt (won't that be great).
I'm happy for you.
You will get better at this in that you won't feel that misplaced guilt (won't that be great).
I'm happy for you.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jul 2018
Posts: 45
My ex just told me the reason he is in money trouble is that he was drinking. I don't even know what to say. He was never a drinker when we were together. First my ABF now this. What the Dickens?! So I've been enabling two men. Wow! No more!!!
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