An update and a thank you
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Join Date: Oct 2017
Posts: 497
An update and a thank you
Life has been very busy, so I only get to pop in here and there to read. I find myself coming back when I need some clarify. This morning I had some quiet time and life has been stressful and is going to be for a bit anyway. I read two threads and took away quite a few posts that really helped me during this time and will in the future with knowing I'm going to be ok. A few posts offered good analogies when it comes to boundaries. I thank everyone who shares here. Even during the darkest times in our own lives, we may say something that helps someone else, as well as sharing how we got through them for those who are on the other side.
I despise conflict and avoid it to the point that I end up with the short end of the stick. I've grown more of a backbone lately. It has taken a few years. I'm done walking on eggshells it's exhausting.
We decided last year we were separating but would live together for finances for awhile. It hasn't been easy. I believed that he was well intentioned and still might be, but I'm not willing to take that risk anymore after a series of events recently. This week I will be talking to lawyers. I need to move on and have my life and what I want for me and the kids, not just what he wants. I may or may not have the capacity to fully fight for what I deserve because I don't want to rock the boat, so having a lawyer do it for me and be on my side is just what I need.
i have a few very good things going on in life to be thankful for. One is that I just got a promotion and a splendid review.
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Join Date: Nov 2016
Posts: 8,609
Clover, congratulations on your promotion, that's great news.
I'm glad you are able to get a lawyer. Sometimes it's very much worth it to hire someone to have in our corner. Lots of people don't like confrontation and that's totally understandable.
I'm glad you are able to get a lawyer. Sometimes it's very much worth it to hire someone to have in our corner. Lots of people don't like confrontation and that's totally understandable.
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Join Date: Nov 2017
Posts: 415
Good that you got a lawyer! I finally did the same a couple months ago and she has helped both my AH and I navigate through the divorce. I also put it on my credit card and I don’t regret getting an attorney.
Good luck and congratulations on your promotion! 😁
Good luck and congratulations on your promotion! 😁
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Join Date: May 2010
Location: USA
Posts: 13,560
Clover, congratulations on that review and promotion! Good stuff there!
Ultimately, you will rock the boat. On this forum, so many of us have tried to avoid conflict for so long that we let ourselves be walked on and don't do what is best for ourselves or our children out of fear.
Even when times are hard, recognize that it's not forever. You (or he) will not stay in that frame of mind forever. Do what you have to do and keep marching forward, you can do it!
Ultimately, you will rock the boat. On this forum, so many of us have tried to avoid conflict for so long that we let ourselves be walked on and don't do what is best for ourselves or our children out of fear.
Even when times are hard, recognize that it's not forever. You (or he) will not stay in that frame of mind forever. Do what you have to do and keep marching forward, you can do it!
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Join Date: Oct 2017
Posts: 497
Originally Posted by hopeful4 
Clover, congratulations on that review and promotion! Good stuff there!
Ultimately, you will rock the boat. On this forum, so many of us have tried to avoid conflict for so long that we let ourselves be walked on and don't do what is best for ourselves or our children out of fear.
Even when times are hard, recognize that it's not forever. You (or he) will not stay in that frame of mind forever. Do what you have to do and keep marching forward, you can do it!
Ultimately, you will rock the boat. On this forum, so many of us have tried to avoid conflict for so long that we let ourselves be walked on and don't do what is best for ourselves or our children out of fear.
Even when times are hard, recognize that it's not forever. You (or he) will not stay in that frame of mind forever. Do what you have to do and keep marching forward, you can do it!
yes. Not wanting to rock the boat ends up being like a doormat and living according to someone else's whims.
Thank you! I'm afraid but I'm ok.
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Oct 2017
Posts: 497
Originally Posted by ScaryTime
Good that you got a lawyer! I finally did the same a couple months ago and she has helped both my AH and I navigate through the divorce. I also put it on my credit card and I don’t regret getting an attorney.
Good luck and congratulations on your promotion! 😁
Good luck and congratulations on your promotion! 😁
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