Raindrops, did you find your recovery, feeling better, diminished somewhat when the divorce was actually finalized?
I am just wondering if you feel that was a setback.
You had mentioned you were seeing a therapist but it seemed uncertain whether or not you would be continuing to. What kind of support do you have? Do you attend Al Anon or any other support groups (divorce support etc).
It just seems to me that since you mentioned you believe your exh was a narcissist it can be a really long haul recovering and as with all these types of relationships extra support and tools can be so helpful. People to tell your story to (over and over if required) to learn how they cope.
What do you think is your biggest hurdle in moving on?
I still at times look back and want to call out to him and ask him why didn't it matter to him that I left ?
I believe once he left he just disappeared? Do you really accept that this had exactly nothing to do with you personally? That particular move is all about him. Obviously his behaviour before you asked him for a divorce was less than stellar (I did read some of your prior threads but you don't mention all that went on and that's fine) I'm just wondering if you are missing what you hoped to have rather than what was?