dandylion

Milano......your situation reminded me of this old song....
so. So, I dedicate it to you...

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0x4AZHDT-4A

Milano58

Beautiful song.. Very true. I think I'm long past giving more chances. Active recovery.. Doing Ted talks.. Feeling actual remorse. All the hallmarks of an actual human being..

dandylion

Milano.....I agree, that you are past the one more chance part...and, good for you....

thequest

Ah yes playing the victim and validating their behavior and habits because their drinking friends do it too.

Here he runs out to his pals and acquaintances more likely with alcohol as the preferred beverage to validate his behavior and ideas. Contrived images are work to maintain.

NYCDoglvr

Alanon really turned my thinking around. I grew to see that my reality is my responsibility and no one else's. If I don't like a situation then it's up to me to make a change. I recommend it.

Milano58

Ye.. He used AA to validate how he wasn't that bad cos there was always someone worse than him. Thing is.. If he'd been at AA a couple years ago and met someone who has his exact history today-he still would have used the same form of validation.

A friend once told me that they constantly change their reality to support their narrative.

The clock is ticking for his next episode/incident.
I'm literally waiting for a visit from the police.

Zevin

Ouch, this is hard to read! I'm a double-winner....recovering alcoholic and my spouse drinks a LOT. I consider him to be a functioning alcoholic. Sometimes I focus on what the spouse should be doing rather than working on myself. Staying on my own side of the street.
No advice or words of wisdom, just I'm sorry for your situation.
And the Grey Rock idea has to be one of the best pieces information I've found on this site when dealing with a narcissist/sociopath/generally annoying person.
Good on you for standing strong and not letting him get under your skin. Keep it up!
All the best.