The F Word Lesson - From a Five Year Old
 

I was thinking about the time my kindergartner came home from school and said her friend said the f word but she didn't know what the f word was and asked if I knew what it was. Trying to think quickly, I told her I didn't know what the f word was and asked what else her friend said or did when she said it. So mine said, "Well she wasn't being nice and if I tell you what I think the f word is, will I get in trouble if it's a bad word?" I told her no, since we were trying to get to the bottom of it. She looked around and then whispered in my ear, "Fomungo!"

What I learned that day from a 5 year old: It doesn't matter what we name it. If someone else is using it to mean something bad, it's not good for us and not a friend we want to have around us.

Same thing for alcohol, drugs, verbal abuse, etc.

I would get so caught up in naming or identifying what exactly type of addiction my xah had or identifying his bad behavior and would forget the only thing I could control was if I was willing to surround myself with a friend that wasn't good for me.

I still find myself going back to this lesson when choosing my own friendships and who I allow into my life.

Yes so true! I spent a lot of time googling AH's behaviors, using checklists, and quizzes, etc, to try to diagnose him.... Just another way to try to control the situation, I guess... If I could put a name and a diagnosis to why he does what he does then maybe I could fix it!
But no... just a waste of my time...

Your post also made me think of this: my boys recently have started using the "peace sign" directed at each other...
Ahh, how cute, I thought.... Until they told me that it was their secret code for "shut up".... Ugh, kids