I was encouraged by Amy’s post. I would love to read more success stories even if they are very small wins.

I came to this group a few months ago while searching anywhere for support. I was at my lowest and my AW was at what I thought was her worse. I was wrong. The worse was when she had a withdraw seizure at a out son-in-laws college graduation and I had to rush her to the ER. 4 days in the hospital and she realized that she couldn’t tackle this on her own and it was time for rehab.

So today is day 9 of rehab and it’s her first visitation day. She has been able to write and receive letters and she call me 4 times already!! I was so surprised and excited each time that I broke out into happy tears!

We are both mid 40’s and will be celebrating our 25th anniversary in July. This is longest time apart and our first Memorial Day weekend apart. She encouraged me to keep our annual plans of spending the weekend at the lake with the extended family so I am.

This morning I will be marking the 4 hour drive to her treatment facility to spend 1 1/2 hours with her and I don’t think I have ever been more excited!

My wife sounded so happy each time she called this week. I could hear the smile on her face and the hope in her heart each time she spoke a word. I haven’t been this encouraged in years.

I pray everyone has safe and enjoyable weekend!

Imissmywife: I’ve hoped for an update from you... & can so vividly read your enthusiastic tone. I’m glad you are happy & supportive of her progress... I’m sure she knows just how deeply caring you are as a person & husband.

I was never married - but was deeply in love with an alcoholic. As I mentioned to you prior, we were on a nonstop rollercoaster... she’d drink 24/7, have blackouts... then horrible seizures, detox in the ER/recovery, sober up... then start drinking again after 2-3 weeks. It happened again, and again. Yet she (& I) were so hopeful & enthusiastic about her getting/staying sober. I was her head cheerleader!

But for my XAGF, her sobriety consistently failed (in my opinion) because she 1- never set up the correct “support system” for herself post detox/recovery (AA, daily meetings, therapy, doctor appointments, sponsor & other avenues of support) 2- never dealt with or sought out therapy & medications to treat the underlying issues that helped trigger her addiction & constant relapsing: anxiety, possible bipolar tendencies, narcissistic thinking, depression). 3- always promised to attend couples therapy but wouldn’t stay sober long enough to find a therapist & then go with me.

I’ve learned so much from others on this forum...

imissmywife: I say all this not to discourage you... as I’d be a cheerleader for you, your wife & any couple fighting to stay together! I sincerely hope she remains sober but I did want to share my story.

The key is: she needs to set all that support up for herself, on her own... without you & without your help. She’ll hopefully make a solid game plan for herself once she’s released. Sadly my ex just couldn’t get to that point, although she “mentally” tried... said all the right words to herself, her family, me... was so beautiful in her sobriety... promised to the point that I so badly believed over & over. I’m learning the path to sobriety is such a very long process.

Hoping for the very best outcome! All you can do is live in the moment & cherish sober moments with your wife.

Not to side track... but I’ll never ever forget those days when my ex was sober... her eyes were so bright, so clear... her smile & glowing skin would take my breath away. The way she held my hand without shaking. Dancing with her in the hospital room would (& still does) bring tears to my eyes.

I still look back and am deeply thankful for those moments. I don’t regret them. For I loved her & those moments of sobriety. I still don’t regret wanting the very best for someone I loved.

All the best, my friend! Hang in there & keep us posted.

I visited my AW for a couples therapy meeting 2 days ago and me and my 19 year old visited her today at the rehab facility.

So far she seems to be doing great. We both realize that she is in full blown rehab mode and moving very fast but we are both encouraged and positive about the outcome so far and the future.

Thanks for your prayers