I wish we had a sub section here for recovery stories
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I wish we had a sub section here for recovery stories
I think that would be interesting read for newcomers to this section. I know I post here sporadically, and sometimes it might be hard for newcomers to see where I am coming from and others are coming from. I don't know, just an idea that I had today.
amy
amy
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I do know that, and I've been there and read the stories, what I was thinking about here was recovery from co dependency, about leaving an abusive relationship and how things turned out. About learning coping skills that you never had, about learning that we most likely thought we control outcomes of things, but that the only thing that we can control is ourselves.
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amy
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amy
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I just thought that there are so many different people here, so many different circumstances, that to hear real life time stories of peoples lives instead of snippets of it in a post, or not to even know what the person has gone through and why they got the response they did, I think that would help newcomers out.
I was thinking about this because I am a triple winner. I am an alcoholic, my father was an alcoholic, my ex is an alcoholic, I tended to go towards abusive relationships.
I think many people here have a lot to say, but they can't say all they want sometimes to reply to someone. It would be a place to say how you recovered from the obstacles that you had in your life, and how you turned things around so that you now had a better life, coping skills, and how you went about doing it.
(((((((((hugs))))))))
amy
I was thinking about this because I am a triple winner. I am an alcoholic, my father was an alcoholic, my ex is an alcoholic, I tended to go towards abusive relationships.
I think many people here have a lot to say, but they can't say all they want sometimes to reply to someone. It would be a place to say how you recovered from the obstacles that you had in your life, and how you turned things around so that you now had a better life, coping skills, and how you went about doing it.
(((((((((hugs))))))))
amy
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In the other forum there are guidelines to follow before posting. They are required to have a year of recovery before posting.
Our recovery isn't black and white like that and can even go in opposite directions. What guidelines would family members have before posting their recovery story?
Our recovery isn't black and white like that and can even go in opposite directions. What guidelines would family members have before posting their recovery story?
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Originally Posted by Morning Glory 
In the other forum there are guidelines to follow before posting. They are required to have a year of recovery before posting.
Our recovery isn't black and white like that and can even go in opposite directions. What guidelines would family members have before posting their recovery story?
Our recovery isn't black and white like that and can even go in opposite directions. What guidelines would family members have before posting their recovery story?
That's a really good question? I would need to ponder this more. I know in this section that we can move on and again get into the same situation, only that it looks or feels different to us this time. I also know that as a codie even though I got out of my relationship and changed my life for the better, that at times I can still go back to that codie that is inside of me. Our stories really never finish. I think many people (well me, especially) comes here to remember that the only person I can control is myself.
I remember when I lied constantly. Sometimes it had to do with my drinking, sometimes it had to do with my relationship, but most of the time I was lying to people who tried to help me, because I wanted them to feel better about themselves even though I was in the same situation, and nothing was getting better for me. I don't lie anymore when seeking help. I found that didn't do anything for me.
So even though I am in a better place, I can't say that I am all OK. I still come here when things upset me. I still need to people to bounce things off of.
So truthfully, I still do things wrong. I question the things that I do, but I will never be perfect. I don't strive for perfection anymore, I only strive to be happy. (former perfectionist here)
I thought maybe like an introduction sub forum so that people would know the story of the person that was replying to them. So, it wouldn't be a recovery sub section.
I know people can click on my name and read my back story, but I also know that I posted a lot and it's hard to find my story.
I can also see negatives in that now. Once I started to really think about this newcomers can read my story and think that I am an expert at something because I lived through it, but I'm not, I'm just someone who is still learning copings skills and making my way through life.
So thinking about this at the same time as writing my reply, perhaps it's not a good idea, because it may come across as a resume and why you should trust me. I can never assume that the things that I did or what I did would be the same thing that someone else needs for their own self improvement. I can only reply to other people about my experiences and if it resonates with them, then that just keeps them here reading and hearing others, then deciding for themselves what is the best way for them to go forward.
amy
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We all need hope. Recovery stories are a positive thing.
My husband has been in recovery for over 5 years. I just feel like I can see him for who he is and that I have someone who I can actually love. Like I really just love him for who he is. I have never loved the alcoholism because it destroyed so much in our life-his jobs, his money situation and debt, the trust in our marriage, the ability to be a good father. But ya know, he has kept a job now, his financial situation is better, he is an amazing father and makes me look like I am standing still with his ability to have fun with his kids and take care of his kids and get his kids to school and back home. His life before --like he totaled both cars that he was driving and got two DUIs. He had to really hit rock bottom a lot of times before he made a change that worked. He has a new car that he got that he is really proud of--he has to breathe into the machine--my kids have never questioned it--but I am glad it is there--and there is like one of those lock brakes things on the car if he is about to hit something--perfect for him after totaling two cars. We are so lucky that he did not hurt someone else or hurt himself in the accidents. We were so lucky that he did not go to jail. He only spent one night in jail and he had to wear the thing on his ankle to stay home and have anything else approved--he got to be a dad to his kids. And I got to the mom who just could just say that "Daddy got a time out." (that was the only way I could say it like we were on Sesame Street). But we got through that. My kids are older now. They have their dad completely. My kids love their dad and I love their dad with all of my heart. My kids are the best thing that I have ever done in my life.
My husband has been in recovery for over 5 years. I just feel like I can see him for who he is and that I have someone who I can actually love. Like I really just love him for who he is. I have never loved the alcoholism because it destroyed so much in our life-his jobs, his money situation and debt, the trust in our marriage, the ability to be a good father. But ya know, he has kept a job now, his financial situation is better, he is an amazing father and makes me look like I am standing still with his ability to have fun with his kids and take care of his kids and get his kids to school and back home. His life before --like he totaled both cars that he was driving and got two DUIs. He had to really hit rock bottom a lot of times before he made a change that worked. He has a new car that he got that he is really proud of--he has to breathe into the machine--my kids have never questioned it--but I am glad it is there--and there is like one of those lock brakes things on the car if he is about to hit something--perfect for him after totaling two cars. We are so lucky that he did not hurt someone else or hurt himself in the accidents. We were so lucky that he did not go to jail. He only spent one night in jail and he had to wear the thing on his ankle to stay home and have anything else approved--he got to be a dad to his kids. And I got to the mom who just could just say that "Daddy got a time out." (that was the only way I could say it like we were on Sesame Street). But we got through that. My kids are older now. They have their dad completely. My kids love their dad and I love their dad with all of my heart. My kids are the best thing that I have ever done in my life.
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I was looking for something similar to be honest-i've gone from being a blubbering self-pitying drunk to a semi-normal (lol) person now-I've learned a few tricks over the last 2 years and it'd be good to have a section where you CAN throw your ideas in and at the end of the day-if it only helps ONE person quit then it's worth the time it'll take to set it up.
+1 on the idea .
+1 on the idea .
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Originally Posted by Morning Glory
In the other forum there are guidelines to follow before posting. They are required to have a year of recovery before posting.
Our recovery isn't black and white like that and can even go in opposite directions. What guidelines would family members have before posting their recovery story?
Our recovery isn't black and white like that and can even go in opposite directions. What guidelines would family members have before posting their recovery story?
Usually the only "success stories" being looked for are of the last type I mentioned above, and I reflexively bristle at the idea that only this type of story is considered "success." I know that that's not the intent of those who start these threads--usually the thread starters are relatively new to recovery and this is the only form of "success" that they can imagine, at this point. However, for most of us here at SR, that type of "success" never happens.
I believe my own "success" or "failure" depends on my own efforts. Since I can't in any way force my qualifier to get sober, become the person I want him to be, make amends to me in the way I'd want them made, and then choose to stay with me, that kind of "success" depends on way too many factors that are completely out of my control. Thus I, and many others here, have had to learn to define "success" in far different terms.
Try these 9 threads for a broader view of what success looks like:
https://www.soberrecovery.com/forums...s-stories.html (Are there success stories?)
https://www.soberrecovery.com/forums...s-stories.html (Success Stories)
https://www.soberrecovery.com/forums...s-stories.html (success stories?)
https://www.soberrecovery.com/forums...s-stories.html (Feeling hopeless, looking for success stories!)
https://www.soberrecovery.com/forums...epressing.html (Success stories seem few and far between- depressing)
https://www.soberrecovery.com/forums...s-stories.html (Wanting to hear some success stories)
https://www.soberrecovery.com/forums...s-stories.html (Success stories?)
https://www.soberrecovery.com/forums...s-stories.html (Success stories?)
https://www.soberrecovery.com/forums...s-stories.html (Success Stories)
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