discovered last night that my AH is seeing someone. Boy was that ever a blow! I couldn’t stop crying...
I am in the process of moving out, filed for divorce in February and very excited to move into my new house, ready to move on.
I knew this part was going to be emotional but it’s like I just want to burst into tears! It’s driving me crazy!
Mira like I am going through all of the things I went through a long time ago... thinking about all the good times and all the good things about him. Probably because I am hurt that he has moved on already, we are not even divorced yet and still I lost even more respect for him because of this.
i am not letting up. I decided to move out this weekend. My place is painted with new carpet and so I booked the movers for tomorrow. And he is being oh so accommodating. Ugh!

good point! I am so hurt but also somewhat relieved! I shift back and forth so much that I feel like I am losing my mind.

The man I fell in love with who turned out to be an alcoholic has “moved on” 2 months after breaking up with me (for the third time - after he admitted how advanced his drinking was and then rehabbing on his own). And I was supposedly the love of his life...
i am still trying to understand what really happened. To me it is unthinkable to start seeing someone else so quickly after a relationship like ours. It was so intense and the love between us seemed to pure and so real.
I hurt so much when I think about how he is with her... probably just the same as he was with me. Turns out It wasn’t special, it wasn’t even real. Except that for me it was. God I love him so much despite all his assholeness. Despite all the suffering he has caused me.
To read that I’m not alone in my experience is of great help. To read that it is an alcoholic “thing” to just jump from one relationship to another for that kick of dopamine makes a lot of sense. But do they realise it? That it isn’t real?

I still think of how good we would be together, I still tend to forget that all his actions are controlled or influenced by addiction and the changes in his brain.
I wonder sometimes... aren't those moments of happiness with them worth all the suffering?

I am sorry you have to go through this. He is just about to make another person unhappy.
:-(

My exah moved on 3 months after I left our home. He started dating his secretary and proudly admitted it during our divorce trial. If they had such insight into consequences , empathy or respect for relationships , they would not be drunk heads. I was shattered. I still remember the days of screaming into my pillow and the pain was the same or more than the pain I felt the day I left the house. Healing takes time and active work. 2 years on and I am still healing . My own rose colored glasses took time to come off. My own dopamine took time to fade off . I for the first time in my life had put myself first. I for the first time was standing up for myself . That change was painful .

Thank you for the comments! They have all helped.
I get sent out of town quite often and he takes the dogs while I am away. I would very much like to go no contact with him, but the doggies are stopping that from happening.
I texted him today and always feel stupid after I do because I didn’t HAVE to reach out to him. He didn’t need to know what I told him. I just don’t understand how he can be so aloof and such. The woman he was seeing apparently “played him like a fiddle” and was after money... just the fact that he is playing I don’t get. I cannot imagine seeing anyone right now I feel damaged and don’t feel ready to date at this point. He isn’t going to change I know that but it still hurts.
It just hurts sometimes more often than others. I know I did the right thing and actually took my doggies up to my camper yesterday and we spent the night up there. It was really fun and nice. And then I get back to my house where I have made a nice home for my babes (doggies) and I and I still reached out to him! Ugh, what the heck is wrong with me!?!?

Good suggestions that I put into use about this Sunday... I was asking him what time I could bring the dogs out and he didn’t know, “what time do you want to bring them out?” Always a question in answer if a question. So I just sent him a msg saying I will bring them out after I feed them. He said but his daughter is having dinner at 5. So I said I will just bring them out and if he isn’t there so be it.

you are right
i am still holding on aren’t I ☹️
I would have to figure out something and yes there are other options at this point
my brother is back in town and I bet he would love to stay st the house and get away from my mother for a bit

So I talked to my brother and he said he will stay with my babes for next week!
So i am going to call or text my soon to be XAH tomorrow and let him know that my brother is going to stay with them... hopefully that goes ok...

ST, really good... definitely such a positive step... finding new solutions to previous forms of CD attachment will start to become such an impactful force for you. Dogs are strong emotional attachments we have so it’s important that they no longer involve being with him or dropped off based on his schedule. You are taking the control back. I had 4 dogs with my ex and they were often used as a form of control and manipulation in various degrees. Once I found alternative options and boarding care for them — she could no longer use them to control me. Point being, take the power back! Step forward...