Codependy76

I believe I have put together that my now AHXB has been gambling and probably has that addiction too. This is enforcing my need to stay away, but I'm just wondering if this is a pattern with others or has anyone else found out later or during about more addictions?

SparkleKitty

Yes, I did, but I tried not to give it too much thought post-breakup. One addiction he didn't want to do anything about, or three, the relationship was unhealthy either way.

velma929

My late husband was looking at kiddie porn. He tried to explain it away by saying "I'm not breaking the laws of this state..." There are sites where people can download pictures of children (what I happened to see were screenshots from tv shows) and they can spend hours photo-shopping them into something else.

I've long since pitched the article, but an obsession with porn and more and more perverse forms of it, often go hand-in-hand with alcoholism.

Seren

My stepson is primarily an alcoholic, but he has used crack, and we learned last year that he has used Heroin...smh. I don't know if he ever has gambled or not. I don't think multiple addictions are that uncommon, though.

Wombaticus

Codependy76, i am sooooo glad you asked this question. Yes!! Computer/internet/phone use - and i can only imagine what is being looked at (dont want to know), obsessive exercise.

Sasha1972

Yes - in my experience the others were food and hoarding (and hoarding food). I think there must be some quirk in the hardwiring that means some people develop dependencies very rapidly on external activities or substances that once produced pleasure or escape. The "enough" switch is missing, or maybe it's the inability to think "I will be okay even if I don't drink/watch porn/hoard things/gamble".

Trinity7777

Unfortunately yes Cocaine, gambling, and I suspect others. I think people who are prone to addictions are prone to them across the board. My ABF is also obsessed with work and with having constant attention.

PeacefulWater12

In my experience, it is common to have several different addictions. Often when one is given up, another takes it place.

I am a recovering A as well as OA person and a whole selection of other addictions and addictive behaviours.

It is hard work to keep them all dormant.

tomsteve

i was addicted to anything that i falsely believed helped me feel good. didnt have to be substances that went into my body,too.

thequest

Absolutely. Many alcoholics and addicts are creatures of habit. They can't or don't want to change their life.

Here it's gambling, sports drinks, some party drugs, the gym and lifestyle. It's a ritual or routine they don't want to change to their own detriment most times. Getting sober isn't always about wanting to detox or lucidity. It's about change, change is tough and alot of addicts don't want to change period.

They've also been doing what they've been doing for so long they can't even picture another way. Especially the adults who've been doing drugs their entire adult life. There is little or no vice free life to return to, no frame of reference.

Besides alcohol here it's the gym, clothes, restaurants, bars etc. It's about going out. He considers himself a player, hipster, man about town what ever you want to call it. Some alcoholics and addict scam and spend all the money they can on their chemical of choice. Here trying to maintain lifestyle has caused as many issues as the alcohol where as a hardcore drug addict spends away all monies on chemicals.

Those that have fully detached or taken action, set boundaries, stopped enabling etc have made changes. Something that most addicts do not want to do-change.

Codependy76

[QUOTE][Especially the adults who've been doing drugs their entire adult life. There is little or no vice free life to return to, no frame of reference. QUOTE]

That is an excellent point, one which I hadn't considered. What most would consider feeling nirnanis abnormal and probably uncomfortable to sonesoe who has been an active addict his/her entire adult life. That, I'm sure, makes the choice to recover even harder, it feels wrong. Thank you for that insight.

FallenAngelina

One comment that helped put me over the edge to part from my AXBF was that he was home sober alone one night and texted that he didn't know what to do with himself. He felt adrift in uncharted waters. I realized that being in an altered state much of the time was his new normal, a big change from when I'd met him three years prior and already had been drinking for much of his life. That he now felt awkward being sober was one (of many) slaps that I needed to realize that it would be an incredibly long haul to anything resembling a normal relationship, if he even did make the choice to change to begin with.