sam1

Another update for all you wonderful supportive people. I've dated a few people....cant tolerate much drama ....if I see red flags I'm out without a second thought. So now that my ex is actively participating in aa and has a sponsor I'm learning of mind blowing details. She is living with her parents yet still maintaining a job and 50 percent custody. Last year she blew a 0.4 when she entered detox....two stints in the hospital....has had many relapses over the past year. Mom is actively giving her breathylyzers on a daily basis. Father drops our child off at daycare 98% of the time over the past 3 months. She recently dated someone from aa and that became abusive . She now has an injunction for threats and stalking against this individual. Our child only mentioned this person once about a year ago....I investigated and warned court action if he was every around this individual again.
The family is making attempts to reconnected with me.....are very friendly at sports outings....even invite me to family holidays. The problem is.....they have not shared any of these details with me......I seem to find them out on my own.

It's crazy how they portray the "everything is allright picture". They were my family at one point....she was my caring wife at one point but this is not normal one bit.

At what point is enough, enough.

If I intervene at this point I become the aggressor. I dont beleive anything of this information is enough to obtain modification. The family is sheltering her and providing a safe haven to cover everything up.

Any thoughts would be helpful.

As for the disease of alcoholism......man oh man do the lies and manipulation run deep. Im thankful I'm not the one administering breath tests on a daily basis. Insanity

AnvilheadII

you had similar concerns back in 2017 when she had 50/50 custody and said "they" were afraid you would file for full custody. yet that didn't happen? and now 2 years later, same deal. if you still have concerns about the welfare of your child in her care or theirs, then by all means file. you aren't in this to win popularity contests with your ex-in-laws.

can you document anything or is it all based on heresay? are there any concerns being mentioned by school counselors, daycare providers? any police activity at the home?

she never was stable and how she got 50/50 custody is confounding.

tomsteve

At what point is enough, enough.
when you decide it is.

sam1

Unfortunately all I can document is hear say and text messages. I'm sure I could pull medical records etc but my lawyer told me that's not always easy to obtain with HIPAA laws. I have copies of the police reports and threats this guy made towards her. Trust me I fret over safety all the time.
I'm not concerned about the family and our child. They are good.codependant people. Its directly with her drinking and driving and his exposure to dangerous people. I do believe the family is doing their best to curve any danger possible.

Mango212

When enough becomes enough:



Powerful prayer. As I let go of what I can't do and find the wisdom and courage to do the things I can, my life changes.