Blueskies18

dandylion

BlueSkies…...I found it interesting that the points that the writer made.....are all elements that are built into AA.....(the powerful social aspects of AA_....
they were, as follows:
Fostering social connection, rather than force isolation
Practicing acceptance, rather than intolerance
Fan self worth rather than fuel shame
Love rather than distain

AnvilheadII

and nowhere in the AA literature does it ever state that someone else must FORCE an addict to HIT rock bottom. bottom was considered a point of spiritual void and utter helplessness, a drowning man grasping the life preserver. nowhere does it say the we should throw them INTO the ocean to make that happen. it was always considered a purely personal experience for each alcoholic.

dandylion

^^^^^^Yes!

trailmix

What is not addressed in the article is the reluctance by the addict (in many cases) to seek that help, or accept that help and that's what we talk about a lot here.

Now if they are saying that society should provide these basics, well of course we should (and where I live we do), but again, the person has to seek the help.

I guess I have more of a - can't control it - mindset. We are no more powerful in creating some proverbial (made up) rock bottom than we are able to force someone to take the help and caring depicted in the pyramid.

Glenjo99

For me I see this as fanning self worth it ourselves first and foremost and then in the addict where possible.

I suppose what came up for me when reading was the whole codependency thing and that someone reading those ways of relating to addicts would get confused with how they might 'help' the addict by fanning their self worth, connectedness etc whilst at the same time with some detaching with love is necessary.

So as in all things in life, the premise of the article I totally agree with, but cannot be generalised. Some addicts require that some people in their lives detach and often withdraw themselves from their abusive or active addiction behaviours.

FallenAngelina

I've never known anyone to be able to force and alcoholic to do anything, let alone force the mythological rock bottom upon them.

The very concept of rock bottom is a faulty premise. There is no such place - only a day on which an alcoholic decides to make different choices - and then again on the next day and the next. There's no rock bottom to hit because things can always get worse. Furthermore, many alcoholics choose to embrace recovery without having lost everything, without facing that sense of "it can't get any worse." Recovery is chosen by the alcoholic because the alcoholic is ready to choose it, no matter how things appear to onlookers. There's no forcing recovery and there's no denying it when the alcoholic is ready to make that commitment.

hopeful4

Amen! Well said!

Saltlamp

Just read this thing from AA about "rock bottom" that made sense to me.

https://www.aa.org/assets/en_US/en_step1.pdf

hopeful4

Wow. This left me feeling that if I was an addict I may feel too intimidated to even try. I believe what I read though.

I believe that addiction ebbs and flows, some days better, some days worse, until it becomes so out of control that there are no more good days. For some that means managing. For others it means death. Either way, no matter what it means, it is devastating on the families and friends who love that person, no getting around that.