dawnrising

I don't know why I continue to be surprised, I must be a glutton for punishment! Another day, another nasty gram, another contempt of court, throw in a dash of fraud, lies, and manipulation. I gotta say AH is creative. The manic behavior is astounding to me. I think he actually believes that everyone around him is believing his b.s. I assure you they are not. Its all just so sad, this man is seriously mentally and physically ill and that means he can't possible be a healthy father for our children. I knew that had been the case over the last few years but this silly fool(me) is always hopeful. I had hoped he might get to walk our DD down the aisle eventually and hopeful me just can't see that ever happening, maybe this is acceptance I don't know. Our DS continues to struggle and feel incredibly pressured by the suffocating control that AH is forcing on him. The codependent dysfunction is at an all time high and if DS continues to participate in it I fear he will repeat the cycle well after AH is gone. AH is going to die of this disease and the memories our children will have of him are bitter, angry, unhealthy and just a shell to be honest. It's all so crazy and ridiculous, it feels as if I'm starring in a really awful lifetime movie, that is so off the curve you're embarrassed to admit you have seen it. This is my life, but so very grateful to be living in my own peaceful environment far away from the chaos tornado. One of my friends says every time I mention what has been going on she envisions the Tasmanian devil spinning himself into a hole in the ground, I gotta say that seems accurate. It does help to see the visual and the cartoon character reminds me just how ridiculous it all is. Looking forward to a lovely trip in a few days so I will escape the dust cloud soon.

hopeful4

Ugh. I am sorry it continues, but not surprised. I know you are not either.

The only thing you can do is be there for your children, and pray. And continue to be the best you that you can be, you deserve that!

Big hugs!

Bekindalways

I'm so happy you have some peace Dawn and so very sad for your kids.

May battalions of angels bombard your family.

dawnrising

Yes not surprised by more drama just surprised by the lengths taken. Its like because he can't seem to control himself he is trying to control everyone and everything around him. The toddler like temper tantrums are off the charts. It's insane. The attorneys have filed contempt charges against him and he still doesn't get it. When a judge orders you to do something you do it. I have all his emails forwarded to the attorneys so I wouldn't have to deal with him and he's throwing a tantrum about that as well. Its so petty and insane. Just looking forward to these shenanigans being over. I wonder if this is the codependent part of him that is feeding off of communication with me? It's so unhealthy. I actually remember when I was going no contact the first couple of times and how I missed the interaction - I can see how sick that was as a spectator now and so grateful that my life is quite full beyond that now. Just sad.

FireSprite

Oh Dawn,

It sounds to me like he just can't stand to see you "win" in this in any way..... I had to lol at the Tasmanian Devil imagery because I've used that as a metaphor for years to describe how my husband acted . It felt like the more I practiced & managed detachment, the more insane it made him.

He had to either feed the negative drama on his own or choose to interact in a more sane manner. (not happening without recovery) When I refused to be baited into an argument, he ran himself in circles until he was exhausted, just like the cartoon character - explosive energy going nowhere - sucking all the air out of the room, shouting in half-sentences & growling & sneering every step of the way. Basically, everything he was feeling internally manifesting physically.

Hang in there dawn, this cannot last forever!!

dawnrising

OMG all of this!!! I seriously think he's gone completely off the rails or is having a stroke! I am still receiving "nasty grams" and then cooperative behavior within hours of each other. I seriously worry about my kiddos being around this nonsense. I have now put him on block as of just a few minutes ago so I can enjoy the rest of my vacation. (I have only communicated in writing for almost a year now because of the crazy mood swings, which are now coming across in writing- everything and I mean everything goes to the attorney's now.) Whatever is going to happen will happen and I can simply explain too the court if he screws up our home sale, he's already going for contempt anyway might as well add to the list. I am so close to being out I can't even tell you. Never ever getting back on that chaos crazy train.

Mango212

Never ever getting back on that chaos crazy train.



Hi dawnrising, this deserves great accolades also! The whole freedom-giving recovery.

Maudcat

Tasmanian devil.
Perfect!
Stealing it!

hopeful4

While my XAH has gotten better about it (he learned b/c I told him I would not engage with him at all and I did not. I learned to completely ignore his nasty grams), he still throws one in every now and then. He does the same thing. Hours later he will act like it did not even happen and expect us to "coparent."

Ha, as if. He has never been a parent. I am a single parent, and I have completely accepted that and my children have as well.

I always have to wonder what is going on in their minds to say the things they do and think they can actually control any situation when they cannot control themselves.

Sending big hugs always!