the "if" factor
Life is good
Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2018
Posts: 4,036
the "if" factor
If is a simple and complex, powerful word.
I can act "as if" I am brave, enthusiastic, etc. and find the action supports the actual feelings. This is beneficial. A good, supportive life nutrient. ❤️
Looking at it in another way, it can be used as an attempt to manipulate or control.
One definition:
If - (introducing a conditional clause) on the condition or supposition that; in the event that.
Healthy relationships have rules of honesty, trust and compromise. In the havoc of alcoholism/dysfunction these are often broken, disregarded or become twisted. There can be amazing healing as one person finds new actions and ways of responding. This healing creates strength, awareness and allows protection from future damage from this and other relationships. "If" in a broken relationship can be a threat or control attempt. "If" can also be a very useful tool for self-awareness. As in, "if my home is unsafe, I will ____."
Perhaps that's "leave". Maybe "call a DV support center". Maybe it's layers of smaller steps to support big changes and leaps of faith.
One day at a time. Word play can simply give me a pause to consider letters, words, deeper meanings, other people's viewpoints and/or opening up to a 'okay-ness" of curiosity, 'not knowing' and exploration of new ideas.
I can act "as if" I am brave, enthusiastic, etc. and find the action supports the actual feelings. This is beneficial. A good, supportive life nutrient. ❤️
Looking at it in another way, it can be used as an attempt to manipulate or control.
One definition:
If - (introducing a conditional clause) on the condition or supposition that; in the event that.
Healthy relationships have rules of honesty, trust and compromise. In the havoc of alcoholism/dysfunction these are often broken, disregarded or become twisted. There can be amazing healing as one person finds new actions and ways of responding. This healing creates strength, awareness and allows protection from future damage from this and other relationships. "If" in a broken relationship can be a threat or control attempt. "If" can also be a very useful tool for self-awareness. As in, "if my home is unsafe, I will ____."
Perhaps that's "leave". Maybe "call a DV support center". Maybe it's layers of smaller steps to support big changes and leaps of faith.
One day at a time. Word play can simply give me a pause to consider letters, words, deeper meanings, other people's viewpoints and/or opening up to a 'okay-ness" of curiosity, 'not knowing' and exploration of new ideas.
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