Anyone suffer bizarre out of the blue anxiety after dating an alcoholic? Like scary anxiety - SoberRecovery : Alcoholism Drug Addiction Help and Information
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Old 03-16-2019, 09:35 PM   #1 (permalink)
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Anyone suffer bizarre out of the blue anxiety after dating an alcoholic? Like scary anxiety



I don't expect everyone to respond or forgive me and I won't be over posting like a bat out of hell. The only thing I can do is apologize and hope people understand I am aware they were in worse situations and I take accountability for being selfish, vulnerable, weak, and rude as it felt like I was the only person in the world going through this.

Living in the ocean state and moving to Mass I was surrounded by huge bridges. Several times while I was driving over a huge scary bridge he would get bad with verbal and I thought it would escalate to domestic. One time we left a cookout where in his mind I wanted his cousin. I did not but the ride home which was very long I HEARD IT it got so bad he punched my dashboard going over a bridge.

I now have phobia of bridges it's bad there are beaches everywhere out here I'm petrified of going over. I tried one as I had no choice my foot started shaking on the pedal and hand on steering wheel. I called 911 and begged the police to come keep me safe but they could not the officer did get me over and helped me deep breathe and was like you can do it.

I'm afraid to do it just yet without working with a therapist, Celebrate Recovery, and exercise. It's embarassing I feel disabled I get job opportunities in a town that has the Sky Bridge it is frightening. It is in the sky seriously. I know 5 minutes at a time and exposure therapy will help. I have tackled like 3 bridges out here but they are flat with water on the side. Highways I'm fine, back streets, but a bridge I relive those scary moments and I'm afraid I'll lose control of my vehicle. Do I want to do that? No, absolutely not as I could hurt myself or someone else. I was the go-to-girl to drive long distances and go over bridges about 2 years now it's frightening and I feel like a failure. My mom said this happened to her later in life and a therapist helped her conquer it. Maybe it's genetics but I don't think so. I don't be;ieve an anxiety med or benzo would help. If you are deathly afraid I don't think any med would help talking it out would. On top of that benzos are addictive so being on them for a bridge doesn't seem sensible. Anybody experience this high panic or fear of heights or some strange anxiety you think could have resulted from a toxic relationship?

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Old 03-17-2019, 09:41 AM   #2 (permalink)
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Hello hiall,

Welcome back! We tend not to shoot our wounded around here.

Yes, I know that I have certain anxious feelings when something reminds me of my stepson at his worst. I've read others express being diagnosed with PTSD after living with an active alcoholic or addict--it isn't uncommon, unfortunately.

I'm so happy you have reached out IRL to get the support and help you need. Allow yourself to heal and learn and grow!
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Old 03-17-2019, 10:25 AM   #3 (permalink)
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Hiall…...I have a couple of phobias...and, one or two that I came to grips with...
I don't happen to have one , specifically, from a "toxic relationship".
Yes, I think a phobia can result from a specific experience.....But, I would like to say that phobias and other anxiety disorders are the most common conditions on the globe...actually, even more common than depression...(who knew?)….
The best news is that it is highly treatable....IF, treated by those who are skilled and know what they are doing...
My best suggestion would be to consult a therapist who specializes in treating anxiety disorders and has experience in doin.g so.
It is best to trust the skilled and experienced therapists, rather than go with pre-conceived ideas. Work with the therapists.
A rule of thumb is...the sooner anxiety disorders are treated,,,the better, and easier it is. Over time, a person with a specific fear may get into the trap of avoiding ….because they actually become fearful of the fear itself....
Don't let that happen...see an expert...
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Old 03-17-2019, 11:42 AM   #4 (permalink)
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Thank you all for responding!

I appreciate the responses yes I'm not here to be rude to anyone. I want to put the cruel things I said and put 2018 in a hefty trash bag and take out the trash of my foul words and take full accountability. I do have ptsd my doctor suggested exposure therapy meaning go right over it. That works on some others it's bad. I met my pastor today and we prayed on it. I am doing community service next Saturday 10-4 w my church feeding the homeless helping set up, grill, and clean up. I think isolating myself May-Aug in bed not going anywhere or showering was most definitely not healthy for ptsd as we don't feel safe and we tend to isolate anyways so that aggravated it along with trying to get out here. It was not easy but I did it. Then a scary threat around thanksgiving if you read my other post I isolated again in fear. I'm trying to get my summer back 2018 in Florida and be as positive as possible. Get sun, exercise, don't upset people, make amends etc. They are all gone I have a fresh start.
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Old 03-17-2019, 11:51 AM   #5 (permalink)
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hiall…..does your doctor have special training/expertise in treating anxiety disorders...? If not, maybe you should seek the services of someone who is....
Yes, exposure therapy can be a part of treatment...but, even that needs to be guided by the experienced therapist....and, there are many, many other techniques that can be combined with exposure therapy....it all has to be done, in a very individual way, between the client and the therapist.....
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Old 03-17-2019, 12:10 PM   #6 (permalink)
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Right now I'm in Transition and on a waiting list for trauma therapist

I am meeting a man on the 28th to do weekly appts. I'm on a waiting list for a doctor and or pysch it's long. My mass therapist is fantastic and was willing to do non profit phone sessions w me but after me lying in my temporary coffin from May- Aug I blew off tons of appts but she kept the door open. I miss her a lot as I lack supports but she can't be working for free when her caseload is huge. She did get me out of crazy town the goal was 9/15 but I arrived 12/27/18 anything that could happen to stop me from a new life was. I noticed the apple doesn't fall far from the street as my mom said in September what's the point when you will just fail. Her tongue is vicious and cruel and I picked it up from her I suppose but it's not coming w me. I stop myself if I feel that coming on. I have forgiven her but I had no supports up north one toxic person after another so I'm here finding the real me. Stay single, work, engage in healthy activities and 5 minutes at a time. I really don't want to go back there ever
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Old 03-17-2019, 12:22 PM   #7 (permalink)
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Good...hiall! I wish you the best experience with the new doctor....
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Old 03-17-2019, 02:17 PM   #8 (permalink)
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Hiall, I get anxiety but it is not from being with my XAH, I was held up several years ago. I freak out driving in unknown areas and will go out of my way , even take the long way as long as I know the area I am in. I have never gotten help for it as I can make adjustments. I used to get the same thing as leg shaking so bad and just overall panic...I would run red lights, etc. It is awesome you are getting help and getting a fresh start to focus on you.
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Old 03-17-2019, 06:10 PM   #9 (permalink)
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YES! One day I was driving on the freeway, I was alone and everything was fine then out of the blue I had a massive panic anxiety attack. I was sweating shaking had to pull over and drink gallons of water and felt like my world was spinning out of control I had to squint to see straight. I thought I was going to die and called 911. This started happening more and more just of the blue ... like I'd be at work and someone would say something to me and it felt like I was losing my grip on reality. Prior to all this my relationship was in pure chaos. My ABF would violently scream at me while I was driving many times he was drunk other times not. It gave me so much stress that my body started giving out to these massive attacks. It happens to me still when I'm on the freeway, If there's lots of traffic and I can't see the exit I start to feel trapped - I'll turn on the ac and blast that until I calm down. All this occurred regularly about 2-3 years ago. I went to the doctor about it and they wanted to give me Meds but I don't like to take anything so I started a journey of cutting out sugar/ Caffine- started exercising and most importantly started going to Alanon meetings! I realize I need to take back control of myself and not let the manipulation and drunken abuse tear me apart.- it was deteriorating my health it was the result of an unhealthy toxic relationship. I know how scared you feel.
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Old 03-17-2019, 08:12 PM   #10 (permalink)
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Wow same exact thing

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Originally Posted by Amusic View Post
YES! One day I was driving on the freeway, I was alone and everything was fine then out of the blue I had a massive panic anxiety attack. I was sweating shaking had to pull over and drink gallons of water and felt like my world was spinning out of control I had to squint to see straight. I thought I was going to die and called 911. This started happening more and more just of the blue ... like I'd be at work and someone would say something to me and it felt like I was losing my grip on reality. Prior to all this my relationship was in pure chaos. My ABF would violently scream at me while I was driving many times he was drunk other times not. It gave me so much stress that my body started giving out to these massive attacks. It happens to me still when I'm on the freeway, If there's lots of traffic and I can't see the exit I start to feel trapped - I'll turn on the ac and blast that until I calm down. All this occurred regularly about 2-3 years ago. I went to the doctor about it and they wanted to give me Meds but I don't like to take anything so I started a journey of cutting out sugar/ Caffine- started exercising and most importantly started going to Alanon meetings! I realize I need to take back control of myself and not let the manipulation and drunken abuse tear me apart.- it was deteriorating my health it was the result of an unhealthy toxic relationship. I know how scared you feel.
It's not fun at all the worst part is it comes out of nowhere when you least expect it. I hope you are healed. I can't wait for this to dissappear.
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