To talk to them or no?
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Join Date: Feb 2017
Posts: 223
To talk to them or no?
Havent posted in a while, but as an update I have essentially been living the Jerry Springer show that I can’t shut off.
I was the person contemplating divorce for the longest time and you guys told me he would get worse and he has.
Divorce was final in July and he had a girl pregnant in July. They are expecting baby in April.
I started with 50/50 custody using Soberlink and that didn’t go well. Within months I was back in court twice and now he has supervised and Soberlink every other weekend with a mid week visit every 2 weeks. I essentially don’t interact with him much at all anymore and it has helped my sanity.
His pregnant girlfriend of 6 Mo testified in court to be an approved supervisor (didn’t happen) and the girl is CLUELESS. She claims she has only seen him drink a few beers and has never seen him drink enough to be drunk. Like she was not even CONCIEVING that it’s possible that he could be drinking when she’s not looking. His parents that have been living in a hole and hate me actually reached out after sitting in court and seeing him painfully lie.... saying it was clear I had more information on his issues than they did and they would support my efforts to keep the kids safe.
On Valentine’s Day XAH was supposed to have his mid week visit and again blew positive before picking up the kids so I had to get them. Tuesday he apparently texted my dad at 230am making negative comments about me which I also take as him being drunk.
I feel this moral pull to let his dad and girlfriend know about these events. Otherwise they likely don’t know because he’s at home drinking by himself and they think he is fine. She is clueless and about to have a newborn baby! I’m so nervous for that baby!
Do I reach out to them or just stay out of it?
I hate still being the only one that see the magnitude of his issues. I don’t think he is doing well.
Thanks in advance!
I was the person contemplating divorce for the longest time and you guys told me he would get worse and he has.
Divorce was final in July and he had a girl pregnant in July. They are expecting baby in April.
I started with 50/50 custody using Soberlink and that didn’t go well. Within months I was back in court twice and now he has supervised and Soberlink every other weekend with a mid week visit every 2 weeks. I essentially don’t interact with him much at all anymore and it has helped my sanity.
His pregnant girlfriend of 6 Mo testified in court to be an approved supervisor (didn’t happen) and the girl is CLUELESS. She claims she has only seen him drink a few beers and has never seen him drink enough to be drunk. Like she was not even CONCIEVING that it’s possible that he could be drinking when she’s not looking. His parents that have been living in a hole and hate me actually reached out after sitting in court and seeing him painfully lie.... saying it was clear I had more information on his issues than they did and they would support my efforts to keep the kids safe.
On Valentine’s Day XAH was supposed to have his mid week visit and again blew positive before picking up the kids so I had to get them. Tuesday he apparently texted my dad at 230am making negative comments about me which I also take as him being drunk.
I feel this moral pull to let his dad and girlfriend know about these events. Otherwise they likely don’t know because he’s at home drinking by himself and they think he is fine. She is clueless and about to have a newborn baby! I’m so nervous for that baby!
Do I reach out to them or just stay out of it?
I hate still being the only one that see the magnitude of his issues. I don’t think he is doing well.
Thanks in advance!
Member
Join Date: Nov 2016
Location: Broken Hill NSW
Posts: 17
Gray rock. Gray rock method everybody hard. It's the fastest way to turn off Jerry Springer.
This new girlfriend can't believe you. She's not in the position to. She's too pregnant to change her mind now. Been there. Done that. She'll get there on her own in the years to come.
God helps those that help themselves. You're energy is too precious to push **** up hill with these people.
This new girlfriend can't believe you. She's not in the position to. She's too pregnant to change her mind now. Been there. Done that. She'll get there on her own in the years to come.
God helps those that help themselves. You're energy is too precious to push **** up hill with these people.
Last edited by Zenial; 02-16-2019 at 04:55 AM. Reason: Typo
Life is good
Join Date: Apr 2018
Posts: 4,036
Pray. Meditate. Go with your gut.
I don't regret reaching out to others when I've done this. It wasn't effective, often backfired, yet in retrospect always brought me more clarity.
I posted something about Mackenzie Phillips yesterday. A comment she made about people's words and actions not meeting up rings home with this. If your gut is saying, "say something!", trust it.
If instincts lead a different direction, trust that. One moment at a time. To be willing opens us up to opportunities.
You're in a difficult situation. You've been handling it well.
I don't regret reaching out to others when I've done this. It wasn't effective, often backfired, yet in retrospect always brought me more clarity.
I posted something about Mackenzie Phillips yesterday. A comment she made about people's words and actions not meeting up rings home with this. If your gut is saying, "say something!", trust it.
If instincts lead a different direction, trust that. One moment at a time. To be willing opens us up to opportunities.
You're in a difficult situation. You've been handling it well.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2015
Location: Western US
Posts: 9,003
Originally Posted by Zenial 
Gray rock. Gray rock method everybody hard. It's the fastest way to turn off Jerry Springer.
This new girlfriend can't believe you. She's not in the position to. She's too pregnant to change her mind now. Been there. Done that. She'll get there on her own in the years to come.
God helps those that help themselves. You're energy is too precious to push **** up hill with these people.
This new girlfriend can't believe you. She's not in the position to. She's too pregnant to change her mind now. Been there. Done that. She'll get there on her own in the years to come.
God helps those that help themselves. You're energy is too precious to push **** up hill with these people.
I had to look up the grey rock method. Really interesting.
Life is good
Join Date: Apr 2018
Posts: 4,036
When I've attempted talking with my mother-in-law about my husband's alcoholism, her words, thoughts and actions provided clarity with dealing with her later on. I had more information that I truly needed from those interactions.
She's not someone I can rely on in any way. She is someone who's a part of my children's lives.
She's not someone I can rely on in any way. She is someone who's a part of my children's lives.
Member
Join Date: Nov 2016
Posts: 8,637
Well, rather messy!
I'm sorry he is still letting your children down batchel, but it is to be expected and the less time they spend with him right now, perhaps is better for all concerned.
The girlfriend testifying to be an approved supervisor, you mean they denied her being one (I hope).
I wouldn't bother talking to her about it. I assume they live together. If he is drunk enough to text your Dad at 2:30 and she can't see that and has no clue, nothing you can say will convince her. She is either clueless or she's lying, either way, no point in wasting your time.
If you think the grandparents are genuinely looking out for your children, I might mention it to the them (by phone, I would put nothing in writing). Unless you tell them they may think all is well and it's not. It also might encourage them to look out for the new baby.
I'm sorry he is still letting your children down batchel, but it is to be expected and the less time they spend with him right now, perhaps is better for all concerned.
The girlfriend testifying to be an approved supervisor, you mean they denied her being one (I hope).
I wouldn't bother talking to her about it. I assume they live together. If he is drunk enough to text your Dad at 2:30 and she can't see that and has no clue, nothing you can say will convince her. She is either clueless or she's lying, either way, no point in wasting your time.
If you think the grandparents are genuinely looking out for your children, I might mention it to the them (by phone, I would put nothing in writing). Unless you tell them they may think all is well and it's not. It also might encourage them to look out for the new baby.
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Join Date: May 2010
Location: USA
Posts: 13,560
I agree with trailmix. If the grandparents are genuine in what they said to you, I would let them know. I would tell them of the event then be done with it. I would not tell the girlfriend. She won't believe you anyways.
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