kinda jittery today
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Join Date: Jul 2016
Location: OKC OK
Posts: 414
kinda jittery today
I'm kinda jittery. AH had his paycheck deposited in our account. YAY I got to pay bills. LOL
He has access to money. While I can't control whether or not he drinks, he's home alone with my youngest. Oldest is at work. I'm at work. This makes me nervous, I don't want to be and part of me feels bad because I could very well go home and he will be sober. Today is 31 days and I hate that I know that. I'm trying so hard not to think about it. I've tried stream of consciousness out loud. I've tried listening to music. I've tried praying. I can't focus on work. UGH
He has access to money. While I can't control whether or not he drinks, he's home alone with my youngest. Oldest is at work. I'm at work. This makes me nervous, I don't want to be and part of me feels bad because I could very well go home and he will be sober. Today is 31 days and I hate that I know that. I'm trying so hard not to think about it. I've tried stream of consciousness out loud. I've tried listening to music. I've tried praying. I can't focus on work. UGH
Life is good
Join Date: Apr 2018
Posts: 4,036
Three things that have helped a lot when I've hit that wall:
Grounding - "Grounding is a similar concept to centering. The Center is expansive, including your body as well as your mind, heart, and spirit. Once you learn how to ground yourself, it's easier to find your Center. Grounding techniques are designed to redistribute the energy from your head or mind into your body"
https://chopra.com/articles/groundin...ts-of-earthing
I started holding onto a tree branch, hugging a tree, going barefoot often, etc. and I was noticing a difference. I've developed a great sense of humor about this now. Easy, no-cost, earth therapy!
Leaving work when I couldn't stay. One day when I couldn't get my mind off what might have been happening at home, I asked to leave early. I don't regret that. I honored the stress I was under in a new way.
I started calling numbers on my Al-anon phone list, leaving messages, being honest, letting people in my home group know what was going on with me and thanking them for being there. Speaking this out loud in a new very constructive way was huge.
Take what you like and leave the rest.
Grounding - "Grounding is a similar concept to centering. The Center is expansive, including your body as well as your mind, heart, and spirit. Once you learn how to ground yourself, it's easier to find your Center. Grounding techniques are designed to redistribute the energy from your head or mind into your body"
https://chopra.com/articles/groundin...ts-of-earthing
I started holding onto a tree branch, hugging a tree, going barefoot often, etc. and I was noticing a difference. I've developed a great sense of humor about this now. Easy, no-cost, earth therapy!
Leaving work when I couldn't stay. One day when I couldn't get my mind off what might have been happening at home, I asked to leave early. I don't regret that. I honored the stress I was under in a new way.
I started calling numbers on my Al-anon phone list, leaving messages, being honest, letting people in my home group know what was going on with me and thanking them for being there. Speaking this out loud in a new very constructive way was huge.
Take what you like and leave the rest.
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Jul 2016
Location: OKC OK
Posts: 414
Originally Posted by Mango212 
I've been there. I get it.
(((hugs)))
(((hugs)))
I just talked to him and now I feel horrible because he's definitely sober. He called to find out what I wanted for dinner so he can have it ready when I get home. I just texted my boss and told her I'm going to come in a little later tomorrow than usual because I need a meeting between the holiday and the stupid weather I haven't made it to any meetings this week.
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