clarity888

Well, I figured today might happen, and it did. I caught a whiff of the stench of alcohol on him. It seemed to have been a good past couple of months, but I never felt absolutely certain or could tell that he was 100% sober. I didn't try to either. But today it was undeniable.

I had called him to meet me for help opening a lock on a storage unit. So he drove 3-4 miles with our son to meet me. I smelled it. Got angry. My son rode back home with me.

At home, I busted out the BAC breathalyzer I never really had used before. He blew .25%, which said "memory problems and may have difficulty walking". I did a lot of screaming about driving with our son in the car, in that condition. I told him he needs to leave, go to mom's, figure it out. He brought up an argument we had Sunday, and tried to relate it all to that. I also mentioned that although in the past, I would leave, that this time I've decided that it's not fair to uproot our son and myself, when AH is the one doing things that put his own and others' lives at risk.

So that's it for today! Thanks for letting me vent. I am still in shock at the .24 (prob 3 x the legal limit).

SorNS

trailmix

I'm sorry clarity. And the nerve to try to relate, somehow, him driving drunk with your Son in the car to an argument you had on Sunday, it must be infuriating.

It's good you asked him to leave this time, you being put out every time he crosses the line isn't really inconvenient for him, but I know you have to do what you have to do as this occurs.

clarity888

Thank you SorNS...I am really sorry you are dealing with the same situation...I am glad you are taking up for yourself and your children. Sending you the same good wishes. And thank you Trailmix, yes, it was infuriating. To clarify, he also linked driving drunk/meeting me at the storage unit to the fact that I asked for him to drive there to help w/a lock. Granted, no, an A won't be able to step up and say "sorry honey, I can't, I'm really drunk right now". Once we both arrived back home in our separate cars, and our son was outside, we had our words, and I told him I'd call an Uber to get him where he was going. This is where I now feel very guilty asking him to leave; he insisted on driving himself and refused over and over to take an Uber or let me take him. He just twisted my words around to sound like I wanted him to drive off drunk, into the distance. So he did drive off by himself, and I debated if I should call the police, but didn't. Oh, he made a joke of how my breathalyzer app said "may have difficulty walking"--thinking it was so funny to pretend to stumble. He also said "you and I have driven in this shape many times before"...referring to our youth and bad decisions prior to becoming parents. Anyway, I was no saint in this situation; I blew my top, and I don't know when I will hear from him. I pray nobody, including him, get hurt. Thanks for listening.

Clover71

Mango212

I call. It's been part of my own recovery. My husband has never had a dui because I called, yet I've gone through this possiblity -- and the frustration of him driving drunk.

I call for me, because I need to. Then I call someone from Al-anon, working on honesty, keeping to my side of the road, keeping my motives clear and for emotional support.

This hasn't come up often.

I'm sorry you're dealing with this. It sucks!!!

Wamama48

It may not be surpring to you that he's drinking again, but still, what a kick in the gut! I'm sorry you're going through this. Alcoholics are the most selfish people on the face of the earth. I'm sending a virtual hug to you. And some chocolate 🍫 too.

Sasha1972

I'm really sorry this happened. It sounds like you got not only evidence that he was drinking again but the full spectrum of alcoholic "reasoning": deny, minimize, deflect, attack. What a mess. Good for you for standing your ground.

Please don't feel guilty. You have done nothing wrong. Unless you pinned him down and poured alcohol down his throat with a funnel, his drinking and all its consequences (including being stupid and not taking a rideshare) are entirely on him.