Sorry I have been MIA.....
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Join Date: May 2010
Location: USA
Posts: 13,560
Sorry I have been MIA.....
Good Morning friends.
I am so sorry I have been MIA lately. We are in a major transition at work, and my father, who has alzheimers, has taken a turn for the worst and is in the hospital. It's a disease that just ravages your brain, it's tragic. We are making his plans to transition into a nursing home, and it's just a busy and sad time to say the least.
I hope everyone is doing well. You are all in my heart and prayers and I have missed interacting with you! I hope to be on more, it's just touch and go for now. I just wanted to stop in this morning and catch up. Have a great day!
I am so sorry I have been MIA lately. We are in a major transition at work, and my father, who has alzheimers, has taken a turn for the worst and is in the hospital. It's a disease that just ravages your brain, it's tragic. We are making his plans to transition into a nursing home, and it's just a busy and sad time to say the least.
I hope everyone is doing well. You are all in my heart and prayers and I have missed interacting with you! I hope to be on more, it's just touch and go for now. I just wanted to stop in this morning and catch up. Have a great day!
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Join Date: Jul 2012
Location: ohio
Posts: 3,615
Ugh I’m sorry to hear about your dad, hopeful. My father in law had the same. It’s heartbreaking. Sorry. I hope you find some joy in the little snippets of fun times with him. It may sound like gallows humor, but there is fun in singing songs together but not knowing what words will come out... hugs.
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Join Date: May 2010
Location: USA
Posts: 13,560
Hi Mango,
We have not even chosen one yet. I am quite nervous about the nursing home but he clearly cannot be home any longer, it's not safe. It's a very sad and stressful situation.
We have not even chosen one yet. I am quite nervous about the nursing home but he clearly cannot be home any longer, it's not safe. It's a very sad and stressful situation.
Originally Posted by Mango212 
How do you feel about the nursing home?
Prayers are with you and your family!
Prayers are with you and your family!
Community Greeter
Join Date: Aug 2011
Posts: 16,246
hopeful......just want to say that I know how trying these family times can be.
When my ex MIL went into a nursing home,,,,for much the same reasons....she actually did much better than she had been at home, alone....
When my ex MIL went into a nursing home,,,,for much the same reasons....she actually did much better than she had been at home, alone....
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Join Date: Mar 2006
Location: a better place
Posts: 4,047
I'm so sorry you are facing such challenging times, Hopeful and very sorry to hear that your dad has taken a turn for the worse. There's a lot of information to process, but I found just visiting the homes and asking questions and watching, helps greatly in making these tough decisions. Please make sure you take care of yourself too and get needed rest and nutrition. We're thinking of you and your family. 
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Join Date: Nov 2016
Posts: 8,636
Hi Hopeful, glad you checked in. I'm really sorry to hear about your Dad and I know this is a hugely stressful time for you, please remember to look after yourself (self-care!).
Anyway appreciate you popping in, always good to hear from you.
Anyway appreciate you popping in, always good to hear from you.
I hope you are taking good care of yourself!!
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Join Date: Jan 2018
Posts: 500
Uuuuggghhh Hopeful I am so very sorry. I have watched 2 members of my family suffer with that horrible disease. I will be praying for you and your family. Im so sorry. Please take care of yourself the emotional toll this disease takes on family is devastating.
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Join Date: Jun 2006
Posts: 5,103
Hi Hopeful4,
I am so sorry you are facing this difficult situation, it’s overwhelming to say the least. I know because I went through this with my dad who could no longer be home and needed constant care.
The best advice I could offer is, don’t allow the social worker, hospital or nursing home to bully you into anything you do not fully understand. They make everything seem like it’s immediate right now and it’s not.
The issue I went through was not having much time to shop around for a nursing home or to see what might have been available with assisted living in home and facilities. The social worker at the hospital was pushing for us to immediately go with whatever was available at that moment. Then the nursing home was pushy about practically signing over all his assets to them, which I refused to do. They were pushing for his social security check to be directed to them, they wanted their name on all kinds of financial stuff and again I refused.
My mom is still alive and they didn’t seem to care much about her or what she would live on if everything was turned over to them.
I got a lawyer involved and with the next harassing phone call from the nursing home I told them to contact the attorney directly. I had my dad moved out of that facility as soon as a bed became available for him in a much better and closer facility.
Any information I can share with you on my experience just let me know.
Keeping you and your dad in my prayers!!
I am so sorry you are facing this difficult situation, it’s overwhelming to say the least. I know because I went through this with my dad who could no longer be home and needed constant care.
The best advice I could offer is, don’t allow the social worker, hospital or nursing home to bully you into anything you do not fully understand. They make everything seem like it’s immediate right now and it’s not.
The issue I went through was not having much time to shop around for a nursing home or to see what might have been available with assisted living in home and facilities. The social worker at the hospital was pushing for us to immediately go with whatever was available at that moment. Then the nursing home was pushy about practically signing over all his assets to them, which I refused to do. They were pushing for his social security check to be directed to them, they wanted their name on all kinds of financial stuff and again I refused.
My mom is still alive and they didn’t seem to care much about her or what she would live on if everything was turned over to them.
I got a lawyer involved and with the next harassing phone call from the nursing home I told them to contact the attorney directly. I had my dad moved out of that facility as soon as a bed became available for him in a much better and closer facility.
Any information I can share with you on my experience just let me know.
Keeping you and your dad in my prayers!!
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Join Date: May 2010
Location: USA
Posts: 13,560
With tears in my eyes I can only say thank you all so much friends. It's such a hard time and to know you are all here supporting me means so much I cannot even express how much I appreciate it.
Atalose....we are VERY lucky. He is at an excellent hospital facility, and the social worker there is actually the one telling us to slow down, breathe, that there is no rush at all. They are a tremendous help and asset to us. They are taking such good care of my dad. I wish he could stay there!!
We have found one place that we like. My mom is seeing an attorney to get financials in place. We have found just taking things one day at a time is key. It's so sad and so very hard. He is pitiful and just wants to go home. My heart breaks for him, and for my mom.
I am going to try to get some work done, I should win the award for the worst employee ever! Luckily my work is very supporting and wonderful about such things and is letting me do whatever I need to do basically whenever I need to do it. Thanking God for them also.
Again, thank you friends for letting me express all of this and being here for me. You are a wonderful lot of people!
Atalose....we are VERY lucky. He is at an excellent hospital facility, and the social worker there is actually the one telling us to slow down, breathe, that there is no rush at all. They are a tremendous help and asset to us. They are taking such good care of my dad. I wish he could stay there!!
We have found one place that we like. My mom is seeing an attorney to get financials in place. We have found just taking things one day at a time is key. It's so sad and so very hard. He is pitiful and just wants to go home. My heart breaks for him, and for my mom.
I am going to try to get some work done, I should win the award for the worst employee ever! Luckily my work is very supporting and wonderful about such things and is letting me do whatever I need to do basically whenever I need to do it. Thanking God for them also.
Again, thank you friends for letting me express all of this and being here for me. You are a wonderful lot of people!
Originally Posted by atalose
Hi Hopeful4,
I am so sorry you are facing this difficult situation, it’s overwhelming to say the least. I know because I went through this with my dad who could no longer be home and needed constant care.
The best advice I could offer is, don’t allow the social worker, hospital or nursing home to bully you into anything you do not fully understand. They make everything seem like it’s immediate right now and it’s not.
The issue I went through was not having much time to shop around for a nursing home or to see what might have been available with assisted living in home and facilities. The social worker at the hospital was pushing for us to immediately go with whatever was available at that moment. Then the nursing home was pushy about practically signing over all his assets to them, which I refused to do. They were pushing for his social security check to be directed to them, they wanted their name on all kinds of financial stuff and again I refused.
My mom is still alive and they didn’t seem to care much about her or what she would live on if everything was turned over to them.
I got a lawyer involved and with the next harassing phone call from the nursing home I told them to contact the attorney directly. I had my dad moved out of that facility as soon as a bed became available for him in a much better and closer facility.
Any information I can share with you on my experience just let me know.
Keeping you and your dad in my prayers!!
I am so sorry you are facing this difficult situation, it’s overwhelming to say the least. I know because I went through this with my dad who could no longer be home and needed constant care.
The best advice I could offer is, don’t allow the social worker, hospital or nursing home to bully you into anything you do not fully understand. They make everything seem like it’s immediate right now and it’s not.
The issue I went through was not having much time to shop around for a nursing home or to see what might have been available with assisted living in home and facilities. The social worker at the hospital was pushing for us to immediately go with whatever was available at that moment. Then the nursing home was pushy about practically signing over all his assets to them, which I refused to do. They were pushing for his social security check to be directed to them, they wanted their name on all kinds of financial stuff and again I refused.
My mom is still alive and they didn’t seem to care much about her or what she would live on if everything was turned over to them.
I got a lawyer involved and with the next harassing phone call from the nursing home I told them to contact the attorney directly. I had my dad moved out of that facility as soon as a bed became available for him in a much better and closer facility.
Any information I can share with you on my experience just let me know.
Keeping you and your dad in my prayers!!
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Thread Starter
Join Date: May 2010
Location: USA
Posts: 13,560
It is so hard, and I feel very blessed that we are having such wonderful people work with us, as I know it can easily be the other way around. I will take those hugs, thank you friend!
Originally Posted by atalose
((HUGS))
I am so happy to hear that the social worker is working with you and that things are going in a calm direction for you and your mom, it's so hard I know!
I am so happy to hear that the social worker is working with you and that things are going in a calm direction for you and your mom, it's so hard I know!
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Join Date: Mar 2017
Posts: 1,618
I get some of what you're going through ... my parents (mid-80s) have both taken an abrupt turn for the worse recently. My mother has been in the hospital since Dec 24 - she had a major stroke in the summer of 2017 and while she made great progress getting her mobility back, it's all been undone by a kidney infection that won't go away. My father is physically still able to get around but he's showing what I fear are the early signs of dementia. His personality has changed - he's paranoid, fearful that people are conspiring against him or talking about him behind his back (which is not entirely wrong), and is having trouble processing information or making decisions. He thinks that my brother believes that he (my father) is incompetent and is trying to take over everything (again, not entirely wrong). My brother means well, but he is a bull in a china shop. I am doing my best to stay out of it especially as I live a long distance away from both parents. It's sad. I hate to see my parents' lives ending like this.
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Sasha, my heart is with you. My dad went through that paranoid phase as well. Just remember, he truly cannot help it so you don't take anything too personally.
It's very sad. The medicines they have him on to control his overwhelming anxiety, sundowners, and sometimes aggression is turning him into a zombie. They said that his body will regulate the medicines and it will get some better, but to watch someone go through this is absolutely heart wrenching.
He is in a wonderful place though, it's nice and they are taking good care of him. That is a blessing. There are some good days and some not so good days, and we expect that. I feel for my mom as well, it's all so hard.
My heart truly goes out to all who are dealing with this brain robbing disease.
Big hugs!
It's very sad. The medicines they have him on to control his overwhelming anxiety, sundowners, and sometimes aggression is turning him into a zombie. They said that his body will regulate the medicines and it will get some better, but to watch someone go through this is absolutely heart wrenching.
He is in a wonderful place though, it's nice and they are taking good care of him. That is a blessing. There are some good days and some not so good days, and we expect that. I feel for my mom as well, it's all so hard.
My heart truly goes out to all who are dealing with this brain robbing disease.
Big hugs!
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