Good vibes, please. Monday CPS court hearing. - SoberRecovery : Alcoholism Drug Addiction Help and Information
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Old 01-13-2019, 09:10 PM   #1 (permalink)
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Good vibes, please. Monday CPS court hearing.


Good vibes and prayers, please.

It's now down to simply procedure, it seems. This looks to be a long drawn out process over many months. DS12 was healthy and happy with me, now he is the same with DS30 and there is no willingness from the CPS agent to allow him to be back with me. The homeschool paperwork was taken care of easily. Other things have been taken care of, yet my first meeting with her was last Friday (more than 2 months in) and nothing counts with her.

I've been meditating a lot today. Cleaning. Allowing all emotions. Coming back to centered and balanced.

My lawyer wasn't much hope on Friday, just saying I'm between a rock and a hard spot and there's really nothing to do.

Taking this one day at a time.

One thing that came to me is to check with the school to see if it's possible for us to have our supervised visits at the gym. Maybe the different agent in charge of visitations will be open to that, if it works out.

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Old 01-13-2019, 10:03 PM   #2 (permalink)
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I hope so Mango. It's a terrible thing to be going through I'm sure and you are staying strong and I know you will continue to do that, taking care of yourself.

Good luck to you tomorrow!
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Old 01-13-2019, 10:18 PM   #3 (permalink)
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Thank you, trailmix. It really means a lot.
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Old 01-13-2019, 10:48 PM   #4 (permalink)
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Lol - I just noticed how whiny that sounded with the "nothing counts with her" comment! It simply seems that she has her own agenda. My lawyer and victim's advocate asked me what my experience was with this agent on Friday and both confirmed what I was seeing. It hasn't been good.

To see things clearly and move ahead is a gift in itself. I can wait, pray, take the next right action. This is beyond me.

I hung an interior door today. I'm finding I have many capabilities and skills. I'm becoming aware of more of them all the time. Every time I open and close the door I stop and enjoy it being there. It's heavy hardwood and an odd size. I found it easily at a Habitat for Humanity ReStore. The door framing needed to be removed and reset in order to make things work. It's very lovely.

It's been a great focus for me. This was something that gave me much needed confidence.

I'm getting good at crying in new ways, too. Naturally louder and more deeply felt.
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Old 01-13-2019, 10:56 PM   #5 (permalink)
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Nicely done! Hanging a door well is not easy.

I hear you and this is why government organizations get such a bad rap, because of people like the CPS agent. They are human, they have biases and really there is no room for that in that type of job. It's very unprofessional.

I don't suppose there is any way to petition to have someone else take over your case.

Seems to me that people like that have some "thing" some way of thinking that you have to address to get on their good side. The trouble being you probably don't know her well enough or haven't spent enough time with her to know what it is she wants or is looking for.

I guess the alternative is to throw all the law you can muster at them.

Anyway, rambling but just want you to know that I hear you and the frustration is terrible i'm sure.

And you didn't sound whiny to me at all.
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Old 01-13-2019, 11:04 PM   #6 (permalink)
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Thank you, trailmix. I've gone to offices in other cities asking for information and help. I haven't given up hope, yet this seems the only way through this right now.
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Old 01-14-2019, 12:04 AM   #7 (permalink)
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Prayers for you, Mango...

As you say it's beyond your control. You do the next right thing as you have been. God knows the agent you have now, and why, and the reason may be revealed in time, or not.

A few years ago I was representing clients on an audit. The stakes were very high, like potential penalties of over $300,000. There were strengths and weaknesses in our case. The first agent assigned to us was utterly incompetent. She did nothing for months but ask ridiculous questions and break promises of when she'd move the case along. It was incredibly stressful and frustrating for my clients.

Over a year in we were finally assigned a different agent. This one was competent and fair. In the end, she fought for a good result for my clients. I really think the poor service and interminable, costly delays we went through with the first agent made the second one more sympathetic.

I'm glad to hear your son is healthy and happy, and hope he will soon be back with you. Praying for you tomorrow.
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Old 01-14-2019, 12:07 AM   #8 (permalink)
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I will be thinking of you tomorrow.
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Old 01-14-2019, 02:15 AM   #9 (permalink)
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Good morning, Mango!

Many prayers heading your way I don't at all understand why this trial by CPS continues, but I'm hoping and praying for the best possible outcome!!

Prayers for strength, clarity, and peace for you and for at least some good news out of all of this today!!
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Old 01-14-2019, 02:24 AM   #10 (permalink)
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Strength from Above. Strength from with
in. Prayers and keeping you in mind hoping
all goes well.
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Old 01-14-2019, 03:22 AM   #11 (permalink)
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May your outcome be for the highest good for you and your son.

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Old 01-14-2019, 06:21 AM   #12 (permalink)
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Mango....thinking of you, today.....and, waiting to hear the results. I think that your attitude is a good one. and, I believe that will serve you well.....
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Old 01-14-2019, 06:35 AM   #13 (permalink)
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Stay the course. CPS and guardians ad litem have a bad rep, here, too. It's a circular problem. The judge appoints a guardian. She may or may not be fair. The parent or parents may complain to the judge, but few judges will admit to a mistake or poor judgement.

I rented to a non-custodial parent this summer. Kids doing okay with his relatives, and oddly, in the end the powers that be decided his alcoholic wife should have primary custody. He just takes them as often as he can and documents the times wife is too busy, has commitments, etc. Here's the kicker: she's completing a program for addicts/alkies. Her boyfriend is an alcoholic that isn't allowed to be around the kids. (but who wants to give up a boyfriend, right?) So he can't stay with her, or be around the kids. Good news is that by this fall, CPS is out of the picture. It's now up to the two of them and their lawyers to decide visitations .

And yes, to add to the chaos, they have an open marriage, which is why I encouraged him to move along. Having the kids hear their parents talk about dates with other people was more than I wanted to know.
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Old 01-14-2019, 07:44 AM   #14 (permalink)
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Praying for you!
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Old 01-14-2019, 07:52 AM   #15 (permalink)
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Thank you all, very much!

Court is this afternoon.

This past year I've had a very deep patriotism. To have this experience, clarity and contrast of the extreme dysfunction in some (many?) areas of our government feels like a much needed life awareness, simply to see things as a whole on a different level.

This sucks!!!



Among the many angels in my life, I briefly met a woman named Angela who has a fabulous recovery from an avalanche and has a zest for life, adventurous spirit and deep, great faith in God/Great Spirit. Our meeting was meant to be.

I'm thankful for things in my life that are going well. I'm thankful for some small problems like my trunk not opening last night to keep my attention on little things. I now know my car has a 'valet switch' that disables the trunk release. That was fun to explore. I have a possible solution I haven't tried yet, with a possible release loop to be reached through the back seat. It feels good to wait with that - I need good puzzles and possible answers today! I don't need anything in my trunk immediately and this is a lovely place to put my focus and attention.

Awareness, acceptance, action. Allowing space with these, as I've learned through Alanon. There is power and transformation within me during the pause.

Instead of moving into action, I'm taking extra time for meditation and yoga. This unknown of my car trunk is easy to allow. Letting this ease of mind transform my day.
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Old 01-14-2019, 08:49 AM   #16 (permalink)
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Many, many prayers headed your way today Mango!!
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Old 01-14-2019, 10:18 AM   #17 (permalink)
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Thank you!


Keep Living It Up

https://youtu.be/3CIHhrHh0S8

I was searching for a different song and this is what came to me. I like how this works.
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Old 01-14-2019, 02:44 PM   #18 (permalink)
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I stipulated. I agreed to not fight. That was not my plan.

It came down to my adult children, DS12's attorney, the judge, the process, of how stipulating would create a faster more amicable resolution to this situation.

This really, really, really, really, really, really sucks. I kept my sense of humor, overall. Whispered something to my lawyer just before we came back to stipulate and his laughter gave me some much needed light hearted relief. He understands the CPS agent I'm dealing with. He gets this. I have a good lawyer.

Stipulating is something I wound up doing for all my children, as immensely illogical as that is.

I've been enjoying some really good things in this day that have nothing to do with this case. I've also been crying a lot. Strong when I need to be. Human, parent, hurting.


#godsgotthis
#beyondme
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Old 01-14-2019, 02:53 PM   #19 (permalink)
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Flow of least resistance.

This was, as crazy as it is, the flow of least resistance. I trust the universe to work this out.



I've taken puppy for a walk. Tossed everything I was wearing today in the wash. Snuggled in clothes that are comfy and have special meaning, wrapped in blankets. Honoring my strength, pain, humor, good connections to life and the power of moving forward.
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Old 01-14-2019, 03:20 PM   #20 (permalink)
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Mango...thanks for the report! And, O am glad that this event is behind you....as I know how nerve wracking it can be.....
I must confess that I am not sure of what "stipulating" means...as applied in this setting....?
I understand that the tears are connecting you to your deep feelings....a good thing, in my opinion.....
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