alwayscovering

SS17 wants to go to an AA meeting to see what it's like. Do you think that's appropriate? I don't think it's a big deal but I'm not sure what others think since he's still technically a minor. I'm also going to take him to an al anon meeting this week. I caught him dumping out AH's liquor. I told him not to waste time doing that, all it's going to do is make him pissed off and cost more money because it won't stop his dad from drinking. I told him he can't put it off any longer.

atalose

Yes I think it would be ok for him to attend an “open” AA meeting at age 17 but he might not get a great understanding by attending just one. Same with al-anon he won’t understand it by just going to one meeting. That’s my opinion.

honeypig

always, I don't think his age is a big deal, but what he should be aware of is that regular AA meetings are only for the alcoholic.

If he looks at your local directory online (main site here https://www.aa.org/ ) he should be able to find a list of meetings, and maybe he has already found this. Some meetings will be listed as "open", and those would be the ones appropriate for him to go to. The difference between open and closed meetings is explained here: https://www.aamonterey.org/about-aa/...osed-meetings/

Hope that helps. And kudos to you for taking him to Alanon. That, IMO, is likely to be the most helpful. Wishing you both hope and healing.

alwayscovering

Thanks. I go to al anon and sometimes attend open AA meetings. I think he's just wanting to see what the AA meeting is like. I know I was curious to see what was so "awful" about AA. (didn't find it awful at all) I just wasn't sure if it was acceptable to take a minor to an AA meeting. I know I can bring him to al anon as we don't have any alateen near us I just wasn't sure about the AA meetings.

Mango212

It seems like a great idea, especially since it came from him and his natural curiosity about it.

Shellcrusher

I go to AA meetings sometimes. It presents a different perspective for sure. Those are open AA meetings mind you. I personally wouldn't go to a closed AA meeting.
While the steps are the same minus 1 word, I'm not an alcoholic so my time is better spent with like minded people in Al-Anon.
As has been suggested, there's nothing wrong with going to several different meetings and going more than once. Each has their own style.
Perhaps I should have gone to a meeting when I was 17. It ain't like they're checking IDs at the door and showing interest in meetings is a good thing. Getting over that hump/stigma of going to a 12 step meeting was hard for me at first. I'm thankful I went.

Edit: I never found anything awful about an AA meeting. Hell, folks in those rooms celebrate their victories and laugh alot. I like that positive energy. I gave me hope.

FireSprite

I took a class on addiction/abuse in college at age 17 & part of the requirements were to attend a few open meetings.

I do think if this were me, I'd ask him to attend an Al Anon meeting as well, to understand the similarities & difference between the organizations. It may help him to understand the bigger picture of what is meant by calling it a Family Disease a bit better, in my thinking.

Mango212

Does he have a particular meeting time in mind to visit? If so, is it one you've been to before?

alwayscovering

There's an open AA meeting I like to attend that I'll take him to. I found an alateen meeting it's a bit of a hike from the house but I want him to go to at least a few alateen meetings and maybe meet other teenagers in the same boat. I'm taking my DS also.

Mango212

That sounds like a great plan.

Cyranoak

Totally appropriate for him to attend an open meeting. Speaking only for myself as somebody who is not an alcoholic, I don't speak at AA meetings though I like going to them as part of my recovery from having alcoholics and addicts in my life.

dawnrising

I went with my DD and a 30+ year sober alcoholic to an AA meeting. The A thought it would be good for us to see what its like, I will say that it gave us a little bit of hope as this particular meeting was full of long timers and it was really heartbreaking as there was a newcomer in the room who was fairly young who had just lost her family. It was full of both devastation and hope but also very normal looking people which I think was good for both of us to see.

Mango212

Hi dawnrising,

Experiences with seeing newcomers coming into recovery through AA, rehab or any other way quickly can change to seeing great hope when someone has bottomed out and found great support around them. This happens all the time and is always there for them. It's a journey of recovery that is transformative and illogical. I really do love how this works, time and again!

Even if someone is repeatedly relapsing, or leaves for a while, the support, knowledge and possibilities are still there. One friend of mine (AA, his wife is an Alanon friend of mine), drank before AA meetings for six months, yet it got him in the door. He took good actions. He kept going back, he got a sponsor, he went to rehab when he wasn't able to quit drinking on his own. He now has a super strong long term sobriety and great recovery stories of how big, connected and wonderful this life is.

Wamama48

Did your SS go to a meeting? If so, what did he think of it? I think it is an awesome idea for him. What a great kid to even put himself out there and want to do that!