CPS part 3
Life is good
Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2018
Posts: 4,036
CPS part 3
I'm a rebel. I know my truth. I trust in God/Great Spirit/Universe to see me through this. Instead of playing by 'logical' moves, I'm following an illogical path that keeps getting better. 
I will not be bullied anymore, by anyone. I'm thankful for the experiences I'm having right now that show me this more than ever before, and for falling back into recovery tools that help me through this. Connecting with healthy people, enjoying this day, prayer, meditation and using my voice only as needed, in appropriate ways.
Many lies are being told about me. All stemming from my FOO. Nothing new here, I'm simply getting past cognitive dissonance and dealing with this in individual ways. Sometimes ignoring it, sometimes playing 'nice', often praying, waiting, looking up different information or going to Al-anon meetings and seeing what arises before doing anything at all. Waiting is a powerful action. Staying in No Contact with FOO.
I have a fire inside me. In my gut. In my soul.
My lawyer and victim's advocate are seeing this case even more clearly than I have been. My Higher Power works in crazy ways.
https://www.everydayhealth.com/neuro...ory-definition
One of the things one of the nice CPS agents said in regardsto DS11: "He knows you're not able to see him right now, and you need this time to become a better parent."
Having some anger about that, letting it go, letting myself have a sense of humor. We are seeing things very differently and it's a good time to simply be me and keep my faith.
#lifeisgood
#livinginthesolution
I will not be bullied anymore, by anyone. I'm thankful for the experiences I'm having right now that show me this more than ever before, and for falling back into recovery tools that help me through this. Connecting with healthy people, enjoying this day, prayer, meditation and using my voice only as needed, in appropriate ways.
Many lies are being told about me. All stemming from my FOO. Nothing new here, I'm simply getting past cognitive dissonance and dealing with this in individual ways. Sometimes ignoring it, sometimes playing 'nice', often praying, waiting, looking up different information or going to Al-anon meetings and seeing what arises before doing anything at all. Waiting is a powerful action. Staying in No Contact with FOO.
I have a fire inside me. In my gut. In my soul.
My lawyer and victim's advocate are seeing this case even more clearly than I have been. My Higher Power works in crazy ways.
https://www.everydayhealth.com/neuro...ory-definition
One of the things one of the nice CPS agents said in regardsto DS11: "He knows you're not able to see him right now, and you need this time to become a better parent."
Having some anger about that, letting it go, letting myself have a sense of humor. We are seeing things very differently and it's a good time to simply be me and keep my faith.
#lifeisgood
#livinginthesolution
Life is good
Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2018
Posts: 4,036
Btw - the homeschool paperwork was taken care of without any issues whatsoever. This was never about that, us living on a remote ranch or traveling often.
From my counselor: my adult children see my recovery as a threat to the truth as they know it.
It is.
I have approval for one visit on Christmas day. I'm greatly celebrating this. The judge approved this at the hearing where everything was postponed.
Other than that, the two CPS agents involved with visitation have no news for me.
Did I mention the God of my understanding works in crazy ways?
From my counselor: my adult children see my recovery as a threat to the truth as they know it.
It is.
I have approval for one visit on Christmas day. I'm greatly celebrating this. The judge approved this at the hearing where everything was postponed.
Other than that, the two CPS agents involved with visitation have no news for me.
Did I mention the God of my understanding works in crazy ways?
Community Greeter
Join Date: Aug 2011
Posts: 16,246
Mango.....that snarky comment must have felt like a slap in the (emotional) face...…
I am so glad that you know who to listen to and who to let bounce off.....
I am glad to see how you are honoring yourself.....
Life is good
Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2018
Posts: 4,036
Thanks, dandylion! Merry Christmas to you, also.
She's a new CPS agent and was being very kind and helpful, I thought, and then she shared that with me in complete sincerity.
Thank God for recovery skills!!! I didn't reply to that at all until I hung up the phone and let God have it! I'm really glad He can deal with my anger and transform it.
"Learning isn’t just about being in a classroom. Creative learning and real world experiences bring subjects to life and help your child to develop a deeper understanding and be more excited and engaged."
Words don't teach, experiences do. I trust we're learning necessary life lessons, such as direct communication. I'm proud of all my kids in many ways.
She's a new CPS agent and was being very kind and helpful, I thought, and then she shared that with me in complete sincerity.
Thank God for recovery skills!!! I didn't reply to that at all until I hung up the phone and let God have it! I'm really glad He can deal with my anger and transform it.
"Learning isn’t just about being in a classroom. Creative learning and real world experiences bring subjects to life and help your child to develop a deeper understanding and be more excited and engaged."
Words don't teach, experiences do. I trust we're learning necessary life lessons, such as direct communication. I'm proud of all my kids in many ways.
Member
Join Date: Mar 2014
Posts: 685
Thank God for recovery skills!!! I didn't reply to that at all until I hung up the phone and let God have it! I'm really glad He can deal with my anger and transform it.
God can deal with your anger, with this entire case, with your FOO, with your adult children and transform them.
I had a situation at work a few months ago. I've been with this firm over 20 years and it's been very good with long-time coworkers and clients who became friends.
A new woman came to our firm - in a position above mine - with the attitude of, "the way all of you do things is wrong, my way is right, and from now on you have to do things my way". This went from work-related matters to receiving packages at the office. "When I'm in charge I'll put a stop to this" (receiving packages).
I couldn't stand her and her attitude and I was not alone. At first, I prayed she'd just leave. Then I knew better and started praying God would bless her , would bring her love and peace and happiness.
To get to the bottom line: She totally changed her attitude. We are friends. I enjoy working with her and think she's an asset to the firm.
God transforms.
Blessings to the CPS agents and everyone else involved, you, your husband, your other kids, your FOO.
Life is good
Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2018
Posts: 4,036
Originally Posted by dandylion 
that snarky comment must have felt like a slap in the (emotional) face...…
It did. This whole thing with the CPS did.
I'm getting past that. I know my skills and strengths as a person and a parent. All of life is about changes, transitions and continued learning. I have nothing to prove, disprove or apologize for. I am human. Being. Stepping away from the chaos.
Life is as easy as I choose to let it be. There are many paths to getting things done and I enjoy one that is guided by my Higher Power, flowing in a timing and ease beyond me. Meditation, happiness and gratitude are learned practices. I learn from others who know how, and then implement the practice of these things. It's very much like learning math or a new language.
I dropped off some Santa presents and Christmas gifts yesterday. I met DS30 at his work and it was really good to have time with him. The super long drive was good for me. Music on. Allowing emotions, awareness and good connections.
One day at a time.
[edit]
Life is good
Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2018
Posts: 4,036
Thank you, Seren & hopeful!
My youngest son is now 12 years old. Allowing feelings of joy, celebration and trusting my Higher Power. God signs keep me looking towards the good, with clarity and a deep peace that continues to give me balance.
I opted out of the communication exercise at my husband's rehab day. We've done this communication process at two rehab family weeks before and after meditating my very strong instinct was to put down my pen, leave the paper blank and have the courage to say, "I opt out of this."
Standing by my deep gut instincts strengthens my faith. DS30 and my husband already had their communication exercises. I had let my husband know ahead of time that I was going to opt out.
My youngest son is now 12 years old. Allowing feelings of joy, celebration and trusting my Higher Power. God signs keep me looking towards the good, with clarity and a deep peace that continues to give me balance.
I opted out of the communication exercise at my husband's rehab day. We've done this communication process at two rehab family weeks before and after meditating my very strong instinct was to put down my pen, leave the paper blank and have the courage to say, "I opt out of this."
Standing by my deep gut instincts strengthens my faith. DS30 and my husband already had their communication exercises. I had let my husband know ahead of time that I was going to opt out.
Life is good
Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2018
Posts: 4,036
Thank you, Seren. It was very powerful! I'm starting to realize this. 
On to more illogical actions today:
I have a very full day ahead.
In addition I'm going to an Al-anon meeting that's going to add 4 1/2 hours of much needed therapy to my day! 3+ hours of driving, listening to music and stopping for tea on the way plus allowing 10 minutes before the meeting to connect with others in good ways.
Recognizing I have a lot on my plate, I'm falling back onto a routine that's worked wonders in my life many times! I don't know how this works to ease my load, yet it does.
On to more illogical actions today:
I have a very full day ahead.
In addition I'm going to an Al-anon meeting that's going to add 4 1/2 hours of much needed therapy to my day! 3+ hours of driving, listening to music and stopping for tea on the way plus allowing 10 minutes before the meeting to connect with others in good ways.
Recognizing I have a lot on my plate, I'm falling back onto a routine that's worked wonders in my life many times! I don't know how this works to ease my load, yet it does.
Life is good
Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2018
Posts: 4,036
I trust the good in life, law of attraction, asking for clarity and guidance. The God of my understanding has a wonderful sense of humor, timing and ways of working things out that are beyond me.
Meditation: I allow myself to relax, enjoy this day and celebrate life.
[edited]
Speak Life, TobyMac
Meditation: I allow myself to relax, enjoy this day and celebrate life.
[edited]
Speak Life, TobyMac
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