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The Universe: Sometimes the "Good End" of the Stick

Old 12-07-2018, 04:38 AM
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The Universe: Sometimes the "Good End" of the Stick

Since I come here to rant, I think it is appropriate to share that the Universe has been exceedingly good to me/us too. So, here goes:

1. In May, after AW got out of the hospital following a complicated withdrawal, she had quit her job. Loss of income and having to go COBRA on healthcare insurance ($$$$). DD, unfortunately, was enrolled in a private high school (finishing her junior year). I contacted the HS, explained the details (most of which they knew already) and said "I can't afford this, I'm going to have to withdraw DD." They responded: "DD is doing well here. We have donors looking to give for various good causes - we've got this covered for you. Don't worry about tuition."

2. Well before all of that ^^^, the school announced it was taking a group of students to Europe in the summer of 2019. DD and I attended the informational meeting. Clearly, DD wanted to go. The cost, as these things go, was doable on our then budget -- but for various reasons DD never got signed up (and the price goes up the longer you wait). With AW's problems and quitting her job, no way. Anyway, recently learned that the sponsoring teacher told DD that she had decided to "re-program" some "chaperone" funds and apply them to a student. Long story short, DD can go on the Europe trip entirely free (she has to pay $100 for tips and bring money for lunches and souvenirs.

3. In September 2017, AW and DD were fighting over AW's drinking so much that DD "ran away" for about 10 days (that's when school learned there was a problem with AW at home). DD now lives with grandparents (although she now spends a night or two with me and her brother, DS). Anyway, since I no longer paid for the majority of her care (tuition being covered by the school), she had a job, paid for her own gas, etc., lived with grandparents, I had her petition to be declared an independent minor. The court, being sympathetic to the whole family dynamic, granted her petition - before her 18th birthday. Thus, for purposes of her undergraduate college tuition and expenses - she is an "independent student" eligible for a Pell Grant (based on *her* income). Our State U. offers a "land grant scholarship" for Pell Grant recipients -- basically, the scholarship is this: for *tuition* (only - not room and board) - they'll pick up the difference between the Pell Grant and tuition. Also, because she's an independent student, she qualifies for a higher amount of student loans - an amount that is equal to room and board at State U. So, if she wants it, she can attend State U. without any upfront out of pocket expenses.

4. I feel 'lucky' or blessed that at my age I was able to find one more "job" (moving on from my own business).

I can look back at the last year and see a LOT s-h-y-t-e being thrown at me, but the Universe (and especially recently with DD), seems to be giving me and the family many good things too.

MCE Saint
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Old 12-07-2018, 05:42 AM
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MCESaint…….Oh, Yes....the Universe has blessed your Daughter's education.....
And, I know how very grateful that your are, for this....
Question---are the grandparents that she currently resides with, much of the time....your parents or your wife's parents..? Not that it makes any difference...but, I am just curious, myself....
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Old 12-07-2018, 06:09 AM
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MCE...Wow....those are some major blessings!!!

I have one child that attends private school and another in college. I realize the expense of all of that, it's huge. She must really be thriving there. That is all just wonderful. Very happy for you and for DD.
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Old 12-07-2018, 07:03 AM
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I have to also say "WOW"! I am so happy that your DD gets to stay in her private school! Also - - Europe!! Awesome! That will be a life experience that she never forgets. God (or The Universe) has a way of being able to turn a mess into a blessing. So happy for her and for you.
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Old 12-07-2018, 09:24 AM
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I have to say that I'm embarrassed by the amount of good fortune that DD has had at this school. I was actually *afraid* that it would be the opposite --- and I stayed up nights worrying about it (for me and for her).

OTOH, none of this would have happened if I hadn't finally stopped "hiding" the problem and putting the stress on myself to make it look to the outside world that everything was ok.

They were surprisingly (to me) understanding and basically said: you're not alone. We'll work with you. Let's do what's best for DD.

It takes a LOT for me (and men, I think, in general) to say: "here's a problem, I can't solve it no matter how hard I try, I need help."

I just hope that I can, in some way, shape, or form, repay (or pay forward) their generosity to me and DD.

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Old 12-07-2018, 11:16 AM
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Well now, this is uplifting!! That is just amazing all he good stuff that has happened, to both of you. Yes, it's easy to concentrate on all the sh*t we go through with our A's, but it's important to realize all the good that surrounds us.

So happy for you guys.

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Old 12-07-2018, 12:38 PM
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Hi MCE,

Very cool! Seeing the good and vocalizing it opens us up to experiencing it more fully. It's okay to feel joy, playfulness and happiness. Finding a deep, inner satisfaction in these things can become a wonderful part of experiencing them.

Happy holidays!
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Old 12-07-2018, 03:07 PM
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MCESaint…...You may never have thought of this...but, it is quite likely that some of those in the school administration may have alcoholism and some mental illness in their own families.....(they may not ever tell you this)….as well as the families of some of the other students....
I think you can trust that you are not the first family that they have come across....
I think that, sometimes, we can think that we or our circumstances are so unique......when that is not true at all.....
Alcoholism/addiction and mental illness is common.....and is not a respecter of persons....it can happen to anybody.....
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