hopeful4

So glad you are going to a meeting and enrolling in school. Good for you! Keep the focus on taking good care of you and your son.

Big hugs

seekingcalm

Good for you, familylove! Take care of you and your son. When I first came to this site, I didn't understand what I had been living with either...how can any of us know what the disease of alcoholism can do to a person, a family, until we have lived it. The more I read, and learned, the more all the crazy behavior began to make sense. Alcoholism is a terrible disease that causes the person who has it to be completely illogical, while often able to continue to be very high functioning in certain areas of their lives, like work. When they do well at work, they can tell themselves that they are perfectly normal, and that their drinking is not a problem. Eventually, they will not be able to keep it up at work either.
Reading the Big Book of AA was helpful for me too in understanding how this disease works. I needed to try to make sense of the insanity in my life.
Keep posting, and letting us know how you are doing. We are rooting for you and your son! Take care, and thank you for being here.

AutumnMama

My husband also kind of went off the "deep end" after our child was born. His excuse for drinking always revolved around the feeling of being 'trapped' by me--similar to what your husband described. Not wanting to be around me, not wanting to come home, etc.

It's really not about you at all. It took me a long time to internalize that (and I'm still working on it).

My husband ended up quitting drinking but him trying to escape feeling 'trapped' never stopped. He isolates himself most of the time now, and asked for a divorce. I say that as a caution that even if he stops drinking, the underlying issue won't magically be resolved. That's a hope I (and many people here, it seems) cling on to while the alcoholic is actively drinking!

Lunchbox1

FallenAngelina

A huge part of our own recovery is getting better at choosing what we will and will not allow into our heads and into our lives. Every person has wisdom for us, but we might not agree with the delivery or even the message every time. That's why it's so important to practice taking what we like and leaving the rest. It's a way of life that most of us who come to love an alcoholic have difficulty with, but like any skill, it can be practiced and improved upon. It's really important that, just as we expect or hope that the alcoholics in our lives seek recovery, we do the same. We are always active factors in our experience of life.

BlownOne

[I]Compulsive drinking (alcoholism) or any compulsive behavior is a symptom of something else that is wrong. Just as a headache is a symptom of some other underlying problem or deep gripping chest pain can be a symptom of cardiovascular problems. All addictions serve an emotional purpose in the sense that that when circumstances in life that are very important to a person, become overwhelming they make one feel frustrated helpless and trapped and the person escapes the trap or regains control of his or her emotions (feelings) , with booze in the case of compulsive drinking.
[/I]
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I'm sorry, but as a blanket absolute this statement is just plain false. It may be true in the majority of cases, but it simply isn't in ALL cases.