I messed up.

Old 11-25-2018, 06:55 AM
  # 1 (permalink)  
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I messed up.

As you all know from my previous post; my alcoholic ex boyfriend is drinking himself to death. Five rehabs relapses every time. He cut off everyone, shut off his phone for two weeks. His family gave up on him. It’s cold here in New Jersey and he has oil heat. I wanted to check on him. Just to make sure he was at least alive. He was on the couch under blankets with space heater on... vodka bottles everywhere. He wouldn’t get off the couch I tried to see if he needed anything and he said “go away you psycho bitch”. I haven’t talked to him on over two weeks and he said that to me. What did I ever do to deserve this? This is the man who treated me like a queen when sober. I can’t believe this. I am so hurt. But that was my ending. That was what I needed to officially be done. How can he be so nasty to me? Is this normal? I feel so hurt.
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Old 11-25-2018, 07:02 AM
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Lost,

What is happening is not normal.

You may have been in danger going to his place.

You can't save him.

You could ask the cops to do a wellness visit.

He might get arrested and 5150d.

He might appreciate your help or hate you more.

There is no correct answer except he has to decide to get well.

Getting well is a living hell and staying well is a lifetime effort.

Prayers.

Thanks.
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Old 11-25-2018, 07:04 AM
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Originally Posted by lostinjersey1 View Post
As you all know from my previous post; my alcoholic ex boyfriend is drinking himself to death. Five rehabs relapses every time. He cut off everyone, shut off his phone for two weeks. His family gave up on him. It’s cold here in New Jersey and he has oil heat. I wanted to check on him. Just to make sure he was at least alive. He was on the couch under blankets with space heater on... vodka bottles everywhere. He wouldn’t get off the couch I tried to see if he needed anything and he said “go away you psycho bitch”. I haven’t talked to him on over two weeks and he said that to me. What did I ever do to deserve this? This is the man who treated me like a queen when sober. I can’t believe this. I am so hurt. But that was my ending. That was what I needed to officially be done. How can he be so nasty to me? Is this normal? I feel so hurt.
Is it "normal"??? In a healthy relationship - one not involving an actively drinking alcoholic? No.

But, that's not the "relationship" you're in. You're in an unhealthy relationship. He's in a relationship with alcohol. You're trying to maintain a relationship with him. You're the odd person out. So, yes, this is "typical" and not unusual.

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