Christmas Present
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Aug 2014
Posts: 309
Christmas Present
I don't have a clue what to do for Christmas for my son who is an alcoholic. Posted that he relapsed after almost 90 days sober. Was on a 4 day binge and did quite a bit of damage to some personal items. Cut up his credit cards so he couldn't buy anymore booze.... now doesn't have a way to pay for his prescription, doctor visit....
Also, has only said he will up his AA meetings going forward instead of doing sober living or therapy, etc.
I feel he isn't doing anything to help himself. Nothing is different. I know I can't force it. It has to be his decision but I am not sure what to do about Christmas. I sure don't want to give him money. I know he would like if I just put money on his credit card debt but not sure about that either.
I feel the more I try to encourage change or sober living,etc. the more it pushes it out of his mind if that makes sense.
Also, has only said he will up his AA meetings going forward instead of doing sober living or therapy, etc.
I feel he isn't doing anything to help himself. Nothing is different. I know I can't force it. It has to be his decision but I am not sure what to do about Christmas. I sure don't want to give him money. I know he would like if I just put money on his credit card debt but not sure about that either.
I feel the more I try to encourage change or sober living,etc. the more it pushes it out of his mind if that makes sense.
Member
Join Date: Nov 2016
Posts: 8,617
If you feel you want to do something the only really safe thing to do would be to pay for his prescriptions and Dr visits. I wouldn't give him any cash and I wouldn't pay down any of the cc debt, that's his side of the street - plus those cards are very easy to replace.
You would only be able to call your payment in to the Dr or to the pharmacy really.
You would only be able to call your payment in to the Dr or to the pharmacy really.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2014
Posts: 2,966
Depends on the amount,but I'm investing in an ETF fund for my daughter for xmas this year. She's not an addict or anything,but she's horrible with financial planning,so in lieu of cash or a big $$ gift,she's getting a portfolio started. If she wants to do the research/'leg work' to close the fund, that's gonna be up to her. LOL
edit: I'll also buy her a couple clothing store gift cards too,so maybe that's something that'd work for you too.
edit: I'll also buy her a couple clothing store gift cards too,so maybe that's something that'd work for you too.
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Join Date: Mar 2017
Posts: 1,618
Could you gift him a subscription to an online streaming service for music or programming, like Netflix or Hulu or Spotify or whatever might float his boat? He can't drink that, or sell it to get money to buy alcohol/drugs.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2018
Posts: 35
My ABF has pawned the Christmas gifts I've gotten him in the past when he inevitably gets fired and needs money for drinking 
So I wouldn't go with something physical that has much value either. Nothing is off limits when they are in that mode of having to drink no matter the cost.
I liked the ideas offered to pay his medical bills directly to the doctor's office, or get him a subscription to something so it can't be sold. Or maybe personal comfort items that he could use-- I was thinking about a mattress and some new boots for my ABF this year if we're still together. Not much street value in a Tempur-Pedic 😂
So I wouldn't go with something physical that has much value either. Nothing is off limits when they are in that mode of having to drink no matter the cost.I liked the ideas offered to pay his medical bills directly to the doctor's office, or get him a subscription to something so it can't be sold. Or maybe personal comfort items that he could use-- I was thinking about a mattress and some new boots for my ABF this year if we're still together. Not much street value in a Tempur-Pedic 😂
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Join Date: Nov 2013
Location: USA
Posts: 2,393
Originally Posted by hummingbird358 
I don't have a clue what to do for Christmas for my son who is an alcoholic. Posted that he relapsed after almost 90 days sober. Was on a 4 day binge and did quite a bit of damage to some personal items. Cut up his credit cards so he couldn't buy anymore booze.... now doesn't have a way to pay for his prescription, doctor visit....
Also, has only said he will up his AA meetings going forward instead of doing sober living or therapy, etc.
I feel he isn't doing anything to help himself. Nothing is different. I know I can't force it. It has to be his decision but I am not sure what to do about Christmas. I sure don't want to give him money. I know he would like if I just put money on his credit card debt but not sure about that either.
I feel the more I try to encourage change or sober living,etc. the more it pushes it out of his mind if that makes sense.
Also, has only said he will up his AA meetings going forward instead of doing sober living or therapy, etc.
I feel he isn't doing anything to help himself. Nothing is different. I know I can't force it. It has to be his decision but I am not sure what to do about Christmas. I sure don't want to give him money. I know he would like if I just put money on his credit card debt but not sure about that either.
I feel the more I try to encourage change or sober living,etc. the more it pushes it out of his mind if that makes sense.
Member
Join Date: Nov 2010
Posts: 2,052
AA isn't nothing. It has worked for thousands of people over many years. Not saying other things don't work too, or that doing more might help him more, but if "all he's willing to do" is AA that's way better than nothing.
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Join Date: Apr 2017
Location: Long Island, NY
Posts: 821
Originally Posted by hummingbird358
I feel the more I try to encourage change or sober living,etc. the more it pushes it out of his mind if that makes sense.
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