Some good-ish news (an update)
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Join Date: Mar 2017
Posts: 1,618
Some good-ish news (an update)
Hi everyone,
So - alcoholic ex has been trying to get unrestricted access to Kid by launching repeated court applications (his access is currently limited and SoberLink monitored because he’s got a history of drunk driving and other crappy things, as well as mental health concerns). They have all been unsuccessful but that has not deterred him.
Most recently, he initiated an application to get rid of mandatory monitoring and to have Kid live half-time at his place. It was to have been heard in court today. But yesterday I got a call from my lawyer saying that ex’s lawyer is withdrawing the application. This is because she received my very detailed affidavit in response, which explains (with documentation) why I do not want ex to have unfettered access at present and the conditions under which I would consider increasing his access. Apparently this affidavit was sufficiently persuasive that his lawyer does not want to put it in front of a judge. The lawyers agreed that they would hold all action on this file until mid-June, which is the first date available for a form of binding dispute resolution similar to a court trial. Until then, we are staying with the status quo. This is the first time that ex’s application has been withdrawn (as distinct from proceeding to court and being shot down by a judge, which costs me a lot of time and money).
So this is good because:
*No more court expenses until June, so I have a hope of paying off my Visa before I have to haul it out again!
*I have bought eight months of time during which:
-Kid gets older and more mature, and becomes gradually more capable of managing the risks associated with her father, and/or
-ex continues to deteriorate to the point where he will be incapable of harassing me any more, and/or
-ex experiences a miraculous conversion experience and stops drinking and using and becomes capable of normal healthy parenting
It is not the end of the road by a long shot, but I am very happy to not be in court this afternoon.
And I’d like to put in a plug, for anyone else in my circumstances, for detailed and exhaustive record-keeping. My affidavit was effective in persuading his lawyer to back down because I was able to refer to specific incidents and document them. So ex’s materials said things like “Sasha is mean and vindictive” and mine said things like “Ex failed to comply with the SoberLink testing protocol on [date], [date] and [date. Attached is correspondence with SoberLink customer support confirming these failures”.
So - alcoholic ex has been trying to get unrestricted access to Kid by launching repeated court applications (his access is currently limited and SoberLink monitored because he’s got a history of drunk driving and other crappy things, as well as mental health concerns). They have all been unsuccessful but that has not deterred him.
Most recently, he initiated an application to get rid of mandatory monitoring and to have Kid live half-time at his place. It was to have been heard in court today. But yesterday I got a call from my lawyer saying that ex’s lawyer is withdrawing the application. This is because she received my very detailed affidavit in response, which explains (with documentation) why I do not want ex to have unfettered access at present and the conditions under which I would consider increasing his access. Apparently this affidavit was sufficiently persuasive that his lawyer does not want to put it in front of a judge. The lawyers agreed that they would hold all action on this file until mid-June, which is the first date available for a form of binding dispute resolution similar to a court trial. Until then, we are staying with the status quo. This is the first time that ex’s application has been withdrawn (as distinct from proceeding to court and being shot down by a judge, which costs me a lot of time and money).
So this is good because:
*No more court expenses until June, so I have a hope of paying off my Visa before I have to haul it out again!
*I have bought eight months of time during which:
-Kid gets older and more mature, and becomes gradually more capable of managing the risks associated with her father, and/or
-ex continues to deteriorate to the point where he will be incapable of harassing me any more, and/or
-ex experiences a miraculous conversion experience and stops drinking and using and becomes capable of normal healthy parenting
It is not the end of the road by a long shot, but I am very happy to not be in court this afternoon.
And I’d like to put in a plug, for anyone else in my circumstances, for detailed and exhaustive record-keeping. My affidavit was effective in persuading his lawyer to back down because I was able to refer to specific incidents and document them. So ex’s materials said things like “Sasha is mean and vindictive” and mine said things like “Ex failed to comply with the SoberLink testing protocol on [date], [date] and [date. Attached is correspondence with SoberLink customer support confirming these failures”.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2015
Location: Western US
Posts: 8,998
So, so, so fabulous Sasha. Eight whole months sounds divine. Ioved your list of things that can or will happen.
This has been such a mega marathon for you. Continue to lavish the best care you can on yourself.
This has been such a mega marathon for you. Continue to lavish the best care you can on yourself.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2006
Posts: 5,103
This is the first time that ex’s application has been withdrawn (as distinct from proceeding to court and being shot down by a judge, which costs me a lot of time and money).
Member
Join Date: Mar 2014
Posts: 685
Good for you, Sasha! Kudos on the record keeping. It's so important. Dates, times, places and third party documents to support it.
It's like preparing for an IRS audit. Detailed, contemporaneous records and third party documents are your best friends.
It's like preparing for an IRS audit. Detailed, contemporaneous records and third party documents are your best friends.
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