Final ending of this insidious disease

Old 11-13-2018, 12:24 PM
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Final ending of this insidious disease

I just wanted to give a big thank you to all of the people here

I've lurked on here and written a few times and got good feedback. This forum helped me tremendously.

I was in a near 5 year relationship with my 34 year old girlfriend. On October 27 I got a call that she had been found dead in her apartment face down on her bed. I had a dream 2 days before that she had died. The funny thing is she had been dead a couple days the coroner said. I think she tried to tell me in my dream that she passed away. I always felt so connected to her.
Needless to say it was the result of years of alcoholism. No doubt about that . I have yet to get an autopsy ruling on the cause. The police found an open vodka bottle in her closet 3/4 was gone. She has had issues since she was 14-15 years old. So young to have died this way. She had recently lost her job, car, family, me and friends. I think the last straw was losing her 5 year old precious daughter. Sent her into a sever depression. She wouldn't eat, drink hardly slept in the end. She just gave up . I always thought a bottom would help her and spur her on to recovery. She hit her bottom with a thud and died. I am heartbroken even through all the crap she put me through. She did have a kind soul deep under the alcoholism. I loved her !

I am so grateful for this site and to all the brave people who post on here. It is a hard existence to love an alcoholic. One that comes with great pain.
I have to believe this situation I experienced, loving my alcoholic girlfriend , has made me a better person inside. I found that I could love no matter what. And that I am a strong person. I am grieving and will be for some time. I try an take solace in the fact she is not suffering anymore.


Kris
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Old 11-13-2018, 12:38 PM
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Truly heartbreaking. Please take good care of yourself. *hugs*
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Old 11-13-2018, 12:41 PM
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I am so sorry for your loss. You are right, she is no longer suffering. I hate addiction.

Tight hugs to you.
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Old 11-13-2018, 01:00 PM
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"It is a hard existence to love an alcoholic. One that comes with great pain."

Absolute truth there my friend.
Please take good care of yourself (((hugs)))
Prayers for peace and healing
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Old 11-13-2018, 01:08 PM
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I am so very sorry WoundedOne for your loss. There are no words to comfort you in this time. I think they reach a point where it is no longer a choice because the only choice they seem to have is to feed the addiction. I am glad you were able to share, it’s very important you have a safe avenue to share, vent and talk about the anything you need to talk about, we are here for you.
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Old 11-13-2018, 02:39 PM
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I am very sorry.
I had a similar dream experience.
I had a good older friend who was a kind of mentor to me.
I had moved to another state, but we got together for breakfast whenever I visited my home state.
Several years down the road, I learned that he was ill and dying.
Wasnt able to see him. He was too ill.
One night I dreamt of him.
I was trying to talk to him, but in the dream he just smiled at me and didn’t talk back.
I found out later that he had died.
His upcoming death had been on my mind, so maybe that presaged the dream.
Or maybe he was telling me he was gone.
I don’t know.
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Old 11-13-2018, 02:41 PM
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I am so very sorry for your loss.
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Old 11-13-2018, 03:36 PM
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I am so sorry for your loss! Hugs to you.
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Old 11-13-2018, 03:40 PM
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Thank you for being here. The disease of alcoholism does not discriminate. May she finally have peace.
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Old 11-13-2018, 03:43 PM
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I'm really sorry, Kris. May she now rest in peace.

Take care of yourself. Stick around and keep talking, it can't hurt.
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Old 11-13-2018, 04:40 PM
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WoundedOne……..She is now, in peace. I am so sorry for your loss....
I can hear how much you love her....
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Old 11-13-2018, 05:26 PM
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So sorry....so terribly sad. Hope you find some peace of mind in the coming months... ((((((hugs))))).
Peace,
B
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Old 11-13-2018, 05:45 PM
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I'm so sorry for your loss, WoundedOne.

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Old 11-13-2018, 06:33 PM
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I am so sorry for your pain, WoundedOne.

I hope you can find some comfort here, as I have, among people who truly understand.

My heart goes out to you tonight.

SQ
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Old 11-13-2018, 06:43 PM
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So sorry to hear this. May she Rest In Peace.
So hard-thinking of you and am amazed at your clarity and forethought of the situation. Bless you.
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Old 11-13-2018, 07:55 PM
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i don't know what's next, but for the alcoholics i've lost i like to think they aren't in pain anymore. i hope the same for her, and for you.
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Old 11-13-2018, 08:15 PM
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Wow, just wow Woundedone. This kind of ending isn't what anyone wants. I imagine you will grieve for a long time.

May you grief and heal and maybe sometime feel the very best of her spirit with you.
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Old 11-13-2018, 08:57 PM
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I'm so sorry for your loss. I will keep you, and her family in my prayers.
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Old 11-13-2018, 09:35 PM
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I'm so sorry to hear this WoundedOne. It's a terrible thing addiction.

You loved her, she knew that I'm sure, although it may not have seemed like it at times,

Take good care of yourself.
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Old 11-13-2018, 11:07 PM
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Such a sad post. I cannot imagine how you are feeling, but try to hold on to the fact that she had a choice, a choice to get professional help. It sounds like you did all you could to love her. Take care and look after yourself x
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