Final ending of this insidious disease
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Join Date: Apr 2018
Location: Ohio
Posts: 24
Final ending of this insidious disease
I just wanted to give a big thank you to all of the people here
I've lurked on here and written a few times and got good feedback. This forum helped me tremendously.
I was in a near 5 year relationship with my 34 year old girlfriend. On October 27 I got a call that she had been found dead in her apartment face down on her bed. I had a dream 2 days before that she had died. The funny thing is she had been dead a couple days the coroner said. I think she tried to tell me in my dream that she passed away. I always felt so connected to her.
Needless to say it was the result of years of alcoholism. No doubt about that . I have yet to get an autopsy ruling on the cause. The police found an open vodka bottle in her closet 3/4 was gone. She has had issues since she was 14-15 years old. So young to have died this way. She had recently lost her job, car, family, me and friends. I think the last straw was losing her 5 year old precious daughter. Sent her into a sever depression. She wouldn't eat, drink hardly slept in the end. She just gave up . I always thought a bottom would help her and spur her on to recovery. She hit her bottom with a thud and died. I am heartbroken even through all the crap she put me through. She did have a kind soul deep under the alcoholism. I loved her !
I am so grateful for this site and to all the brave people who post on here. It is a hard existence to love an alcoholic. One that comes with great pain.
I have to believe this situation I experienced, loving my alcoholic girlfriend , has made me a better person inside. I found that I could love no matter what. And that I am a strong person. I am grieving and will be for some time. I try an take solace in the fact she is not suffering anymore.
Kris
I've lurked on here and written a few times and got good feedback. This forum helped me tremendously.
I was in a near 5 year relationship with my 34 year old girlfriend. On October 27 I got a call that she had been found dead in her apartment face down on her bed. I had a dream 2 days before that she had died. The funny thing is she had been dead a couple days the coroner said. I think she tried to tell me in my dream that she passed away. I always felt so connected to her.
Needless to say it was the result of years of alcoholism. No doubt about that . I have yet to get an autopsy ruling on the cause. The police found an open vodka bottle in her closet 3/4 was gone. She has had issues since she was 14-15 years old. So young to have died this way. She had recently lost her job, car, family, me and friends. I think the last straw was losing her 5 year old precious daughter. Sent her into a sever depression. She wouldn't eat, drink hardly slept in the end. She just gave up . I always thought a bottom would help her and spur her on to recovery. She hit her bottom with a thud and died. I am heartbroken even through all the crap she put me through. She did have a kind soul deep under the alcoholism. I loved her !
I am so grateful for this site and to all the brave people who post on here. It is a hard existence to love an alcoholic. One that comes with great pain.
I have to believe this situation I experienced, loving my alcoholic girlfriend , has made me a better person inside. I found that I could love no matter what. And that I am a strong person. I am grieving and will be for some time. I try an take solace in the fact she is not suffering anymore.
Kris
I am so very sorry WoundedOne for your loss. There are no words to comfort you in this time. I think they reach a point where it is no longer a choice because the only choice they seem to have is to feed the addiction. I am glad you were able to share, it’s very important you have a safe avenue to share, vent and talk about the anything you need to talk about, we are here for you.
I am very sorry.
I had a similar dream experience.
I had a good older friend who was a kind of mentor to me.
I had moved to another state, but we got together for breakfast whenever I visited my home state.
Several years down the road, I learned that he was ill and dying.
Wasnt able to see him. He was too ill.
One night I dreamt of him.
I was trying to talk to him, but in the dream he just smiled at me and didn’t talk back.
I found out later that he had died.
His upcoming death had been on my mind, so maybe that presaged the dream.
Or maybe he was telling me he was gone.
I don’t know.
I had a similar dream experience.
I had a good older friend who was a kind of mentor to me.
I had moved to another state, but we got together for breakfast whenever I visited my home state.
Several years down the road, I learned that he was ill and dying.
Wasnt able to see him. He was too ill.
One night I dreamt of him.
I was trying to talk to him, but in the dream he just smiled at me and didn’t talk back.
I found out later that he had died.
His upcoming death had been on my mind, so maybe that presaged the dream.
Or maybe he was telling me he was gone.
I don’t know.
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Join Date: Aug 2015
Location: Western US
Posts: 8,881
Wow, just wow Woundedone. This kind of ending isn't what anyone wants. I imagine you will grieve for a long time.
May you grief and heal and maybe sometime feel the very best of her spirit with you.
May you grief and heal and maybe sometime feel the very best of her spirit with you.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2018
Posts: 543
Such a sad post. I cannot imagine how you are feeling, but try to hold on to the fact that she had a choice, a choice to get professional help. It sounds like you did all you could to love her. Take care and look after yourself x
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