clarity888

I will do that, MCE. Thank you for bringing that up. I am also writing down the days of inebriation since the relapse began in a journal. I actually just returned from setting up after-school pickup for DS. AH was having our kind neighbor pick him up, then AH would finish his last hour of work-from-home while DS was home or playing with friends. In today's therapy session, it seemed like my therapist was on the fence about parenting while drunk. She would not throw the gauntlet about passing out w/DS asleep beside him (on Monday night, when AH reeked horribly of alcohol). She definitely got more indignant about potential driving with DS in the car. I am sorry that you experienced your son being in a MVA with AW driving (thank God it was minor, no injuries). I thought, like you brought up, that it had to be child endangerment for AH to be the sole caregiver when he has been drinking; even if he did zero driving. The therapist DID say that at the very least, a parent that drinks heavily around their child is not "able to be emotionally present". Indeed. I think sometimes the parent is TOO present emotionally--I've witnessed a lot of tears with AH that were just the mood changes associated w/the disease. Another reason I just signed up for the after school care was...in counseling today, AH brought up how other kids come over and play, and he plays w/all of them, say a soccer game. Well, that won't work given this relapse. I can imagine the potential disasters with kids and parents there. On Sat., I asked AH whose house DS was playing at, and he could not produce the friend's name. He could only name random first names, none of which sounded like the name of the particular friend. And that's when I knew he didn't just have the flu, that day.

ladyscribbler

I ultimately had to let go of any and all plans that included the alcoholic finding sobriety/recovery. It was not something that I could rely on.

hopeful4

Many therapists do not understand addiction enough to be counseling with an addict or their families.

Mango212

Ditto that. If one thing isn't working, keep moving forward.

Cleopatra4

MindfulMan

The converse is also true. Many drug and alcohol counselors do not understand underlying mental health or trauma issues.

Fortunately I found a psychotherapist in recovery and a dual diagnosis psychiatric clinic.