Glenjo99

Thanks I'm sure time will tell.

Mango212

Moving furniture and rearranging energy flow has me inspired to do more fun things like this in other areas of my life. I have an appointment for new rear brakes this afternoon and time to do a good cleaning of the interior and trunk.

Glenjo99

Sounds lovely. I think the rearranging has shifted the energy for me this week to an emotional place, bringing back lots of memories. Tearful today again. However as time goes on I realise this Is all part of the process. Sad days are followed by happier ones, eventually will be more happier ones.

honeypig

Glenjo, it sounds stupid to even say it, but a big realization that I had was simply that feeling good didn't mean I'd never feel bad again, and feeling bad didn't mean I'd never feel good again.

I think maybe regular people know that, right off the bat, but I had to work my way towards that revelation in a creepingly slow fashion...

Glenjo99

Yes honey pig, doesn't sound stupid at all. That's exactly what I was trying to convey. I think in the early days I thought there would only be bad days, but in a creepingly slow fashion I'm realising that on the bad days, to feel my feelings, look after myself a bit more, and when the good ones come back then milk those for all they are worth.

Mango212

This thread has been back on my mind lately. I'm living in a small cabin now. I have a queen bed, a sitting and tv area, large log bunkbeds set up, a laundry area in the bathroom and I'm finding feng shui to be vitally important here. Meditating and praying.

Things are coming together. I'm finding that having many places to sit, relax and enjoy, having different viewpoints and keeping things decluttered are all speaking to my emotional health in great ways.

Some areas have open space, empty drawers and room for much more. I have another load for the dump and thrift store. It feels good to clean things out. Ease, comfort and rhythm.

The expansive views, big porch and high vaulted ceilings give a great energy and feel to this place.

OpheliaKatz

I just went back and read this. Oh my god, this makes me feel so sad. To be honest, I don't think about people I dated 20 years ago (much). I think about them if you remind me about them, that's it. If I am still sad about my break-up with an addict in 30 years... then... oh no!

One of the things I have noticed is that when something traumatic happens to people, in order to cope with the trauma, their brains starts to repress the painful memories. I am not a psychologist or psychiatrist or neuroscientist so I am not a brain or memory expert... but I think this is something that is happening to me: I start losing the ability to talk clearly about what has happened. What I do remember... are the early days where everything looked pink.

I'm sure that's not helpful!

OpheliaKatz

Ah. The controlling, bitchy wife story. Or the "now have a wonderful life with second wife/partner, who you can see because we are at the airport with kids," story. Both thrilling tales. I call those tales the by-product of bull digestion. Reason is: my addict ex's mother was controlling and bitchy and crazy. His first 2 or 3 ex-girlfriends were either controlling, bitchy, or crazy. His first wife was either controlling, bitchy or crazy. So I tried and tried to be beyond reproach. I bent so far backwards for him, I could have won a limbo contest to Hermes Conrad. Then one day, I was called controlling, bitchy, and/or crazy... in public... on social media... in email to my former employers... etc (all because I tried to separate to create boundaries for myself because of his addiction). Sorry, I am ranting.

People you see at airports or train stations or bus stops are... well, you don't know anything from seeing them for a fraction of a second, in transit. A guy can have 2, 5, 10 years of sobriety and then suddenly implode. By then it's too late for second chances. If you're with someone with addiction, you're taking the chance that they may end up like Philip Seymour Hoffman or even Anthony Bourdain (who died of suicide, not over-dose... but he was a recovering addict), and those are people who were, I presume, liked by their families. I think any guy you break up with is a guy you break up with for a reason. It's likely that reason is the cause of the bitchiness in his current relationship. Of course, I could just be projecting here.

First thing I replaced was anything that the ExAh slept on... couch covers, linens... bed. No more stinky, dirty, sheets or mattress. Replaced the WHOLE bed. Now I have a beautiful bed I am proud of. Changing the linens and curtains really makes a different. Also added new plants.

Mango212

Inspiration, strength and hope come from many places. What I'm experiencing with furniture rearranging, feng shui, new viewpoints (physically and mentally) and healthy, fun connections with others is changing my life in many good, wonderful ways.

I moved my seating area to the kitchen / dining space, folded the table leaves to a smaller size and opened up the previous sitting area for a dance floor and play space with puppy. Having a couch in my kitchen area was very new and different, and felt okay. Out of my comfort zone kind of growth.

Moving that back several days later, everything has a changed energy about it.

Enjoying changes becomes habit as I do these kind of things often. Fun. Gratitude. Focus. Emotions. Experiences.

Mango212

"Your home is your safe haven and it should be free of negativity and its contributing factors. It’s supposed to make you feel safe and comfortable. Rearranging the furniture and position of your body, you will contribute to creating healthy energy flow and relaxed home."

Glenjo99

Love this.

Mango212

Things are coming together. I'm finding that having many places to sit, relax and enjoy, having different viewpoints and keeping things decluttered are all speaking to my emotional health in great ways.


I now have a riding lawnmower, a different furniture layout and a new friend who shared many strawberry plants with me.

Good feng shui, energy flow and saying 'yes' to healthy good obvious direction.

Quotes that come to mind: "This is easy." "I allow goodness in my life."

One from my sponsor, said often, "Actions first. Feelings will follow."

Action

I have no advice, I struggle with the past and the future myself. Three and one half years ago I finally got my ex out the door after nineteen years of marriage the last fifteen were abusive to some degree but after I said I want a divorce and divided the cash we had with checks from the banks all hell broke out. The local PD was at our home several times in the first month after she left. Our daughter stayed with me and my young grandson also, there was a time she got into it with the town cop on the front porch. I was so surprised she didn't go to jail. In the following months I kleened the house and painted rooms, redid the bath room and pulled up carpet. The house had been mine before the marriage and I was talking it back.
The one thing I have not gotten past is letting a woman come into my house, there's something about the front door. It was hard to get her out so I don't think I can let someone else in? I can talk face to face about anything and everything but I can't get past that threshold. I did hire a woman to help me paint and after an hour and a half talk about domestic abuse her story and mine everything was ok with me, so I should be able to get past it. But for now it's a wall that I'm ok with. For now.