My husband has died
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Join Date: Jun 2017
Posts: 194
My sincere condolences to you, Mamapajama, and your children. You'll be in my prayers, and I feel your being honest with your children is a wise, healthy decision. That is wonderful he had so many people attend the funeral, and his worth as a person is not diminished by his disease...your children got to see that.
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Join Date: Nov 2012
Posts: 48
Originally Posted by trailmix 
Mamapajama, I'm so sorry to hear this. Alcoholism sucks.
This must have been so traumatic for you as well, in more ways than one and I'm also sorry you had to go through that. I hope you have some face to face counselling available to you?
It's sad and remember you can always post here if you need support or just want to vent.
Take good care of yourself.
This must have been so traumatic for you as well, in more ways than one and I'm also sorry you had to go through that. I hope you have some face to face counselling available to you?
It's sad and remember you can always post here if you need support or just want to vent.
Take good care of yourself.
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Join Date: Jun 2006
Posts: 5,103
Mamapajama, what an awful scenario for you to have had to face, calling 911 and starting CPR on your husband. My heart breaks for you and for your children, alcoholism stinks. I am so sorry for your loss.
I think the oddly calm is us becoming numb to all feelings associated with having to live face to face with this hideous disease on a daily basis. I think like you said, somewhere inside of ourselves we know that day is coming.
I’m glad he was able to make peace with you and the other important people in his life these past few months. I firmly believe that A’s are generally not bad people, they just have a bad disease.
Keeping you in my prayers.
I think the oddly calm is us becoming numb to all feelings associated with having to live face to face with this hideous disease on a daily basis. I think like you said, somewhere inside of ourselves we know that day is coming.
I’m glad he was able to make peace with you and the other important people in his life these past few months. I firmly believe that A’s are generally not bad people, they just have a bad disease.
Keeping you in my prayers.
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Join Date: Nov 2016
Posts: 8,628
Originally Posted by Mamapajama
This summer I found a wonderful therapist because I just felt exhausted and anxious all the time. She will be great for my kids too as she specializes in trauma. She diagnosed me with Complex PTSD a week before he died. My PTSD was mostly due to childhood stuff but she did say that having a alcoholic husband was a factor. When I told my husband my diagnosis (not that he was a factor) I was bracing myself for him to roll his eyes. Instead, he was so kind, offered to help and even researched on his own. It was one of the “that’s the guy I married” behaviors he did this last two months before he died.
I agree with Atalose very much. Alcoholics are not inherently terrible people.
It is a mental illness in my opinion and often, also, alcohol is used to self medicate other issues and sadly very destructive to people that are in its pathway as well.
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Join Date: May 2018
Location: Where I’ve longed to be all my life…..here, now.
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I’m so sorry
Your plans with the kids and your ability to see both the sadness and anger at the situation seem very healthy.
I’m glad you shared with us hear.
Hugs to you and the children.
Your plans with the kids and your ability to see both the sadness and anger at the situation seem very healthy.
I’m glad you shared with us hear.
Hugs to you and the children.
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