34 Days of No Drinking - Sure is Nice
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Join Date: Jan 2017
Posts: 774
Originally Posted by Hawkeye13 
Intensive OutPatient
a kind a rehab where addict goes home and works daily, but attends after work and weekends
a kind a rehab where addict goes home and works daily, but attends after work and weekends
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Sep 2017
Location: Southern US
Posts: 510
He started drinking on Friday. He'd gone to a family event at his parents house. I was actually behind him on the way home from taking DD to a birthday party. He didn't see me and I turned right and he turned left. When he wasn't home 10 minutes after I got home, I looked up the GPS on his car and saw he was at a restaurant. My heart sank. It sank worse when he tried to lie. The codependent in me says if I'd called him when my car was behind him, it would have stopped him from drinking. Or if I'd turned the way he was turning, I would have been able to stop him at the restaurant. Or if I'd just kept my mouth shut about "the other woman", I wouldn't have added to his stress and made him drink.
But that's nonsense, isn't it? Total nonsense. When A's want to drink, by golly, they're going to drink.
But that's nonsense, isn't it? Total nonsense. When A's want to drink, by golly, they're going to drink.
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Join Date: Nov 2016
Posts: 8,617
Originally Posted by LovePeaceSushi
He started drinking on Friday. He'd gone to a family event at his parents house. I was actually behind him on the way home from taking DD to a birthday party. He didn't see me and I turned right and he turned left. When he wasn't home 10 minutes after I got home, I looked up the GPS on his car and saw he was at a restaurant. My heart sank. It sank worse when he tried to lie. The codependent in me says if I'd called him when my car was behind him, it would have stopped him from drinking. Or if I'd turned the way he was turning, I would have been able to stop him at the restaurant. Or if I'd just kept my mouth shut about "the other woman", I wouldn't have added to his stress and made him drink.
But that's nonsense, isn't it? Total nonsense. When A's want to drink, by golly, they're going to drink.
But that's nonsense, isn't it? Total nonsense. When A's want to drink, by golly, they're going to drink.
First of all, you don't need to keep your "mouth shut" about anything in particular, you, as you said are all grown up and you talk about what you want to talk about when you want to talk about it. Now if he doesn't' want to listen, that's his choice.
Yes, if you called him or followed him you could probably have circumvented him drinking at the restaurant. He had probably already had drinks at the get together? Just topping off the evening.
But let's say he hadn't actually had a drink yet. Yes, perhaps for this 1 time you could have stopped him. What good is that though for you or for him? You're not his Mother and I'm 100 percent sure you don't want that roll! You telling or asking him not to drink is no different than him telling you when to go to bed.
He will keep trying, it seems, to stop, he will keep relapsing, it seems, based on his history.
Unless you have plans to separate you should just focus on yourself and your life and how you can best serve yourself while living with an active alcoholic. You know, you do deserve to be happy LPS.
Don't forget the 3 Cs
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Sep 2017
Location: Southern US
Posts: 510
Originally Posted by trailmix
Yes, it is nonsense or non-clear thinking.
First of all, you don't need to keep your "mouth shut" about anything in particular, you, as you said are all grown up and you talk about what you want to talk about when you want to talk about it. Now if he doesn't' want to listen, that's his choice.
Yes, if you called him or followed him you could probably have circumvented him drinking at the restaurant. He had probably already had drinks at the get together? Just topping off the evening.
But let's say he hadn't actually had a drink yet. Yes, perhaps for this 1 time you could have stopped him. What good is that though for you or for him? You're not his Mother and I'm 100 percent sure you don't want that roll! You telling or asking him not to drink is no different than him telling you when to go to bed.
He will keep trying, it seems, to stop, he will keep relapsing, it seems, based on his history.
Unless you have plans to separate you should just focus on yourself and your life and how you can best serve yourself while living with an active alcoholic. You know, you do deserve to be happy LPS.
Don't forget the 3 Cs
First of all, you don't need to keep your "mouth shut" about anything in particular, you, as you said are all grown up and you talk about what you want to talk about when you want to talk about it. Now if he doesn't' want to listen, that's his choice.
Yes, if you called him or followed him you could probably have circumvented him drinking at the restaurant. He had probably already had drinks at the get together? Just topping off the evening.
But let's say he hadn't actually had a drink yet. Yes, perhaps for this 1 time you could have stopped him. What good is that though for you or for him? You're not his Mother and I'm 100 percent sure you don't want that roll! You telling or asking him not to drink is no different than him telling you when to go to bed.
He will keep trying, it seems, to stop, he will keep relapsing, it seems, based on his history.
Unless you have plans to separate you should just focus on yourself and your life and how you can best serve yourself while living with an active alcoholic. You know, you do deserve to be happy LPS.
Don't forget the 3 Cs
But yes, I am trying to abide by those rules.
I feel like Stewart Smalley from SNL, but "I'm good enough, I'm smart enough, and doggonit, people *like* me!"
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