On the other side!!!
 

Hello everyone.

I haven't posted or been active much lately- but to those who may remember me (and supported me when I was stuck)- My divorce was final one week ago!!!

spent some time reading my old posts. No more. NO MORE.

It was a long road of ups and downs and almost settling the divorce many times -I was naive enough to think it would have been over much sooner- However, that extra time dealing with him only cemented into my brain just how right I was for getting us out of that situation. THEY WILL NEVER CHANGE.

The kids are thriving and growing and excelling in school and just in life, their personalities shine and they sing in the car. Oldest DS, moved to junior high and adjusted so well, his studies have improved tremendously from the struggle of previous years. We all enjoy living back with my parents, this past weekend we welcomed a rescue dog to our pack - we are all in love. This is something we could never do, as the chaos and narc type behavior in the home used to scare animals .

ExAh has moved on to a new supply and they are more than likely getting married soon as possible. He continues to be emotionally damaging to the children, although he will claim it's parenting differences. It's really about his own agenda - everyone else around him is just there for the ride. Clearly I can see now, that I could have left 100,000 times differently and 10 years sooner- the outcome would be the same- I have worked through the guilt of staying longer than necessary, it hurts to know that "I" was never really that important. just the control over me.

Over the summer I was able to triple my salary and gained new employment with a very rewarding company. We camped and explored at our leisure, played and laughed and took our time to get home. I keep myself busy with health and fitness and art. My fiends have been whittled down to a handful (collateral damage of divorce/reflection on "my crowd" as well), and I have survived a few blind dates, enjoying myself again and overall I would say-Life is good!!!

It feels amazing to be finally free :)
Can't thank you all here enough, wanted to update :)

My heart is soaring for you! So happy that you and your children are thriving! Congratulations!!!!!!!! :c011:

What a great update! I am so happy that life is treating you good these days and you and your kids are doing great.

thousandwords…..I will never forget you..... I still remember how intimidated you were just to take up for yourself.....lol.....
Hearing how well you are doing...and, especially, how well the kids are doing---it just does my heart good!!
Thanks for taking the time to update us...
There are others, right now, that need to hear your story of success......

I absolutely LOVE this update! Wow. Just wow. You and kids doing amazing. Got a job that TRIPLED your salary. That is wonderful!

Thank you for the update, I hope things continue to thrive!

Wow!! So happy for you and your kids! Thanks for the joyful
update and enjoy that singing in the car ;)

thousandwords,

I'm glad you're here! Thank you for the update. It's so fun and inspiring to see good things modeled like this, again and again.

Letting go, moving forward and creating a life full of joy, goodness and kindness is something I intentionally allow. It's journeys like yours that cracked open my resistance and allowed me to see new possibilities for peace & happiness within myself.

:grouphug: :tyou

That's so great to hear TW!

I'm happy for you and your kiddies.

Very inspiring!

Not every story has the fairy tale happy ending, but your post is a beautiful testament to new beginnings. Congrats

It sounds like a happy life. So glad some are able to achieve what you have achieved.

Thank you for sharing this!! I'm so happy for you :)

Thanks for the update, TW.
You sound great!
Glad things are going well.

Thank you all for the replies.
I definitely gave the highlight reel, so don't get discouraged anyone.
I (we) have had the roughest, toughest, trying- yet best year of my life.
We were on state assistance/food stamps, I am in debt to my old landlord (she was a god send) ExAH played mind games the entire time and we have moved in with my family. So it's not all perfect. But I am totally in control of my life and my own emotions. I can literally do whatever the feck I want, any day any time, and ask zero permission and answer to noone. No longer do I have to feel like choosing between focusing on my children or a giant man baby. That is priceless to me. Things are looking up and I have time to recharge and save money, reboot life.

I just wanted to reiterate that you can chose to leave at anytime, it may get terrible at first, but it will get better, way better than you expect.
Now my most insignificant days are 1000 times better than my best days with my Ah/Narc. And that is the TRUTH!!!!

Now my most insignificant days are 1000 times better than my best days with my Ah/Narc. And that is the TRUTH!!!!

I agree with this. I'd say the same. My life is not a bowl of cherries but it is my life. Thanks for your update. :)

Bump! Thinking of you.

Thank you for this thread.

Thanks for the updates, thousandwords. I'm right there with you--grateful and appreciating every day since I got away from my own AH/narcissist, and singing in the car with my kids as well. Congratulations; doesn't it feel good? :)

Thousandwords, it's always great to hear a success story like this. I think this might be just what some other members here might get help from, too. Thanks for taking the time and effort to post.

Hello everyone,

I didn't see the recent replies until today. I am on here occasionally but it is not a compulsion like it used to be. This place really got me through some rough moments...years...I came back today to read my old threads, I do that occasionally, when things are good or going not so well, I can quickly remember where I have come from.

Life is good, still not exactly where I want to be, but so much happier/content/confident-
living long term with an active alcoholic/controlling/narc will really set you back in life if you aren't careful..lol

Currently still loving my new (not so new anymore) job, I am treated well, compensated fairly, and have opportunity here. Kids are doing well, happy, for the most part. Their father still is their father, he does not adhere to the parenting plan he fought over..but when he does, he still manages to do his emotional damage. Difference now, my kids can see the contrast of householda and are able to communicate with me. We adopted a dog and love him. Still living at home with my parents, it's a struggle some days, but all for good reason-
I am excited to start house hunting this spring, home ownership was never possible in my previous life, but here I am about to make it happen by myself and it feels great. I can imagine it now, fixing up a cute place with bright windows and a neighborhood for the kids. This is something I would visualize in the darkest of times to help me move forward in life. And it is within reach, made possible by me and me alone.

I am seeing someone that is pretty amazing. We have a year behind us now actually, started off super casual and low key... but developed at a healthy and normal pace into something real/long term. He is respectful and kind and creative and has empathy and respects me. I am learning how to be in a healthy relationship finally at 35.5 years old.

I have emotional flashbacks and days where I still feel/hear exah in my head, but I am winning this. I try not to regret staying longer than necessary because it is in the past now.

But I cannot express enough how different life is now and all for the better.