clarity888

I visited my stepmom last night, and we had good conversations about alcoholism. Her mother was an A, and my husband is. She is concerned about her grandson, who she knows drinks often and "too much", according to her daughter/boy's mother. Basically just having fun with drinking on weekends, possibly driving after a few, maybe it's during the week, maybe not yet. She brought this up since she had been nice enough to ask me how things were going with my AH, and we can share openly with a lot in common on this. Her grandson lives 4 hours from her, and is 30 years old. I told her about the three C's. She wants to tell him that A runs in her family, about how horribly it affected her life and her siblings' lives, and about "the gene". I really had no idea what to tell her--and she does not use computers or have the ability to attend meetings--she cares for my father 24/7. Should she even say anything to him? Just wondering if anyone has experience to share of a similar situation. The grandson has a wife and a baby. I guess I could give her some of the literature..Paths to Recovery, maybe. She's never shared any of the cr*p from her own upbringing w/any type of support group, and is 73 years old.

trailmix

I think the first instinct is to say - why not, perhaps he loves and respects his grandmother and it would bear weight coming from her and might help.

My only concern is that she could get hurt in this process. Depending on his temperament, it might all blow up on her. If he is an alcoholic and he is in denial, it might make him really angry. If he isn't maybe not so much.

Either way though it might cause resentment and that would probably hurt her feelings. So I think it's impossible to say, not knowing either of them and their relationship.

LovePeaceSushi

If I were her, I'd rather lovingly tell my grandson about my experience and give him some knowledge and insight than to just sit back and do nothing. I've warned my 15 yo about how alcoholism runs in our family and how all it takes is one drink. He may not initially want to hear it, but perhaps a seed will be planted and he will grow to see that what she's saying is true.....and HOPEFULLY it won't be too late!

Seren

Sure...absolutely. If it were me and I had a close enough relationship with my grandson, I would talk to him about my experiences and those of other family members. I would not have any expectations, however, because he may not at all think he has a problem. And unless and until he does, his habits would not change, but I would feel as though I did what I could.