Al Anon.....keep going?
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Join Date: Jul 2018
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Al Anon.....keep going?
Something I wondered about.
Been going to Al Anon meetings for a few weeks. I've found the last couple of meetings that I've picked up pieces of wisdom, but at the same time found the meeting a bit boring. It tends to be mainly older people who have been going for many years. I think last week I came away feeling a bit depressed after it instead of invigorated.
Am I in denial again or could it be Al Anon is not for me, or just this particular meeting. I wish there was a specific codie meeting near me but there isn't.
Thoughts?
Been going to Al Anon meetings for a few weeks. I've found the last couple of meetings that I've picked up pieces of wisdom, but at the same time found the meeting a bit boring. It tends to be mainly older people who have been going for many years. I think last week I came away feeling a bit depressed after it instead of invigorated.
Am I in denial again or could it be Al Anon is not for me, or just this particular meeting. I wish there was a specific codie meeting near me but there isn't.
Thoughts?
Life is good
Join Date: Apr 2018
Posts: 4,036
Going to extra meetings nearby and far away, listening to speakers on podcasts, cd's and even cassette tapes, all kept leading me to good things.
Listening to speakers before going to meetings tends to be beneficial, too. I listen with a new outlook.
If it's not for you, no worries. I found going for those nuggets of info suddenly made big leaps of progress in my awareness of many things.
https://www.recoveryspeakers.com/al-anon/
https://wejoy.org/
Picking out a random speaker recording: https://www.recoveryspeakers.com/11373-2
Perhaps listen to the very first part of this one. People cheering, laughing, coming together beyond any differences and being able to laugh again. To enjoy life. Not just in spite of the hardships, yet because of the healing found through them, together.
My first few months in Alanon I felt very alone. Not a part of. Very separate and different from. This was one of the ways my "dis-ease" worked to keep me ill. I realized that much later, after more recovery, having rebound moments (or days) and there always being someone within the groups of Alanon who knew how I felt. People who had been through it, too.
Listening to speakers before going to meetings tends to be beneficial, too. I listen with a new outlook.
If it's not for you, no worries. I found going for those nuggets of info suddenly made big leaps of progress in my awareness of many things.
https://www.recoveryspeakers.com/al-anon/
https://wejoy.org/
Picking out a random speaker recording: https://www.recoveryspeakers.com/11373-2
Perhaps listen to the very first part of this one. People cheering, laughing, coming together beyond any differences and being able to laugh again. To enjoy life. Not just in spite of the hardships, yet because of the healing found through them, together.
My first few months in Alanon I felt very alone. Not a part of. Very separate and different from. This was one of the ways my "dis-ease" worked to keep me ill. I realized that much later, after more recovery, having rebound moments (or days) and there always being someone within the groups of Alanon who knew how I felt. People who had been through it, too.
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Join Date: Jul 2018
Posts: 1,355
Originally Posted by Mango212 
Going to extra meetings nearby and far away, listening to speakers on podcasts, cd's and even cassette tapes, all kept leading me to good things.
Listening to speakers before going to meetings tends to be beneficial, too. I listen with a new outlook.
If it's not for you, no worries. I found going for those nuggets of info suddenly made big leaps of progress in my awareness of many things.
https://www.recoveryspeakers.com/al-anon/
https://wejoy.org/
Listening to speakers before going to meetings tends to be beneficial, too. I listen with a new outlook.
If it's not for you, no worries. I found going for those nuggets of info suddenly made big leaps of progress in my awareness of many things.
https://www.recoveryspeakers.com/al-anon/
https://wejoy.org/
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Join Date: Mar 2013
Location: Midwest
Posts: 11,481
I would try a few different meetings before deciding Alanon was not for me. Due to shifting work schedules during the first year or so after I realized there was a problem in our household, I attended a LOT of different meetings and found that they varied widely. The time at which the meeting is held can affect who goes, and of course that affects the feel of the meeting. Daytime meetings tended to be retired people, stay-at-home parents, and occasionally someone who worked nights. Evening meetings were more often a mix of types. In my area, you could find men's groups, women's groups, and LGBT groups. Some were 30+ people, others were a half dozen. Some used the format of working their way through a specific Alanon book, while others had a much looser framework and asked that people sign up on a calendar to either chair the meeting or be the lead-off sharer, choosing a topic to talk about for a few minutes to set the tone for that meeting.
So with all that said, I'll repeat my suggestion that you check around to several different meetings to see what you find and how you feel. Nothing says you HAVE to do Alanon for your recovery, but it would probably be best if you checked it out a bit more thoroughly before making that decision.
Hope you find something that speaks to you.
So with all that said, I'll repeat my suggestion that you check around to several different meetings to see what you find and how you feel. Nothing says you HAVE to do Alanon for your recovery, but it would probably be best if you checked it out a bit more thoroughly before making that decision.
Hope you find something that speaks to you.
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Join Date: Jul 2018
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Originally Posted by honeypig
I would try a few different meetings before deciding Alanon was not for me. Due to shifting work schedules during the first year or so after I realized there was a problem in our household, I attended a LOT of different meetings and found that they varied widely. The time at which the meeting is held can affect who goes, and of course that affects the feel of the meeting. Daytime meetings tended to be retired people, stay-at-home parents, and occasionally someone who worked nights. Evening meetings were more often a mix of types. In my area, you could find men's groups, women's groups, and LGBT groups. Some were 30+ people, others were a half dozen. Some used the format of working their way through a specific Alanon book, while others had a much looser framework and asked that people sign up on a calendar to either chair the meeting or be the lead-off sharer, choosing a topic to talk about for a few minutes to set the tone for that meeting.
So with all that said, I'll repeat my suggestion that you check around to several different meetings to see what you find and how you feel. Nothing says you HAVE to do Alanon for your recovery, but it would probably be best if you checked it out a bit more thoroughly before making that decision.
Hope you find something that speaks to you.
So with all that said, I'll repeat my suggestion that you check around to several different meetings to see what you find and how you feel. Nothing says you HAVE to do Alanon for your recovery, but it would probably be best if you checked it out a bit more thoroughly before making that decision.
Hope you find something that speaks to you.
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Join Date: Jul 2016
Location: Wareham, Mass
Posts: 7,067
When we lived in PA, I used to go to a Saturday afternoon meeting. It was large, diverse, had a good mix of men and women, young and older.
It was a great homegroup that helped me so, so much.
Since moving to Mass. i have not found a meeting that really clicks. There is a Saturday meeting nearby, but I’m not wild about the format.
I like step, topic, tradition meetings with speakers.
I love to hear about others’ experience, strength and hope.
I second honeypig’s recommendation that you try different meetings and Mango’s that you listen to podcasts and Al-Anon speakers.
I like Since Right Now podcast.
It’s 3 guys with many years of sobriety among them. They are great.
Good luck.
It was a great homegroup that helped me so, so much.
Since moving to Mass. i have not found a meeting that really clicks. There is a Saturday meeting nearby, but I’m not wild about the format.
I like step, topic, tradition meetings with speakers.
I love to hear about others’ experience, strength and hope.
I second honeypig’s recommendation that you try different meetings and Mango’s that you listen to podcasts and Al-Anon speakers.
I like Since Right Now podcast.
It’s 3 guys with many years of sobriety among them. They are great.
Good luck.
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Join Date: Jun 2006
Posts: 5,103
I remember reading this once…………
They say you need newcomers to tell you where you came from, old-timers to tell you where you could go, and a sponsor to tell you where you are at.
I can’t imagine an al-anon meeting without the old timers who’ve been going for a long time, who would be there to understand the program and offer support to those just starting out, like you.
In my regular meetings I don’t always walk away feeling picked up and filled with wisdom sometimes I walk away feeling pissed off and angry, but I keep going back.
Try different meetings, step meetings, newcomer meetings or just different locations.
They say you need newcomers to tell you where you came from, old-timers to tell you where you could go, and a sponsor to tell you where you are at.
I can’t imagine an al-anon meeting without the old timers who’ve been going for a long time, who would be there to understand the program and offer support to those just starting out, like you.
In my regular meetings I don’t always walk away feeling picked up and filled with wisdom sometimes I walk away feeling pissed off and angry, but I keep going back.
Try different meetings, step meetings, newcomer meetings or just different locations.
Life is good
Join Date: Apr 2018
Posts: 4,036
Hi Glenjo,
I'm going to a meeting today that's almost three hours away. It's a very small newer meeting in a resort community. I can show up, just how I am. No worries about how I look physically or emotionally. It's not about the pain I'm feeling. It's a part of the magic of recovery.
I'm planning on listening to upbeat music, singing and taking this time for me.
There is a closer meeting an hour away that I've been to several times. I'm very thankful for that meeting, yet don't feel drawn back to it.
One day at a time.
Trust your gut. Trust your instincts.
I'm going to a meeting today that's almost three hours away. It's a very small newer meeting in a resort community. I can show up, just how I am. No worries about how I look physically or emotionally. It's not about the pain I'm feeling. It's a part of the magic of recovery.
I'm planning on listening to upbeat music, singing and taking this time for me.
There is a closer meeting an hour away that I've been to several times. I'm very thankful for that meeting, yet don't feel drawn back to it.
One day at a time.
Trust your gut. Trust your instincts.
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Join Date: Jul 2018
Posts: 1,355
Originally Posted by hopeful4
Two thoughts. One, try to find a different group. Two, try Celebrate Recovery, which is much the same but different as well. It was a much better fit for me than Alanon.
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Originally Posted by Glenjo99
I love listening to speakers on podcasts, I do daily, and even listen to codependent no more few times a week on YouTube when out walking. Love this way of learning, just find the meeting boring last week. I'll keep trying.
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Join Date: Oct 2018
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Al-Anon meetings can be vastly different so find one that you are comfortable with. Yes, there are many older people that attend but they have so much wisdom to share, especially for the newbies. It has taken me a while to find the right meeting.
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Originally Posted by Joyandhope
Al-Anon meetings can be vastly different so find one that you are comfortable with. Yes, there are many older people that attend but they have so much wisdom to share, especially for the newbies. It has taken me a while to find the right meeting.
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Join Date: Jul 2018
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Originally Posted by trailmix
You might like Spartan Life Coach.
He can go on a bit sometimes, but I like that occasionally because he is thorough.
He talks about narcissism mostly but has other interesting topics too:
He can go on a bit sometimes, but I like that occasionally because he is thorough.
He talks about narcissism mostly but has other interesting topics too:
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Join Date: Jul 2018
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Originally Posted by Mango212
Going to extra meetings nearby and far away, listening to speakers on podcasts, cd's and even cassette tapes, all kept leading me to good things.
Listening to speakers before going to meetings tends to be beneficial, too. I listen with a new outlook.
If it's not for you, no worries. I found going for those nuggets of info suddenly made big leaps of progress in my awareness of many things.
https://www.recoveryspeakers.com/al-anon/
https://wejoy.org/
Picking out a random speaker recording: https://www.recoveryspeakers.com/11373-2
Perhaps listen to the very first part of this one. People cheering, laughing, coming together beyond any differences and being able to laugh again. To enjoy life. Not just in spite of the hardships, yet because of the healing found through them, together.
My first few months in Alanon I felt very alone. Not a part of. Very separate and different from. This was one of the ways my "dis-ease" worked to keep me ill. I realized that much later, after more recovery, having rebound moments (or days) and there always being someone within the groups of Alanon who knew how I felt. People who had been through it, too.
Listening to speakers before going to meetings tends to be beneficial, too. I listen with a new outlook.
If it's not for you, no worries. I found going for those nuggets of info suddenly made big leaps of progress in my awareness of many things.
https://www.recoveryspeakers.com/al-anon/
https://wejoy.org/
Picking out a random speaker recording: https://www.recoveryspeakers.com/11373-2
Perhaps listen to the very first part of this one. People cheering, laughing, coming together beyond any differences and being able to laugh again. To enjoy life. Not just in spite of the hardships, yet because of the healing found through them, together.
My first few months in Alanon I felt very alone. Not a part of. Very separate and different from. This was one of the ways my "dis-ease" worked to keep me ill. I realized that much later, after more recovery, having rebound moments (or days) and there always being someone within the groups of Alanon who knew how I felt. People who had been through it, too.
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Originally Posted by Glenjo99
Thanks I'll try both!
My thoughts to your original question are an emphatic yes, and well summarized by the wife of of a recovering alcoholic, both of whom I've known my whole life and love...she says she goes to al Anon to remain sane, while he goes to AA to stay sober. It's that important for her, and lots of folks I know.
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Originally Posted by August252015
Celebrate Recovery is very God centered, if that is important to you either way. "A Christ centered, 12 step" program is an opening statement on the site and also what I experienced at a meeting.
My thoughts to your original question are an emphatic yes, and well summarized by the wife of of a recovering alcoholic, both of whom I've known my whole life and love...she says she goes to al Anon to remain sane, while he goes to AA to stay sober. It's that important for her, and lots of folks I know.
My thoughts to your original question are an emphatic yes, and well summarized by the wife of of a recovering alcoholic, both of whom I've known my whole life and love...she says she goes to al Anon to remain sane, while he goes to AA to stay sober. It's that important for her, and lots of folks I know.
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