Safety and empowerment: car keys/house keys
Life is good
Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2018
Posts: 4,036
Safety and empowerment: car keys/house keys
This is worth a new thread of it's own.
One more element of learning, change in my own behavior and encouraging my healthy habits to continue growing.
I want a life I am safe in.
Having my car, home and life separate from active alcoholism is important.
Originally Posted by biminiblue 
I was talking earlier ... about my last guy I broke up with.
He had "borrowed" my car one night while I was at work. I got off work at 2AM and he wasn't there to get me. So now I had no car, no way to get home and no keys to get in my own place if/when I got there.
I spent the night with a coworker and in the morning she took me to my condo where I met a locksmith to let me in my place. $200. I couldn't find BF or my car for two days. I called the police to report it stolen but since I had at one point allowed him to drive it they wouldn't do anything. While the police were on the phone they told me he didn't have a driver's license, and that if he got in an accident my insurance wouldn't cover it.
He called two days later like nothing had ever happened and said he fell asleep. Apparently for two days? And he said he forgot he had my car. Say what now?
Moral of the story: no one drives my car. No one is allowed to have my house key or to have possession of my keys other than the car repair shop, ever; and I remove my house keys then. The police asked me if he lived with me. I said no. They asked if there were house keys on the car keys and they said that if he fought me, he could say he lived in my house since he had possession of the keys. I would have had to evict him - even though he didn't live with me. Plus for all I knew, he had copies made of all of them - kind of like what you're thinking.
So many nightmares from one bad decision.
He had "borrowed" my car one night while I was at work. I got off work at 2AM and he wasn't there to get me. So now I had no car, no way to get home and no keys to get in my own place if/when I got there.
I spent the night with a coworker and in the morning she took me to my condo where I met a locksmith to let me in my place. $200. I couldn't find BF or my car for two days. I called the police to report it stolen but since I had at one point allowed him to drive it they wouldn't do anything. While the police were on the phone they told me he didn't have a driver's license, and that if he got in an accident my insurance wouldn't cover it.
He called two days later like nothing had ever happened and said he fell asleep. Apparently for two days? And he said he forgot he had my car. Say what now?
Moral of the story: no one drives my car. No one is allowed to have my house key or to have possession of my keys other than the car repair shop, ever; and I remove my house keys then. The police asked me if he lived with me. I said no. They asked if there were house keys on the car keys and they said that if he fought me, he could say he lived in my house since he had possession of the keys. I would have had to evict him - even though he didn't live with me. Plus for all I knew, he had copies made of all of them - kind of like what you're thinking.
So many nightmares from one bad decision.
I want a life I am safe in.
Having my car, home and life separate from active alcoholism is important.
Life is good
Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2018
Posts: 4,036
I'm moving into a one month vacation rental next week. Kid friendly. Dog friendly. Healthy community.
I have a postal address through an independent mail box provider.
I have three vacation rental options that are really good for December, and I trust one of those will work out in right timing or something else will.
I'm healing in new ways. Seeing the absolute f-ed up dysfunction of my FOO, how deep the abuse affected me, how allowing my views to change and practicing positive words & actions implemented in new ways, having a choice in directing my thoughts, focus and actions all come into play for creating a life of my own choosing.
#lifeisgood
#newdirections
I have a postal address through an independent mail box provider.
I have three vacation rental options that are really good for December, and I trust one of those will work out in right timing or something else will.
I'm healing in new ways. Seeing the absolute f-ed up dysfunction of my FOO, how deep the abuse affected me, how allowing my views to change and practicing positive words & actions implemented in new ways, having a choice in directing my thoughts, focus and actions all come into play for creating a life of my own choosing.
#lifeisgood
#newdirections
Life is good
Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2018
Posts: 4,036
biminiblue,
Thank you for sharing what I quoted. I relate to it in many, many ways.
I'm now allowing my healthy views, actions and thoughts to be my guide. Connecting with my gut instincts, my Higher Power/God/Great Spirit. Looking for God signs, fun, the good in life.
Thank you for sharing what I quoted. I relate to it in many, many ways.
I'm now allowing my healthy views, actions and thoughts to be my guide. Connecting with my gut instincts, my Higher Power/God/Great Spirit. Looking for God signs, fun, the good in life.
Life is good
Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2018
Posts: 4,036
Three ways I'm honoring this move:
1. Saying goodbye to the place I'm at. Cleaning, enjoying, appreciating it greatly.
2. Letting go spiritually and emotionally of the apartment I had signed a lease with my husband for. Time to completely let go and move forward. I still had personal contact info of a friend who works at the apartment complex offices. I deleted it today. She is fun, kind and expressive. I trust more healthy people like this will keep coming into my life.
3. I'm going to visit a local florist and buy myself flowers after moving into the new place.
Life changes. It's good to let go, move on & celebrate the good.
1. Saying goodbye to the place I'm at. Cleaning, enjoying, appreciating it greatly.
2. Letting go spiritually and emotionally of the apartment I had signed a lease with my husband for. Time to completely let go and move forward. I still had personal contact info of a friend who works at the apartment complex offices. I deleted it today. She is fun, kind and expressive. I trust more healthy people like this will keep coming into my life.
3. I'm going to visit a local florist and buy myself flowers after moving into the new place.
Life changes. It's good to let go, move on & celebrate the good.
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