Free2bme888

What a great idea SS!

Yes, I’m ready to do that.

Cut my losses and move on, and be honest on my part to return those items lent to me.

Free2bme888

Update

Got the deadbolt in from garage door to house last night.

What a relief!!

Hawkeye13

Great job!

I like the idea of posting him back his garage door opener and not meeting.
The conversation won't go the way either of you wants anyway. . .

Free2bme888

Feeling super anxious today.....grieving the loss of what my relationship could have been

Bumming

Free2bme888

I saw a saying before:


“ I’m not crying because of you, YOU’RE NOT WORTH IT—
I’m crying because my delusion of who you were
Has been shattered by the truth of who you are.

—Dr maraboli

Hawkeye13

Break ups are hard. But it gets better--staying with an addict only gets worse.

Be strong

Free2bme888

Update. Amazingly had a big discussion with him on December 6, about two months after these posts.

I began to research and learn about characteristics of narcissist and manipulators and have been studying body language for those of us who are easily manipulated. I also have been studying about the clues we give the wolves that we are easily manipulated.

He got very angry when I was calmly talking about how he had wronged to me last year. He tried to change the subject, he tried being the victim “how come I’m feeling like the victim here”.

And not that I’m perfect mind you, but I saw him very clearly that night. He is a sick man. He has tried and successfully duped me( I ALLOWED IT) and he tries to gaslight me when I call him out on something.

Omg. I was done. I gently ask him to leave. I said “I love you, John.” And I kissed him goodbye.

He text me the next morning “good morning“ as if nothing had ever happened.

Can anyone say “Groundhog Day?”

I never talked to him in person or on the phone again. We texted a few things back and forth and I gave him back (again);all of the things he asked for again… His dog bed, the diamond necklace that he gave me, etc.

I left them on the side of his house and let them know that they were there for him to pick up.

No contact since 12/16

I. Am. FREE😍

suki44883

Yes, you are, and you always have been...you just didn't know it. A line from an old Eagles' song fits well here. It used to be in my signature. Perhaps I'll add it again...

So often times it happens that we live our lives in chains and we never even know we have the key.

Free2bme888

Thanks suki

Awal

There seems to be more con's than pro's in this relationship. Ultimately it depends on what you feel about him deep down. Trust your gut. Its YOUR life to live YOUR way. I hope you find happiness xx

Seren

Yeah....I get that. Completely.

It's really nice when we have someone to talk to, to check in with us, to ask about our day.

When my husband died, one of my early feelings was that now I didn't have someone who cared about my day, where I was, what I was doing. It's the little things...

I hope today is a bit brighter! I'm glad you are staying sober through it all!!!

honeypig

Wishing you well, Free2b. You are, indeed, free to be (and to become) whoever you really are. I posted this over in the "Spirituality" section of the forum a few days ago and I think it fits here, too:

Bless the confusion.
Let it be.

Commend it to Earth
like autumn leaves,
scattering, half-rotten,
seeding the future,
becoming fertile food
for sleeping rose roots.

Be a leaf.
Lie low.
Be blown.
Receive rain.
Fly to Earth.
Become a rose.

I bless the confusion
and let be — between
seasons, I am
changing into me.

~ Alla Renee Bozarth

Free2bme888

Wow!!!!!

I am deeply moved.

Yes, staying Sober through it all do not want to go back to that. I do have lots of confusion right now with my direction in my life. While need to be comfortable with the confusion, I am trying to be calm within it —and I so appreciate the time everyone took posting me encouragement .

HP, I have been reading a lot of your poems that you post lately, and this one I had not seen and I absolutely love it. Thank you very much.