Mood Swings

Old 09-22-2018, 04:52 PM
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Mood Swings

I guess booze affects everyone in different ways. My AH seems a happier person once he's had a drink (or 3). There is hardly any conversation from him usually..sits staring at the tv for hours in his own world, usually waits for me to go to bed before drinking (pinching it must be more fun) but if l stay up late he always has to make the announcement " well lm going to have a Jackie D" before going to pour a whisky and coke into a pint glass. And l say nothing...but the resentment grows. I resent he stays up late with the tv on and l cant sleep for the noise...and l resent he can take naps the next day while lm tired at work! (He is retired) Sorry guys just needed to vent tonight. X
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Old 09-22-2018, 08:09 PM
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I guess that's why they drink. My ABF is at his happiest when he's drinking. He is literally beaming with joy when he drinks. I have automated hatred for him every time I see him with a drink in hand. I will not allow him to drink in the house but he comes home wasted all the time. His sober self is sweet but void. In all our 6yrs of dating he has never once had a serious conversation with me about anything. I view him as a human robot.. He wakes me up when he stumbles home drunk at 2am and I have to get up for work at 530am. It's disgusting.
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Old 09-23-2018, 04:09 AM
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I’ve witnessed the moods the playful happy guy with the bottle in his hand like an excitable child...
to the :
2 bottles later the utter nonsense that he comes out with his big plans in life his erratic behaviour let’s book a holiday on my credit card now.
And then he will have a rant and get fired up about something that doesn’t even matter and it could have happened a year ago !!
While I’m sitting there thinking, here we go it’s like watching him on repeat !!
like yours hmmm I’m going to have a jack Daniels before I go to bed because the wine had ran out...( didn’t even know he’d seen it in the cupboard as he didn’t live with me !!
To the 100 cigarettes he will smoke 1 after another then fall into bed snoring.
I’m so glad i ran away from this man I see clearly now thanks to this site !!
Oh and don’t forget the last mood the downer one after they have had a heavy night and the panic attacks the constant worry and reassurance like a child they need.
So glad that’s not my life anymore
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Old 09-23-2018, 04:46 AM
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You are welcome to vent away. Since you are staying in the home and relationship, can we brainstorm ways to make it better for you? Is there a spare bedroom in your home you can set up as your own that is farther away from the TV? Is there some way to deaden the sound between the living room (or wherever the TV is located) and the rest of the house?

I hope there is some way to make sure you get sufficient sleep--because not getting enough rest affects your entire outlook on life!
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Old 09-23-2018, 04:54 AM
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I relate to what you share.

My ESH is that with me when I was an active alcoholic and with AH now, the first few were a laugh and brought happiness and feeling upbeat, then it progressed to feeling mellow and loving, then on a few more it turned nasty, obnoxious and looking for a fight.

Over and over and over again.

Now I don't drink, when AH is on about glass number three, I leave the room. As a sober person, it is all very irritating to be around. Even the lovey-dovey nice part is irritating as I know it is pure chemical. Is not him. He has checked out, whisky is running him.
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Old 09-23-2018, 07:51 AM
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Originally Posted by Amusic View Post
I guess that's why they drink. My ABF is at his happiest when he's drinking. He is literally beaming with joy when he drinks. I have automated hatred for him every time I see him with a drink in hand. I will not allow him to drink in the house but he comes home wasted all the time. His sober self is sweet but void. In all our 6yrs of dating he has never once had a serious conversation with me about anything. I view him as a human robot.. He wakes me up when he stumbles home drunk at 2am and I have to get up for work at 530am. It's disgusting.
Its just downright bloody selfish! Human robot..love it! 🤣
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Old 09-23-2018, 07:53 AM
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Originally Posted by Seren View Post
You are welcome to vent away. Since you are staying in the home and relationship, can we brainstorm ways to make it better for you? Is there a spare bedroom in your home you can set up as your own that is farther away from the TV? Is there some way to deaden the sound between the living room (or wherever the TV is located) and the rest of the house?

I hope there is some way to make sure you get sufficient sleep--because not getting enough rest affects your entire outlook on life!
We have separate bedrooms...but the house is so small l would hear the tv whichever room l was in.
I suppose i could try earplugs but then might not hear my alarm.
With him its a case of im alright Jack (Daniels).
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Old 09-23-2018, 01:25 PM
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Maybe he would agree to wearing headphones for the tv?
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Old 09-24-2018, 07:46 AM
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In the beginning alcohol is a mood elevator. But as alcoholism progresses it slams us down into misery, self-pity and rage. It's the nature of the disease, a very predictable progression.
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Old 09-24-2018, 08:37 AM
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This. I think this is why I did not recognize for a long time what an addict my XAH was. He can still be ok after a couple drinks. He can also be blackout drunk, suicidal, dangerous, the list goes on. You just never know what you will get.

Originally Posted by NYCDoglvr View Post
In the beginning alcohol is a mood elevator. But as alcoholism progresses it slams us down into misery, self-pity and rage. It's the nature of the disease, a very predictable progression.
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Old 09-28-2018, 03:21 PM
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Originally Posted by trailmix View Post
Maybe he would agree to wearing headphones for the tv?
Good Idea..however he has a habit of clearing his throat..its like a nervous habit and its also that which keeps me awake.
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Old 09-28-2018, 08:43 PM
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Awal, just a practical suggestion. If you wear a fit bit, or possibly another fitness tracker or smart watch, you can set them to vibrate on your wrist at a certain time as an alarm, which might help with the ear plug situation. You might not like having a band on while you sleep, but if you can put up with that, it could be the answer.

Regarding the mood thing, it takes a long time to dry out enough to get through the alcohol making you feel relieved and relaxed thing, and find other soothing habits. He is craving a drink, so it's very understandable that when he has it, it feeds the pleasure centre of his brain.

I was able to substitute other rituals, around pots of tea to help me through the craving period and it does go away after a while. It's a long time since my thoughts turned to drinking when I came home from work and wanted to relax.
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Old 09-30-2018, 08:37 PM
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When I worked nights it was very difficult for me to fall asleep with all the noise of the day going on around me, especially in the early morning right when I was most exhausted. I found an app called RainyMood.com. I use it anytime it is noisy or I am stressed and having trouble sleeping. If you don;t have a smartphone you can access it on their website on your laptop or desktop if it's in your bedroom.

It offers 3 or 4 different rain sounds. I just turn it up loud enough so that it becomes the white noise around me, and it works great. I've always loved the sound of rain at night.

It's on my phone which is also my alarm clock and so the alarm just interrupts it when it goes off, it's perfect.

Many people suggested a box fan or white noise machine, but a fan was never enough to cover the noise in my home/building/neighborhood. Rainymood.com has worked for me!

Good luck--good sleep is everything.
peace,
B.
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Old 09-30-2018, 09:15 PM
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I have also listened to rain sounds to go to sleep with.....on youtube….I just turn the sound up very loud, on my computer.....
I have always loved the sound of rain on a tin roof at night.....
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Old 09-30-2018, 09:52 PM
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Originally Posted by Bernadette View Post
When I worked nights it was very difficult for me to fall asleep with all the noise of the day going on around me, especially in the early morning right when I was most exhausted. I found an app called RainyMood.com. I use it anytime it is noisy or I am stressed and having trouble sleeping. If you don;t have a smartphone you can access it on their website on your laptop or desktop if it's in your bedroom.

It offers 3 or 4 different rain sounds. I just turn it up loud enough so that it becomes the white noise around me, and it works great. I've always loved the sound of rain at night.

It's on my phone which is also my alarm clock and so the alarm just interrupts it when it goes off, it's perfect.

Many people suggested a box fan or white noise machine, but a fan was never enough to cover the noise in my home/building/neighborhood. Rainymood.com has worked for me!

Good luck--good sleep is everything.
peace,
B.
Thank you..l will go seek this out and give it a try x
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Old 10-01-2018, 08:07 AM
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I have a free app on my iphone called WhiteNoise. It has about 20 different noises from rain to fans, etc that can play all night. It saves me anytime I am away from home as I use a fan to sleep at night at home.
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