alwayscovering

He actually applied to the police department. Y'all I can't make this sh!t up.

*sigh* of course they responded right away because of his military service and they are really short handed. 8.5 minute response time.

Anyway...so he's filling out the background packet and he asked me to look over it. I really don't want to. I don't want to be any part of this. I've decided I'm just going to say "yep it looks good" the only thing I will point out is if he actually leaves a question unanswered.

I will say what I WANT to say to y'all here:

It takes roughly a year to become a police officer. If you worked a program and really took it seriously you MIGHT have a shot. (okay probably not but I don't want to completely shoot him down) If you don't, I don't see how you could make it through the process and I don't know why you'd want to, whether you believe it or not being a police officer is not easy and it's extremely stressful. You can't even deal with a cross comment from your mom without going on a bender there is no way you will be able to deal with the every day stress of being a cop. Also, I think it's pretty freaking arrogant that you think you can BS your way through a sit down psych eval as well as the battery of psych tests you'll have to take...literally everything you do-they will be evaluating your state of mind. Plus you'll have to lie on the application. One of the questions specifically asks if you've driven under the influence of alcohol where an arrest could be made. If you lie you're disqualified and if you apply anywhere else they will find it and ask why and then you'll be disqualified again.

I really really really really want to say this to him...but it won't mean anything...:headbang e

mylifeismine

Staying on your side of the street. What's in your day for you?

maia1234

A,
No, its not worth any of those comments, treat him with respect and dignity and wish him good luck.

alwayscovering

not much today. It's friday and I need to go grocery shopping because I do NOT want to deal with the crowd this weekend.

Tomorrow though I'll be going to get a much needed pedicure and then I'm going to make some tailgate food and watch a football game with my kidlets.

alwayscovering

I know. I recognize that it's not worth it and it would do more harm than good but doesn't stop me from thinking it. That's why I said it here instead of to him. I will smile and tell him it looks good and let him figure it out on his own.

mylifeismine

Sounds like fun, nice to avoid the crowds, but enjoy the pedicure
I could use one too . Enjoy those kidlets while you can, trust me,
they grow up fast. Yeah I remember when people used to tell me
that......


Much better to let the world teach him what he is or is not
capable of.

Eddiebuckle

Not your circus, not your monkeys.

4MyBoys

A,

You would be surprised. My XAH was a police officer, for years with a drinking problem. As for the psych all he will have to do is admit that he did it and that it was not a good idea/he was young, blah blah blah and it is usually overlooked. He can say it was a long time ago. They feel the candidates are lying if they say they have a squeaky clean past.

The part that may catch him up is if he makes it to the background interviews. They will interview his close family and friends, in person, at length. His family or friends may have issues telling an officer to their face that he has no issues of drinking or drugs if they have seen it.

Just do your thing. Everything will filter out. My X always had big plans, I do see the dark humor in your post.

dandylion

alwayscovering…..good move, on your part, I think. Best that he get his reality feedback from the Universe...because, he would probably accuse you of not being supportive, if you say anything.....
Out of my own curiosity...what is his given reason for wanting to be a policeman...? Has he been watching a lot of cop shows?...….

alwayscovering

Idk why he’s doing this now...He’s always wanted to be a cop. He had an offer to be one (made it all the way through the process) when he got out of the military but his mom told him he couldn’t be an officer because he was a single dad (SSs Mom bailed and wasn’t in the picture) his mom is a control freak.

It’s a regret of his. He could have done it back then. He was sober and still actively working his program. So maybe he might have been okay. I had encouraged him to apply years ago (when I knew nothing about addiction) he had about 10 years of sobriety then...I support him in whatever adventure he wants to go on. I just don’t think he has the coping skills to work a job like that. I hate lying and saying I think it’s okay. But venting here helps.

RollTide

My ex once staggered in and said, "Do you think I would make a good preacher?" I simply looked up from my book and said, "Uh...no." That was the end of it.

You can't make this stuff up.

alwayscovering

I wish I could say that. I hate that I can’t say “no you need to carry your @ss to rehab instead” but I didn’t I said “your application looks great” I did spot a lie but part me wonders if he said “no” because he doesn’t remember driving drunk

BoxinRotz

They will go through his life with a fine tooth lice comb. If they find anything, and I mean anything... and he had not previously reported it, they will can him. They are looking for honesty and transparency. If you can't give that to the Department, you can't work there. They will find it. They will go deep for it. They won't let a stone unturned. At least that's how my job was when I applied at the Department of Corrections.

trailmix

Well alwayscovering, for what it's worth I think you did the best you could under these circumstances.

You didn't state your opinion, but that doesn't make you a liar. He wanted you to read his application and you did and he wrote his answers and ticked the boxes and that all looks good. Bar the lying about drunk driving but I guess that's up for his interpretation, even if it is wrong in your opinion.

So maybe you can let yourself off the hook for this one?

dandylion

Alwayscovering…..I think that people...most people...learn and accept what they learn in the School of Experience, than what they are told......

velma929

As we sat and watched TV one night, a teaser from the news came on to say some athlete or other had been caught using drugs. Ah turned to me and slurred with genuine disgust, "I don't know why anybody uses drugs." I sat there wondering when the last night might have been that he hadn't drunk 8 or 10 beers.

alwayscovering

I have been there. He LOVES to complain about his sister's drinking which I have to admit is way worse than his and his is pretty freaking bad. It used to drive me crazy but I've learned to ignore it.

alwayscovering

I am. I'm just going to be supportive even though I know what the outcome will be. FML if I'm wrong LOL.

hopeful4

I have a relative who is high up in the state police department and is in charge of background checks. They will find it. They are getting ready to let someone know they cannot work for them b/c they were late on a charge card this past year, two times. They also hook you up to a lie detector test. Just saying. I realize all departments are different though.

Good for you to stay on your side of the street!