Damit facebook
 

Please don't get upset. Tomorrow is a new day. I peeped at my ex drunks fb on a friends phone it's still boring. However, it said in the past Single Interested in : women. It said that the whole year we were together as I hate fakebook I found that rude.
Now it says: Single
Interested in Women and Relationship.

Relationship w the bottle?
U had a decent thing going with me for a drunk to be pampered.

I did not comment I blocked. Could that be up there to upset me. I won't look again but man I hate him.

I find it curious that you were using your friend's phone to look at your X's facebook page but, then you say you didn't comment, you blocked.

Right. Why would you block someone on your friends phone? It's not right.

I asked her permission to block and I got the A ok
 

She was on FB and I asked if I could take a peep at his page. She knows I been hurting. After seeing that I felt anxiety and said:
Verbatim:
Is it ok if I block him as I shouldn't even be on this.
Friend: Go ahead I don't know him

I appreciate everyone's concern for my friend. I would never just use someone's phone and do what I want. I do have morals and a good heart.

Sorry if I offended anyone what I saw bothered me.

The only person you are hurting or offending is yourself.

Every time you choose to engage you set yourself back.

Maybe it would be easier for you to think of no contact in shorter rounds, like going one week without contact and taking your mind off it for that week fully. At the end of the week you just mentally reset the timer for another week and I'll guarantee it'll be easier the 2nd time and then the 3rd until it becomes habit.

Aw, I'm sorry Shredder :( I'm fighting not to look at my ABF's Facebook right now too. I know he'll have changed his profile picture to one that isn't us and changed his status to single already. He does every time I dare have a negative thought towards him and his drinking :( I know how hard it is to fight the urge to snoop. Don't be too hard on yourself for giving in. What stops me is knowing how bad it hurts to see it with my own eyes. I'd rather not know, even though I know, you know? ;) Sometimes it takes us burning ourselves by looking a few times before we are ready to stop. I'm sorry you had to see that.

Seriously? Do you really think the guy who wants nothing at all to do with you would purposely post something on his FB page just to upset you? When is your next therapy session?

Then stop stalking him, stop twisting that knife in your own back.

If you have nothing nice to say don't say anything
 

Good Morning Atalose,

That was very hurtful. A) he is a drunk we don't know what he wants i shut off his line remember he was still communicating till I pulled the plug here and there.

When is my next therapy session? I'm in therapy 2 xs per week yes she is going to say don't look at social media and pay that rude person on the forum no mind either as her battles are probably 100 times worse than yours.

I'm not a stalker I'm 48 no contact radio silence ok I looked at his page so I set myself back. Aren't we supposed to be nice to each other on here. Telling me when I'm seeing my therapist made me feel like you think I'm war of the roses crazy. Not cool.

Telling me he doesn't want me he's drunk all day all night I have not talked to him have you?

People come on here for support if you read above if a posts offends you ignore it. You didn't have to assassinate my character as being a code I want people to like me. You hurt my feelings.
When is your next therapy appt. So you can address bullying strangers to build your self up. I suggest you make an appt.

Hey shredder, feel free to make use of the Ignore button if the feedback you are getting from any particular poster is hard for you to take.

hey kids and beans don't do that it will just bring back so much pain ... and hurt.. have a mate that just lost his wife of 20 years. they were so great together FB keeps doing that remember when bit. and it is killing him.. she was such a grand person and his white to black. she could hold the reins in on him when he was out of control.. don't look that guy up . put him on a dark dark shelf and leave him there. promise now. prayers and hope

Hope everyone can understand my punctuation
 

I'm sorry I feel that was disgustingly rude and apathetic. I would never talk to someone in such a fashion. I'm an empathetic, caring female. We don't call people stalkers, ask them when is there therapy session deeming people crazy , and saying someone who never wants to see you again. That's rude, hurtful whether it's facts or not. I still was with him for a year and I'm only close to 50 days no contact which I did by cancelling a line. I know if I didn't eventually he would come crawling back like it was for the year. I'm stronger than I think. Please block me you just bullied me when we are here to help.

Very Best,
Shredder

I certainly did not intentionally mean to hurt your feelings or make you feel bullied. I was merely going by things you have shared in your posts and with your struggle with codependency.

I’ll be happy not to post any further on your threads. Good luck to you.

I'll pray for you
 

That you have more empathy and less apathy.
Thank you for not responding to any more of my posts

C'mon Shredder. We know you're hurting but your reaction to atalose is over the top. No bullying occurred. All the name calling was done by you yourself.

I'm sorry you're hurting so badly today but again, this is why No Contact is so important for many situations. It triggers emotions that come out sideways & suddenly, we're slinging arrows to offload our pain at those trying to help us .

Maybe take a step back from the keyboard & take a few deep breaths before responding to anything else right now? :grouphug:

Oh Shredder I can certainly relate, and understand your pain. The thing to remember is that there are a lot of broken people out there in the world. Maybe your ex cannot manage his life without someone to replace you? You know, the Codie behavior being what it is. We women are internally a lot stronger than most men. We've basically been the glue to our relationships - serving, cleaning, organizing, nesting... we know how to "do life". Some men can't even load a dishwasher properly let alone wash their own clothes. I just hope you don't torment yourself by peeking on FB. That might be the only view of the world he ever gets. If he's a drunk you can bet his path is from the couch to the refrigerator. You my dear need to live life fully and enjoy where you are, today now. Take care of yourself Sweetie!

I was deemed nuts, stalker, and told I'm unloved
 

Are you trying to get me kicked off here? Those responses were bullying. I responded back with exactly my therapist would say. I was nice I'm not apathetic I'm empathetic. That clearly reeked of apathy. I hit the ignore button as suggested and if you are upset w me you can ignore me as well. Nobody knows our battles. People should be respected on here. Yes,
I'll get off my keyboard. Have a great day.

Atalose just wanted to help you not double dip into more problems you are still struggling with. You are looking for a fix by snooping on his page. Nothing good was going to come of it and the way this conversation went south proves it.

For as long as I've been here, these fine people have always encouraged outside help and asked when follow up appointments are made. We need them. You need them. I need them. Sometimes the truth is so far out there it freaking hurts. But it's still the truth.

Thank you so much
 

Ty that comment hurt me so much I'm trying to recover from codenpendency I want everyone to like me. I been like that since a child. I didn't expect to see that comment it really got me worked up like sobbing. I thought we were all in this together or if someone doesn't like my post they can just ignore me. Thank you I feel better I appreciate you.
Xoxo,
Shredder

It's not what you say it's how you say it
 

Totally get it. Stay off Facebook as it hurt. The advice was good but it could have been planned out a little more empathetic than the way it was. I stick to my saying "Its not what you say it's how you say it. In this case write it ty.

And this forum is about taking what you need n leaving the rest. Just because someone puts it down doesn't mean you should pick it up.