Checking in...doing okay
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jul 2016
Location: OKC OK
Posts: 414
Checking in...doing okay
I haven't posted in a couple of weeks. I'm still hanging in there. I go to al anon meetings a few times a week. I read the dailies- well daily. I've read co dependent no more twice. I'm going through How Alanon Works. I'm waiting for my Paths to Recovery book and workbook to come in. I pray A LOT.
I don't have a sponsor. I know I should probably have one. I think I kinda have one. I talk to her all the time, phone, text and after meetings. I want to ask but IDK if she even wants to be a sponsor.
I think he figured out that when he's drinking I find something else to do away from the house. So he's been drinking less, I wish I didn't notice or care but I still do and did notice. It's not that I feel my happiness is hinged on whether or not he's drinking, it's just that I don't like the person he becomes and I don't want to spend time with that person. I've spent so much time stuck in the house while he gets wasted being miserable. SO I do the things we used to do together, by myself. I don't want to stay home. I take my heeler to the YMCA and we walk the track. Or I'll go hiking. There's a great app called All Trails that tells you where all the trails are close to your location and the level of difficulty and the length etc. I've even signed up for a 5K(Kill me now-I HATE running) I have 2 months to get ready for this thing I think I'm going to do couch to 5K.
I'm not going to lie, I still have moments of obsessive thinking and moments where I feel just devastated but I try to be there for only a few minutes and then shake it off.
I hope everyone else is doing okay too.
I don't have a sponsor. I know I should probably have one. I think I kinda have one. I talk to her all the time, phone, text and after meetings. I want to ask but IDK if she even wants to be a sponsor.
I think he figured out that when he's drinking I find something else to do away from the house. So he's been drinking less, I wish I didn't notice or care but I still do and did notice. It's not that I feel my happiness is hinged on whether or not he's drinking, it's just that I don't like the person he becomes and I don't want to spend time with that person. I've spent so much time stuck in the house while he gets wasted being miserable. SO I do the things we used to do together, by myself. I don't want to stay home. I take my heeler to the YMCA and we walk the track. Or I'll go hiking. There's a great app called All Trails that tells you where all the trails are close to your location and the level of difficulty and the length etc. I've even signed up for a 5K(Kill me now-I HATE running) I have 2 months to get ready for this thing I think I'm going to do couch to 5K.
I'm not going to lie, I still have moments of obsessive thinking and moments where I feel just devastated but I try to be there for only a few minutes and then shake it off.
I hope everyone else is doing okay too.
Member
Join Date: Nov 2016
Posts: 8,617
Sounds like you are really on the right trail! The app sound really useful.
Your post reminded me of this post - don't know if it will be helpful but here it is:
https://www.soberrecovery.com/forums...een-place.html (The In-Between Place)
I'm glad you posted alwayscovering.
Your post reminded me of this post - don't know if it will be helpful but here it is:
https://www.soberrecovery.com/forums...een-place.html (The In-Between Place)
I'm glad you posted alwayscovering.
Community Greeter
Join Date: Aug 2011
Posts: 16,246
alwayscovering…..this is such good news! I had been wonderin how you were doing.....
Thank you for remembering us and giving the update!
These updates mean so much for those who read this forum for hope and inspiration!
Thank you for remembering us and giving the update!
These updates mean so much for those who read this forum for hope and inspiration!
Member
Join Date: May 2010
Location: USA
Posts: 13,560
Good for you!
I did that for quite a long time. I decided I had stopped living, so I just left when my XAH would drink. It worked for a while.
It sounds like you are doing good stuff! Keep up the great work on YOU!
I did that for quite a long time. I decided I had stopped living, so I just left when my XAH would drink. It worked for a while.
It sounds like you are doing good stuff! Keep up the great work on YOU!
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jul 2016
Location: OKC OK
Posts: 414
Thank you. I didn't realize how much sh!t I was covering up, even from my childhood. I've made some painful realizations and decisions. Getting healthy kinda sucks LOL you have to wade through a lot of crap to get where you need to be and I worry my boots aren't tall enough.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2014
Posts: 2,792
A,
You sound fantastic. You are working a program, living your life and not letting the addict dictate what happens to you. This is a long, long process and you are seeing the light at the end of the tunnel. Keep working the program and see where it takes you.. maybe he will want that happiness that "glows" from you and maybe not. But either way you are on the mend and getting stronger everyday to make those important decisions that you might have to make one day.
Hugs, and it works when you work it!!
You sound fantastic. You are working a program, living your life and not letting the addict dictate what happens to you. This is a long, long process and you are seeing the light at the end of the tunnel. Keep working the program and see where it takes you.. maybe he will want that happiness that "glows" from you and maybe not. But either way you are on the mend and getting stronger everyday to make those important decisions that you might have to make one day.
Hugs, and it works when you work it!!
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