Update
 

After my dd's revelation she was marrying without me present I went back to Europe for 5 weeks. Am sorry any who replied to that thread but I am OK now and revisiting it will open the wounds again. I have decided moving on from her is the best way forward.

Anyway back to now. Our adult son was taken into hospital seriously ill while I was away. Exh stepped up. He did everything a loving dad is supposed to do and more so. He moved in our house to help our other son who was left alone while his brother was in hospital and he cooked and clean and shopped and did not drink...not one drop. He sorted out the doctors, discussed with nurses and acted as go between for our son in hospital and the staff when our son was too ill to explain anything. It took me a week to get a flight home and by the time I arrived the house was spotless, the cupboards full of food and both our sons and cats happy. Ds is still ill but is home now recovering. This is a far cry from how exah used to be.

Both said they loved having their dad there and wished he was like that all the time. Exah has now gone back to his life but is visiting them again on Monday.

I got a marriage proposal when I was away I am seriously considering. Time will tell if it is feasible or not.

More details on the marriage proposal? :)

LOl. My best male friend. He helped me by dating me to socialise me again with no pressure. I'd not dated in 28 years lol. I'd never have been able to if he'd not eased me in. He's always encouraged me when I was feeling useless and ugly and made me feel beautiful even when I've been in a tent for 3 weeks with no hot water or hairdryer. He's calm and loving and very sweet to me. I can be my absolute self with him with no pretence. Things evolved over a very long time. I realised I was missing him a lot and it turned out he was me too.

Anyway I saw him a few weeks ago and he asked me to marry him. I said yes. It will be a process cos he works in a different country and I have my adult sons here still living with me. They do not want to move. IF exah could stay sober I'd have a ticket outta here but there are no guarantees. We will have to see how things pan out. He's coming back at Christmas. My boys like him and am hopeful. :)

Well congratulations!!!

I am so glad your son is doing better, and that your XAH was able to step up during his time of need. Take it where you can I say!

I’m glad your son is on the mend and that in his time of need your exah was able to step up and be sober to help him.

But I am concerned that you are still allowing your ex to have control over your future happiness. If your happiness with a new life relies on the sobriety of someone else, it’s like you are still stuck living that old life aren’t you?

Glad that your son is feeling better, and that the ex stepped up.
That must have been such a worry.
A proposal, aye? Sounds good to me.

Hi Ladybird, glad you checked in and that you are doing so well after your trip!

So a proposal! I take it this is a different person to the camp/concert person from last summer?

Regardless, i'm glad you are happy and that the ex stepped up while you were away.

Yep. I've no option on that tho. If he can't or wont take over some of the care of our autistic adult son I can't get married unless my future intended moves here. End of. There is no one else who will do it. That's the realities I live with. :(

Oh yes. This is someone I've know a long time. I've not seen the camp person since.

This was a great thing to read here. I'm happy for you and I hope all the pieces fall in line

Ladybird579,

I forgot you had a special needs son and of course his needs come first. You are a good mom!!!

((hugs))