honoring my own reality
Member
Join Date: Jun 2006
Posts: 5,103
A lot of - if only going on here. If only she, if only you. bla, bla, bla……….we can’t date POTENTIAL we have to date exactly who and how they are today.
Turn that bla bla bla tape off in your head, this women is not the women for you.
Turn that bla bla bla tape off in your head, this women is not the women for you.
Member
Join Date: Nov 2016
Posts: 8,634
Hey tracer, you know I was just thinking about this and something occurred to me. You may have already had this thought - but what about her?
She has stated she is a "pot-head" and is quite happy being one! What do you bring to the table for her?
From what I can tell by what you have described, you bring someone who wants her to change.
If nothing else, keep in mind that staying away from her is actually giving her the gift of letting her be herself. She is great - "if" you could just change this and that about her. That's a negative to her really.
Even if you were to jump in to the MJ pool with her, how long would that last before you started to have misgivings? Then what? You try to pressure her in to toeing your line?
She's quite happy with her weed and her life, maybe that is as good a reason as any to stay away?
She has stated she is a "pot-head" and is quite happy being one! What do you bring to the table for her?
From what I can tell by what you have described, you bring someone who wants her to change.
If nothing else, keep in mind that staying away from her is actually giving her the gift of letting her be herself. She is great - "if" you could just change this and that about her. That's a negative to her really.
Even if you were to jump in to the MJ pool with her, how long would that last before you started to have misgivings? Then what? You try to pressure her in to toeing your line?
She's quite happy with her weed and her life, maybe that is as good a reason as any to stay away?
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Jul 2018
Posts: 77
Originally Posted by trailmix 
Hey tracer, you know I was just thinking about this and something occurred to me. You may have already had this thought - but what about her?
She has stated she is a "pot-head" and is quite happy being one! What do you bring to the table for her?
From what I can tell by what you have described, you bring someone who wants her to change.
If nothing else, keep in mind that staying away from her is actually giving her the gift of letting her be herself. She is great - "if" you could just change this and that about her. That's a negative to her really.
Even if you were to jump in to the MJ pool with her, how long would that last before you started to have misgivings? Then what? You try to pressure her in to toeing your line?
She's quite happy with her weed and her life, maybe that is as good a reason as any to stay away?
She has stated she is a "pot-head" and is quite happy being one! What do you bring to the table for her?
From what I can tell by what you have described, you bring someone who wants her to change.
If nothing else, keep in mind that staying away from her is actually giving her the gift of letting her be herself. She is great - "if" you could just change this and that about her. That's a negative to her really.
Even if you were to jump in to the MJ pool with her, how long would that last before you started to have misgivings? Then what? You try to pressure her in to toeing your line?
She's quite happy with her weed and her life, maybe that is as good a reason as any to stay away?
Member
Join Date: Nov 2016
Posts: 8,634
Originally Posted by tracer
no i don't, just paranoid. i don't want her to know how much i am thinking about her. I'm such an addict !!
Member
Join Date: Mar 2018
Posts: 72
Hi Tracer
I’m currently struggling with attachment to my own alcoholic so might have to take this with a grain of salt. It appears to me that this woman fits an overall pattern. You withdraw in between relationships and fear that a healthy one may not be in the cars. Yet the ONE woman you feel drawn to is essentially forbidden fruit. I think that sometimes we play out our fears by making them happen. If this doesn’t work out - built in excuse - “I chose wrong”. Clearly you’re terrified of real intimacy and you don’t have to worry about that with her.
Envision the truly perfect woman. Clean. Sober. Emotionally available. Is it scary or exciting ? Whomever it is that you want, yiu can find her and deserve it. You don’t need excuses.
2kind
I’m currently struggling with attachment to my own alcoholic so might have to take this with a grain of salt. It appears to me that this woman fits an overall pattern. You withdraw in between relationships and fear that a healthy one may not be in the cars. Yet the ONE woman you feel drawn to is essentially forbidden fruit. I think that sometimes we play out our fears by making them happen. If this doesn’t work out - built in excuse - “I chose wrong”. Clearly you’re terrified of real intimacy and you don’t have to worry about that with her.
Envision the truly perfect woman. Clean. Sober. Emotionally available. Is it scary or exciting ? Whomever it is that you want, yiu can find her and deserve it. You don’t need excuses.
2kind
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