His got worse with drinking
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Join Date: Dec 2015
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His got worse with drinking
Hi all so 3 years ago I was with this fella who drank quiet a bit it was always cans of Stella and a bottle of red wine every now and then.
We broke up and it’s been 3 years since I’ve spoken to him and I received a text and it was just friendly we continued taking through the weeks and one night he called me very drunk and I hadn’t heard him this bad before so I picked him up with his bottle of red wine in hand and bought him to mine he was drunk and he was upset so we spent most of the night talking.
Saturday he came round and drank again we both did he was telling me how much he loved me and missed me and I just took it as it was the drink talking.
Sunday was a chilled day.
A week past and we spoke on phone and via text I could tell he had few drinks but he wasn’t waisted
He went out Saturday night and on Sunday o got a call can I come round he came round and I realised then he was on one of his downers so I knew he had a lot to drink Saturday night he slept most of day and kept really flintching in his sleep it took him 2 days to get over that and it hit me I had been here before with him and I had got out 3 years ago.
I know I shouldn’t have picked him up that night but i felt sorry for him and I do still love him but his drinking is worse his put on so much weight now he only drinks wine now ...red in the fridge 2 bottles at a time he drinks in the week but still works.
He goes into deep depression the day after a heavy night drinking his had 2 failed relationships since us and blamed his last ex to having a drink problem !!! Which I find hard to believe.
His now on holiday with his son which concerns me and he will drink every night I am trying to put some distance between us as I can’t go through all that again he lost me through his drinking and o don’t know why he messaged me and or why his now on contact with me after 3 years !
I do love him but can’t do this again it’s like I’m looking after a child being with him always worrying why he will do next on drink as his so loud and life’s a party with him I know what I have to do now but it’s so hard when you are in love with a functioning alcoholic I feel sad
We broke up and it’s been 3 years since I’ve spoken to him and I received a text and it was just friendly we continued taking through the weeks and one night he called me very drunk and I hadn’t heard him this bad before so I picked him up with his bottle of red wine in hand and bought him to mine he was drunk and he was upset so we spent most of the night talking.
Saturday he came round and drank again we both did he was telling me how much he loved me and missed me and I just took it as it was the drink talking.
Sunday was a chilled day.
A week past and we spoke on phone and via text I could tell he had few drinks but he wasn’t waisted
He went out Saturday night and on Sunday o got a call can I come round he came round and I realised then he was on one of his downers so I knew he had a lot to drink Saturday night he slept most of day and kept really flintching in his sleep it took him 2 days to get over that and it hit me I had been here before with him and I had got out 3 years ago.
I know I shouldn’t have picked him up that night but i felt sorry for him and I do still love him but his drinking is worse his put on so much weight now he only drinks wine now ...red in the fridge 2 bottles at a time he drinks in the week but still works.
He goes into deep depression the day after a heavy night drinking his had 2 failed relationships since us and blamed his last ex to having a drink problem !!! Which I find hard to believe.
His now on holiday with his son which concerns me and he will drink every night I am trying to put some distance between us as I can’t go through all that again he lost me through his drinking and o don’t know why he messaged me and or why his now on contact with me after 3 years !
I do love him but can’t do this again it’s like I’m looking after a child being with him always worrying why he will do next on drink as his so loud and life’s a party with him I know what I have to do now but it’s so hard when you are in love with a functioning alcoholic I feel sad
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Join Date: May 2018
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Angel, he texted you after three years since he needs a place to go and apparently where he was staying has told him to leave. I’m sorry to be blunt. Don’t pick him up again, if he lives in the gutter, that’s his choice. Mine would call anyone or anything in his contact list to find a place to stay—for free—whether or not he had any respect for that person (he didn’t). Don’t get taken in by this. He loves his alcohol and that’s it.
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Join Date: Aug 2012
Location: Chicago
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So it sounds like nothing has really changed -- either with him or with you. He's still actively participating in his addiction, and you are still unwilling to be in a relationship with an active addict. You already know no contact would be best for you.
And just a word about "functioning" alcoholics: "functioning" isn't a type of alcoholism, it's a stage. Left untreated, it will only get worse, and on a timeline no one can predict or prepare for.
I hope you stick around for support through this. We all understand where you at and how difficult it can be.
And just a word about "functioning" alcoholics: "functioning" isn't a type of alcoholism, it's a stage. Left untreated, it will only get worse, and on a timeline no one can predict or prepare for.
I hope you stick around for support through this. We all understand where you at and how difficult it can be.
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Join Date: Dec 2015
Posts: 26
Hi sorry he was at home and had a row with a mate but you are right he knows and always knew that I would be there for him and I know o have to just ignore him from now on his not going to change ever thank you 😊
Originally Posted by Leelee168 
Angel, he texted you after three years since he needs a place to go and apparently where he was staying has told him to leave. I’m sorry to be blunt. Don’t pick him up again, if he lives in the gutter, that’s his choice. Mine would call anyone or anything in his contact list to find a place to stay—for free—whether or not he had any respect for that person (he didn’t). Don’t get taken in by this. He loves his alcohol and that’s it.
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Join Date: Dec 2015
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Hi thank you I’m angry at my myself for letting him back in I thought he night have changed I’ve never dated an alcoholic I can’t deal with playing the mother to a grown man the dread of family party’s knowing his going to completely over board the crying myself to sleep after his said something spiteful to me but I miss the loving person who is on there the kid person who I fell in love with I know I’ll never win and it hurts he knows how much I love him and I suppose he knows I’ll always be there but now I have to stop and move on for me and find what I deserve now but it still hurts inside after 3 years apart and letting him back on again has only bought it all back up again thank you QUOTE=SparkleKitty;6975208]So it sounds like nothing has really changed -- either with him or with you. He's still actively participating in his addiction, and you are still unwilling to be in a relationship with an active addict. You already know no contact would be best for you.
And just a word about "functioning" alcoholics: "functioning" isn't a type of alcoholism, it's a stage. Left untreated, it will only get worse, and on a timeline no one can predict or prepare for.
I hope you stick around for support through this. We all understand where you at and how difficult it can be.[/QUOTE]
And just a word about "functioning" alcoholics: "functioning" isn't a type of alcoholism, it's a stage. Left untreated, it will only get worse, and on a timeline no one can predict or prepare for.
I hope you stick around for support through this. We all understand where you at and how difficult it can be.[/QUOTE]
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Join Date: Aug 2012
Location: Chicago
Posts: 5,450
Don't be angry at yourself, angel. It's perfectly human to have hope for those your love. Many of us here learned the hard way that loving someone is not enough to make them someone you can live with.
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[thankyou sparkle I will be ok I did it once before I will do it again it’s just raw at the moment QUOTE=SparkleKitty;6975234]Don't be angry at yourself, angel. It's perfectly human to have hope for those your love. Many of us here learned the hard way that loving someone is not enough to make them someone you can live with.[/QUOTE]
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[hi thank you it has got worse already in the 3 years we’ve been apart I noticed that straight away I am running on other direction but his in contact with my daughter 🤷🏽*♀️QUOTE=maia1234;6975670]Alcoholism is progressive, it will only get worse.
Block him on everything and run as fast as you can. You are his new "victim" to use, stop it right now.
Hugs!![/QUOTE]
Block him on everything and run as fast as you can. You are his new "victim" to use, stop it right now.
Hugs!![/QUOTE]
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Join Date: Apr 2014
Location: UK
Posts: 6,902
How old is your daughter Angel?
If she is a child you have every right to block his number from her phone when you block it from your own. If she's an adult then just explain things very simply to her, that you don't want to be involved with him any more and to not tell you anything about him, or him anything about you. You don't need to go into details or rationalise it.
BB
If she is a child you have every right to block his number from her phone when you block it from your own. If she's an adult then just explain things very simply to her, that you don't want to be involved with him any more and to not tell you anything about him, or him anything about you. You don't need to go into details or rationalise it.
BB
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Hi she is 20 and I willl sit with her tonight and ask her to meet him away from the house and not to tell him anything about me from now and I definitely do not wish to k ow anything that’s going on in his life it’s the best way now I can’t look back anymore only forward and like it’s been pointed out at the moment his a functioning alcoholic that’s a stage sooner of later it’s going to take over his life completely.
He sees no problem in what he drinks and how much he runs his own business at the moment and sooner of later that will fail because his his own boss.
He will never be happy with anyone he meets because his not happy with himself UOTE=Berrybean;6975887]How old is your daughter Angel?
If she is a child you have every right to block his number from her phone when you block it from your own. If she's an adult then just explain things very simply to her, that you don't want to be involved with him any more and to not tell you anything about him, or him anything about you. You don't need to go into details or rationalise it.
BB[/QUOTE]
He sees no problem in what he drinks and how much he runs his own business at the moment and sooner of later that will fail because his his own boss.
He will never be happy with anyone he meets because his not happy with himself UOTE=Berrybean;6975887]How old is your daughter Angel?
If she is a child you have every right to block his number from her phone when you block it from your own. If she's an adult then just explain things very simply to her, that you don't want to be involved with him any more and to not tell you anything about him, or him anything about you. You don't need to go into details or rationalise it.
BB[/QUOTE]
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